Did he really love me?
I met a guy about a year ago and a half ago and we hit it off from the get go. We became really good friends. We were both married. My marriage was horrible, married to a man who verbally and emotionally abused me and was a control freak. My friend and I could tell there was a mutual attraction and we talked about it and that we should be careful about how much time we spent together and what we talked about. We ended up kissing and we decided that we should back away from each other, which we did. What he didn't know was that I had fallen in love with him, but I never had any intention of telling him because what would be the point? We were both married. I ended up filing for divorce, not because of him, but because my marriage was so horrible and I moved out of my house. I still had no intention of telling my friend I was in love with him and we kept our distance, but two months after I moved out, I got a text message from him at 4:30 in the morning telling me that he couldn't stop thinking about me and that he was in love with me. Three days later we ended up making love. Before we did I told him that he needed to be careful with me and not to make love to me unless he really loved me because my heart was very fragile. He assured me that he loved me, but had no intention of leaving his wife and I was fine with that. Afterward, we both felt really guilty about sleeping together. Three days later I asked him if he loved me and he said yes. I asked him if he was in love with me and he said, no...he was in love with his wife. We decided to just be friends. We still hung out together after that, but didn't become physically involved again. But he would look into my eyes sometimes like he was lost in them. He took me to one of his favorite places and also showed me around his home town. Before I left to go home one day, he hugged me so tight and so long. That was the last time I saw him. His wife found out we were hanging out together and she was understandably angry. She does not know we made love. We decided to end out friendship because he didn't want his marriage to end and his wife actually threatened him with physical violence. When we last spoke I asked him if he loved me and he said "I like you, but I love my wife." We agreed to not speak to each other anymore for the sake of his marriage. We ended our conversation amicably and talked about other things and it was easy, just the way things always were between us...easy and comfortable. Then I had a little trauma during my divorce and needed him and I sent him an instant message on Facebook. He immediately blocked me from Facebook. It felt like I'd been stabbed through the heart. I am so confused and hurt because he told me he loved me and then said he didn't but went out of his way to take me to his favorite place and hug me so tight and long when we said goodbye. Do you think he really does love me but knows it's futile so he has to cut all ties with me? Was I a game of did he love me?
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