How should women share their feelings with men?

I've been reading over various questions about the different communication styles of men and women etc.

there are several questions where someone will ask if men prefer women to be honest about their feelings and most often men say yes they do.

then on the other hand there are questions about men talking about their feelings and men say that they dislike talking about their feelings.

this is confusing to me. if on the one hand men want women to be honest about their feelings then why on the other hand do they themselves not like to talk about their feelings in return? why do men not think it is important to be honest about their feelings to women, yet expect women to be honest with them?

I don't share my feelings with my boyfriend because he doesn't share his with me. I don't ask him about what he's thinking or feeling because he doesn't ask me, if he's not interested in what I think or feel then I assume he doesn't want to discuss what he is thinking or feeling with me.

I would very much like to talk to him about these things, but from what I've been reading it seems like men say they want women to be honest about their feelings but in reality they would rather that women shut up and deal with their feelings on their own. is there any validity to this idea?

what is a constructive way of discussing thoughts and feelings with men in a way that they can understand, is nonthreatening and won't make them stressed out?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Good question.

    Read this article to get some good answers:


    • Thank you for the link. the article is helpful but also a bit disheartening as these differences in communication styles seem very hard to overcome. it almost seems like a better idea to just avoid the topic of feelings altogether when speaking with men so as not to cause stress and conflict. I don't know that I could learn to communicate like a man since I've had so much time to learn to communicate like a woman that it has become instinctual.

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    • That link is very helpful!

    • " I think women can cause themselves a lot of trouble by falsely believing that every feeling is worth discussing at length. Men can learn from opening up, but women can learn from sucking it up, too."