Controlling men and their behaviors?

When in a relationship, why are some men so controlling and possessive? I mean, the girlfriend is loyal and have not cheated, why the need to act as if she is an object that belongs to you and you have to monitor her everyday actions? Someone please explain this to me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • There are two types of men: those who like to BE in control, and those who are controlling.

    The ones who like to BE in control are the "top dog" type. They ask their girlfriends to do things for them (make them dinner, bring them a beer, report to the bedroom) and their girlfriends LOVE serving them. They also help steer their girlfriends in the right direction if she talks about making a poor decision (cutting her hair short, buying an annoying little Pomeranian dog, getting too drunk if she's a lightweight).

    The men who are controlling, however, are insecure cowards who are afraid of losing their girl. They probably do everything they can to try and please her on a superficial level, but they feel the need to monitor her whereabouts because they're paranoid that she's going to cheat on him.

    The first man is a leader - people respect leaders and value their guidance. The second man is... a hostage taker - he takes people prisoner to gain power.

    The second man is an energy vampire who feeds on emotional manipulation. The first man feeds on delicious meals that his woman cooks for him.

    • There are many more than two kinds of human beings with a penis.

      Also everyone in a relationship 'guides' their partner. And if someone wants a dog or a haircut,its not someone elses place to consider it a bad decision.

      guy #1 IS controlling and sounds insecure.

      being in control means of yourself and your decisions. not of other people. that's a warden.

    • lol toulouse... the most ironic thing about you is, for all your talk about not controlling others, YOU are probably one of the most controlling people to comment on this website. Anyone who doesn't subscribe to your extreme feminist views is fair game to you.

      When I give advice, I relate to men on a personal level. You, however, relate to an abstract ideal of human beings that has no basis in reality.

What Guys Said 11

  • WHY?

    I'd think

    -Because of their own insecurities

    -Because they were educated with the example of a controlling &possessive father.

  • It's the same reasons why women are control freaks. Too many people want to be in charge and have everything their way or else regardless of gender.

    Society expects men to be leaders and take charge. Wimpy men are unacceptable. To be whipped by women is unmanly. Just how it is.

    Women respond by means of feminism. Women use the Eons old gripe of suppression to strike back and to put men in what they think is their place. Therefore, women use the strong and independent line to be in charge of men.

    The results: you guessed it. A world full of self-proclaimed leaders of too many chiefs and not enough Indians as the old term goes.

    Think about it from your perspective. Do you really respect a wimpy, submissive man who actually asks for everyone's opinion first and doesn't take charge of something? Right the first time.

  • In my experience, women vary in their definition of a controlling and possessive man . So it really depends on what examples you give. It is not black or white,it differs with cultures. Some women go crazy if they feel their significant other is not jealous enough about them and consider it as lack of interest.

    Some women demand that it is their right to leave their boyfriend at home and go get drunk and grind against other men in nigh clubs. As long as she doesn't sleep with them. If they sleep with them , they blame it on alcohol and demand that they be forgiven with a blink of an eye. As if their man is made of stone.

    For me , It is like saying it is my right to walk and dance on the thin edge of the cliff, as long as I don't jump.

    At the end of the day , it is a matter of preference. And to accept that what you will do to him he could do to you . Big or small.

    May be I am having extreme examples, but I don't know what is your situation.

    Just tak about it and things will be fine.

    All the best ,

  • some just love so hard that they feel the need to monitor you to make sure they are not dreaming and plus it stops him from becoming a jerk like I am some times to my girl and she is a b%$h somtimes but it works some if you still feel special at somtimes then its worth him being that way but if its really creepy then back out now to prevent further hurt on him XD

  • Easy. Because if they lose you to someone else, it will be extremely hard for them to get a new girlfriend. Gives you an idea of how unsuccessful they are with women and makes you wonder why did you settle for them.

  • Insecurity and trust issues (as others have said). Also, some are just plain sociopaths.

  • Could be because they are insecure and have trust issues. They don't feel like there good enough for you. And are worried others guy are going come take you (There source of happiness in life) away from them. So they become possesive and control. And don't want you around other guys for fear you may become more intrested in them. Its his problem not yours. He needs to man up and be more confident in himself.

  • Just because they haven't, doesn't mean they won't

  • Well I don't believe in men treating women like she's his property, knowing she has her own mind, but what I also don't believe in is... just because that old catch phrase "happy wife=happy life", means that the husband is suppost to be afraid of his wife, like he's a whimp.

    For example lets say if the married couple was looking for a new house to live in, they have three options to choose from, but the husband likes one house more while the wife like's another house more. He may like one house because it's belove their budget and it's more convinent, meaning it's closer to his job, and that house has a basement that he likes, do you think should give up all of that, becauee his wife like a house that had a bigger backyard "that he could care less about?"

    I guess it's upsets me because evertime I watch that show "House Hunters" on HGTV, most of the time the husband agrees to choose the house she like the best.

  • Tis the cause my dear, the cause!


What Girls Said 4

  • Insecurity and lack of trust

  • Insecurity and testosterone.

  • Why do you stay with someone who you feel treats you ike an object. try to answer _your_ behavior, before setting out to understand someone elses. If you can not explain yourself honestly. you'll always trip up in trying to understand others- Because All relationships are a relate. Yore a central cause and effect of how he relates -to you.

  • Because they are d***heads... there is nothing to explain they aren't nice people that lack a firm grasp on reality.