Why do guys just want to have sex with me? Help me I'm lost and I don't want to be an old maid!

I'm 24 years old in college and I work. I feel like I'm a good catch but I can't meet a guy who wants to be in a relationship with me they all just want sex. The last guy who I was dumb enough to kick it with on that level would ignore me and not return my calls but then when he wanted some he... Show More

Most Helpful Guy

  • Partly, it's because of your age. Many younger guys are preoccupied with getting laid. A guy's sex drive tends to cool out a bit as he ages.

    Also, I'll bet it's because you date only guys who chase you. If you show a little interest in a shyer, quieter guy, they're usually less preoccupied with getting some. They often want to move slower in the relationship, too.

    Additionally, this pattern happens because you've chosen to sleep with guys. You've created this behavior pattern. Look at the cause-and-effect of your decisions. You sleep with Guy A. Guy A bails out until he's horny, then he calls you again. You sleep with Guy B. Guy B bails out until he's horny... See the pattern? These guys are not looking for relationships. Sex is not the way to get a guy to stay with you.

    You can't control the guys who are attracted to you. But you can control if you chose to date them, and how you behave yourself.

    For example, if you tell guys up front that you're not going to have sex for at least 6 months, that announcement will filter out a lot of guys. They'll be gone after a few dates, when you stick to your commitment. But the guys who stick around and looking for a more serious relationship.

    • 1) showing interest in shyer, quieter guys won't necessarily solve this; and those guys tend to be boring anyways and 2) she didn't claim to give those guys any and certain guys want and expect some whether or not they're getting any

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    • I find that when people say that quiet boys (or girls) are boring, it means that they're actually easily bored.

      But y'know, keep doing what you've been doing, and you'll get what you've got.

    • That's right I'm bored: of guys who are too shy to even approach me, talk to me a lot, ask for my number, ask me to at least hang out, etc. nothing wrong with being bored of those guys and it doesn't make me easily bored. and I don't think it's just what I'm doing but also what many shy guys are doing.