im starting to get a little bit bored of being single! I've been single for 3 years now and boys have asked me out but I'm just looking for the right one! how can I find the perfect lad! please help x
Most Helpful Guy
You need to become a "chooser." Meaning, now that you are thrusting yourself into the dating scene, you need to start building a dating pool. The more men you date, the more you will be able to filter out the ones you feel are the best matches. Also, it will give you more options. If you meet a guy you like, but you realize he isn't interested the way you are in him, then there are others to spend time with.
To boot, you are a woman. You are in control most of the time when it comes to picking who you want to date. I highly suggest that you hit on men, too. I'm serious. Why sit back and wait for a guy to say: "Hey what's up? I'm interested in you. What do you think?" As a woman, your chances of getting rejected by a man pale in comparison to that of his in the reverse scenario. Why not go out there and choose who you want to date?
The more men you acquire in your pool, the more your options will abound. This may entice you to play hard-to-get with some of them. This is cool if you are really interested and know how to play the game. A perfect example of playing hard to get is when you are aloof, but still available; accessible, yet hard to nail down. See what I mean? It's a fun game if the guy likes to play, too. It can contribute significantly to to the success of building attraction from the opposite sex.
Here's what I ask of you, though. If you aren't interested in a guy other than to just be friends, don't play around with his head in a way that makes him think you are playing hard-to-get. It can be confusing, and dangerous. You don't want a clinger/stalker on your hands! Some girls will use this tactic to keep a man in her life as an "orbiter," too. Meaning a guy who is there mostly for emotional support and to provide her with attention. If you are dating a guy, and you feel it isn't working out, then tell him. Be honest. You can go the "I just want to friends" way, but just be honest. It will save you time and from problems in the future, unless it is your intention of having orbiters. If that's the case, then you suck -- JK!
Above all, though, just have fun! As a guy who is currently dating after ending a long relationship, I can tell you it's brutal out there -- mostly for a guy. But if you can't just shake it all off, go out and keep plugging away -- just have fun -- then it's not worth it.
And, P.S.: It's not a crap-shoot like this guy here said. If you become a chooser, then you will find who you are looking for because of choice, not to just to settle, or fate, or any other reason.