Should women show less emotion?

since many men feel that it is "weak" to show emotion, would it be better if women showed less emotions as well? do men wish that their girlfriends/wives would hide their emotions instead of talking to them about how they feel? would this make women seem "stronger" and not as "weak"?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The question isn't about weak and strong as so much its about the volume of weak vs. the volume of strong. Men by nature are problem solving creatures. Yes, even ignoring feelings is a form of solving (albeit not a great choice). Women, by nature, share their problems, wanting ro be understood and heard. Solving is secondary. There lies the issue!

    Most men like "low-maintenence" women because they achieve higher rates of self-problem solving than the "HIGH" women. As for emotions not related to problems, this theory kind of works. Overly (or dramatic in some circles) emotional women get tuned out the longer they remain this way. Men aren't interested in things that have no end point! That is there life in a nut shell. We take roads to get places, not to just drive. We buy things we need, not go two hours to look at things we may or may not get (unless its related to major purchases:car, house, etc.) We need wood to build fires, not talk about how cold it is and the ramifications of being cold!

    That is your answer. Be emotional. Share some feelings. We understand. Just have a game plan to solve the issue or find a girlfriend who has the patience to just listen. We aren't built nor do we WANT to be built to absorb your feelings like a sponge. We don't even do it to ourselves! LOL

    Hope that helps..

    • It is helpful thank you :) although perhaps not in the way you meant it to be lol. it seems to me like it is best to keep emotions to oneself when talking to men, even a boyfriend, and save them for people who will understand and accept them such as female friends.

Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Guys Said 6

  • The short answer--NO! Men may feel it's "weak" to show emotion, but, let me ask you this--do the men you're interested in date other men?

    When you, initially, show less (but still some) emotion, men are attracted to you because they can communicate with you on the same wavelength. If, after this initial draw in, you don't become more of feminine, you'll just become another one of his guy friends (who also communicate on the same wavelength).

    If a man tells you to act like a man, either he is gay, wants to play the woman role, or is giving you bad advice.

    • How is a woman to find that delicate balance between being too emotional and showing just the right amount. it seems like a very difficult thing to master.

    • Show All
    • Thank you for your comment ... I can't say that it is helpful but it is enlightening but also frustrating. :) it seems that women must do a lot more work in regulating the "openness" of their heart. I know for me I would like to think that I could be completely "open" with my partner, but if that is not valued by them then there is no point in baring oneself in such a way and hoping for reciprocation. perhaps the better question is should women learn to value their emotions less.

    • If love was the only thing that mattered, there wouldn't be so many single people. People generally also want to "date up" and usually care most about their own needs being met (at least initially). When people open up to each other, they are vulnerable, and can easily be backstabbed (but also be fulfilled).

      Men face the same "tuning" challenges as you, just inversely. Don't value your emotions less, just understand than men are different creatures, not ready for all of it at first.

  • In my opinion, its not that men want women to be weak or strong. For me personally. I want a woman to be emotional. Now not overly emotional. That complains about everything, but, emotional enough to share their feelings with us. Communication is a huge key in a relationship. Guys have their guys to hang out with, where we communicate on the same thing, however, when we talk to girls. we are more open, and we want to hear what you have to say. but don't come to us about pointless things. You have your girlfriends for that. Most men want a woman to be weak, because it's in our nature to be dominant. We like being in control. However, every once in a while, "I" personally think its attractive when a woman takes control, and is strong. I guess what I am trying to say is. Be your normal feminine self. and every once in a blue moon show some strength.

  • I think it depends on the guy. I hear of guys who become angry and physical with women who show emotion, and then I hear of guys who are okay with emotion. I think it's best to show emotion in moderation. It's usually okay as long as you aren't crying on the phone every day, or something to that effect. I think MEN need to show MORE emotion, that way women who are just expressing how they feel aren't badgered by men who pretend to be brutes.

  • Women can be extremely manipulative with, so-called, emotions. They learn from a young age that if you are good looking and know when to pout, cry etc. that it gets them the attention they endlessly crave.

    Most of the "emoting" I see, revolves around complaining, bitching and moaning about trivial things. Some women could have everything and still find something to complain and feel bad about.

    Those are the kind of emotions that strong men and strong women can't stand. It's way overdone, particularly in the "me" culture of the US.

  • Yes, I want my women to show emotion. If I wanted an emotionless robot I would have bought me a blow-up doll.

    • Do you think most men want their women to show emotion tho? and if so then doesn't it seem fair that the man reciprocate by sharing his emotions too? it doesn't seem fair to expect women to share their emotions and be vulnerable while the man remains distant and "strong".

    • In general you can blame society for that. Luckily though, there are certain male individuals who aren't afraid to show their emotions, like me for instance. I'm pretty confident under my own skin. Those who know me wouldn't look at me as gay or weak, but rather passionate and genuine BECAUSE I can reveal my emotions. There aren't a lot of men like me for I'm one of a kind. But to be fair, more than half the time I do keep that cool, distant attitude. It's just how I am.

  • Funny question... but I guess you have a good point. I guess you could be right on saying that showing less emotion should make the relationship possible, however my question would be how long could that relationship last? without sharing each others idea, and feelings... could there be trust? I don't know much I guess... but I guess I'll leave that question upto you. =)

    • Sharing ideas and opinions is different from sharing feelings in my opinion but maybe that's just me. but it's a good question and I guess the trust wouldn't be there, at least not on my end of the relationship, I can't trust someone if they don't share their feelings with me and therefore I'm not going to share my feelings with them ... but it seems like women are expected to share their feelings in a relationship and then men don't want to hear them or think the woman is drama.

What Girls Said 1

  • I understand your question and totally appreciate it, I will tell you a simple experience that happened to me. I'm not very emotional at all, and I like to keep it drama less and fun. I dated a guy for a month and a half, thought everything was great. Finally when I kind of forced him to have

    "where is this going talk," he basically told me I wasn't serious enough, so if a guy is looking for a serious relationship, they are wanting the serious connection.

    • I'm the same way, I basically never show my emotions to my boyfriend because I don't want him to think I'm drama or high maintenance but I guess that's wrong too ... sometimes I really just don't understand what men want, if you make it easy for them they don't want it, if you tell them everything they don't want it, oh well.

    • Show All
    • In response to MattMA, I may try to appear "low maintenence" to my boyfriend but I most certainly have emotional issues I just try to keep them to myself because I have come to believe that men cannot be trusted to care/deal/be sensitive to other people's emotional issues or emotions in general. I "deal" with my issues by never bringing them up to him. I've learned that you cannot count on anyone else to give you anything and don't count on them to listen or care either.

    • Well, I'm considered a female vulcan, that should sum it up