Do I not love him anymore, or is it depression?
Ok, I was always a depressive kid I guess. When I was a teen I usually felt lonely, low self esteem, and sad, but I thought it was a phase. Then I met my boyfriend and next week we're going to have our 3rd anniversary.
Before we started dating I felt great, and after we started I felt I was on Cloud 9. It was awesome, but suddenly from one day to another I felt like I didn't love him... and I also felt like nothing else in my life had a point, music wasn't pleasurable anymore, food wasn't pleasurable anymore, I wasn't interested in things I used to be interested in. I over analyzed everything I felt or didn't feel. I was so worried about not loving my boyfriend anymore! Once we almost broke up and I couldn't, I cried and cried, and we stayed together, I didn't want to leave him but sometimes I didn't care if I didn't see him, etc.
After a couple of months it passed, although I never felt quite normal, I lost my sex drive, and I never fully recovered interest in my past hobbies. I did feel like I loved him again. Little over two years have passed since then, I was doing great, even next week I was feeling better than ever before (about my relationship and life in general), and then all of a sudden from one day to another, I feel like I don't love him. And I don't care about many things now, either.
However it's different this time... it's milder I think. I haven't lost my appetite, although music isn't as pleasurable, I feel demotivated, I don't feel excited about seeing my friends. And I don't really know what I want from life or from myself. But I'm not sure if it's depression, or do I really not love him anymore? Maybe I'm depressed about other things because I don't love him anymore? But how? How could I have fallen out of love from one day to another if we haven't had any problems lately?
Can depression cause 'love' feelings to fade? I don't understand, I DON'T WANT to stop loving him, he's great, we've planned a future and we've gone through so many good things together... I am so scared that I may be falling out of love, I only want to be with him for the rest of my life, but why do I feel numb and like I don't care if I don't see him? I don't want this to happen, I want to love him forever. I don't want to leave him.
What's Your Opinion?