Do girls want a gentleman?

I'm here to ask If a girl likes it when a guy makes you laugh and makes you happy and interests you. What if he is polite and kind and always says if you need any help just give me a call. I ask because if you look at my other questions I asked I have a japanese girl that really liked that for about 2 months and then she just stopped. She didn't mess around with me anymore didn't really seem all that interested. (for further details click on my profile and go to question Why is she acting so distant.)

I suggest you read that part if you really want a grasp on what I'm trying to say here. I was nothing but nice polite and respectful to her. I never made a move because she doesn't want a relationship, I never touched her in appropriately because I respected her space and her privacy. Yet some how she still found a reason in her mind to go from talking for hours hanging out for hours and e-mailing me constantly to not calling me not talking to me and e-mailing me once a day or 2 days.


She literally said she was not interested in a relationship and she freaks out if someone tries to do anything to her that's not more then friends. So I was always a gentlemen to her. I mean yeah we would mess around and joke, I was never like a butler but she never seemed uncomfortable then one day it just stopped. She had no problem with it when I'd tease her, she'd playfully hit me or something and now I feel like If I teaser her like I use to she's gonna be upset. Because she doesn't seem like I'm her best friend anymore. What did I do, could a guy make one mistake say one thing wrong and its over with him for a girl? Could I have gotten to close and she doesn't like it?

Was I treating her to nice? She did always say that at the beginning. Your too nice, and she always said it with a smile and was happy. She is japanese and she did make friends with another japanese girl so was I replaced by someone from her own culture? I don't want to think I'm focusing on it too much and I'm the one that actually changed and it wasnt her. It's just like I said we went from hanging out all the time and doing crazy things sharing personal problems and everything to, the best description would be from best friends to casual friends in like a day. I did hang around her a lot I might have been to clingy. Either way I can't figure it out, If I was to clingy then I figured the month of space I gave her would be enough. She only saw me once in a 5 weeks. Also we didn't talk for the first 3 weeks. Which Is why she messages me back at least once a day now, I'm guessing. So I'm just gonna keep treating her like she's my best friend, even if I'm not hers. Because I'm a gentleman and that's all I know how to be.

I don't want to lose her as a friend. What is it you thinks she wants? And what is it you would want?


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a very very long thing that I just read.. I respect you are a gentlemen.. but I don't think that is what I would ever want. I want a guy that gets moody and makes me mad at him so that we can kiss and make-up and so that when we actually get into the relationship and he starts being real ( yelling when he's mad and stuff.. because gentlemen or not when you get comfortable with somebody.. you will almost ALWAYS get in fights and be ruder than usual ) Just like best friends.. when they know each other long enough they go over each others house and hang out there but they can get in fights and stuff and its like they are sisters and brothers.

    Maybe she is scared of getting hurt, ask her what her deal is, communication is key so you need to ask her that!! If she honestly doesn't want anything to do with you.. then don't waste your time on her.

    Thanks for respecting her, and your a good person.

    But if she doesn't want you.. respect that as well and don't waste your life away waiting for her.

    ;) Good Luck!

    • I'll respect any choice she makes, because I want her to be happy. I don't know how to show her that I wouldn't hurt her, like I said I'm not heartless. I just don't want to show her when I'm upset. Also she's japanese and is also just as polite as I am.

    • Show All
    • Thats the thing, I'm a music guy. Thats what she really likes about me but sometimes when were not talking about music and seem to really start talking about other things we like and dislike. She stops like she caught herself getting to personal.

    • Maybe you should try really basing the relationship on music and give her time to open up.. like talk about music until she stops, and starts talking about something else more personal.. good luck!

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What Girls Said 6

  • I just can't stand guys when they don't act like gentlemen. it seems like her problem is not with you being a gentleman. You are doing the right thing. I think you should talk to her, Ask her if you did something or said something that hurt her. Tell her you are gonna act the same because you are a gentle man and that's all you know how to be. hope it helps:)


  • What you need to do, is politely pull her aside and ask her, "what's going on?" That way if you're the process of losing her, you can have a chance to get her back again, she's probably just confused, but really you need to ask her. Girls really like it when you ask them and actually seem to care, believe me, it's your best choice

    • And if she doesn't think anything has changed do I bring up what I noticed had changed or do I apologize?

    • You just tell her that you've felt like you haven't been that great of a friend for her lately and that you just want her to have best that she can from you, and ask her what you can do to make things better for her. Good luck!

  • my initial thought was that she was afraid of getting close to you for whatever reason, perhaps she was hurt in the past and is recognizing that you really care for her. I personally have that problem, when a guy does all the right things and its in the friendship phase things are cool, but when he starts showing signs are romantic interest- freak out mode starts. Anyways I know I'm late answering this question, but I just wanted to share a little insight, hope it helps somehow :o)

  • Sounds like she's just not into it anymore, for whatever reason. You should just straight-up ask her what the deal is, even though you may not like the answer.

    But whatever happens, keep being a gentleman, I PROMISE you it's a total turn-on. Good luck :)

    • Thats why I'm so afraid to ask. If she doesn't want to hang around me anymore its gonna be really hard to hear it from her.

    • Truth hurts babe, but the sooner you get it over with the sooner you move on with your life. You're too nice of a guy to spend your time and energy on someone who doesn't deserve it or want it. :)

  • Okay first of all you need to tell her how you feel about her and ask her does she want that from you. And ask her what does she want. If she tells you the opposite of who you are forget her because there are lots of girls who would want a gentleman but you need to let them know if you want them because how is there going to be a relationship if there is nothing but mystery?

  • She told you that she didn't want a relationship, so you know that its anything but that. Back off from her and see what she does, then take it from there.

    I personally would love a gentleman, some one to treat me with the utmost respect and understand that I do have feelings and is not interested in playing games. All you can do is be yourself if she doesn't want that you will find someone who does.

    • I did, so she could take as much time as she wanted off from me. She took about 3 or 4 weeks off from me. We haven't hung out in 5 weeks. She's e-mailing me every day now and wanted to hang out but I had work. she talks to me but retreats after. idk why.

What Guys Said 1

  • Personally I want to say they want a gentleman but it hasn't worked for me. GL though it can be tough and its defiantly confusing..