How do you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone?

I would like to hear some stories. Are you engaged/married? How did you decide on this person? How did you meet and how did things progress? What about them makes them so much better than anyone else you've ever known? How do you know?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You just know. You picture your life and yourself in the future, and that person is there. You can't imagine them not being there. I mean, you *can*, but it hurts to. You'd feel empty without them around.

    As far as my bf and I (who will be getting married), we met about four years ago at a bar. I was out with friends and he just started chatting me up while I was waiting for a drink and bought me one. Any time I went to that bar, I would see him and we would talk or joke…just acquaintances, really. I was sort of involved/hung up on a guy so I was interested in dating at the time.

    Eventually, his group of friends started hanging out with my group of friends and we would all see each other one or two nights a week. We would always flirt and he would hint at taking me out, but I was still stuck on the other guy that was stringing me along. I finally realized it would never progress into anything and moved on. For the first time, I noticed that my now bf was always there. When I was bored, I'd text him. When I was upset about a guy, I'd go out and he'd be there and make me laugh.

    One night, I was out as usual with a couple of girl friends and asked him to come out. When he got there, my friends had left but I stayed to hang out with him. I remember him being surprised that it was just me and that I'd asked him out. I ended up going home with him that night and we've been inseparable ever since.

    Sometimes I look back on it and think I should've known from the beginning that this guy was it. We've always had a connection and are alike in so many ways. Being with him for the past couple of years has just solidified that.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Says my wife; "You don't know it: three years later you'll both be different from who you're today. It's a gamble."

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    • And right now we're on a holiday i n Paris, less than a mile from where we had our1st holiday tpgether, before you were born. ;)
      And the wifi is French...

    • I like that :) thank you for answering

  • I've only met a handful that I really wanted to spend more than a night or two with. The rest of your life is a long time if you're lucky. Choose wrong and you'll be hoping it's NOT a long time, lol!

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  • Pft.

    I don't.

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  • I can never know. I change, people change. I myself am not a sole entity psychically and same is with others. It is much too complicate to extrapolate the longevity of my relationships with people.

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  • If I could meet a woman who could tolerate me for more than a week I'd know right then and there.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I think it's something that you just know. When you can't picture your future without the other person, or when you always take a minute to think how they'd react to a big decision you're going to make (i.e. like going back to school or moving or something). Also when you never get sick of seeing them all the time.

    I'm engaged. I first met my fiance in person about 9 years ago when he came here to visit some of his family here and also to check out schools because he was interested in leaving Europe. He went back home but we talked through Facebook and emails. He came back a few years later to live and go to school here and we ended up going to the same school. So we just hung out more and more. I wasn't sure if I liked him or not, but he liked me and kissed me randomly one night. Now we're here, lol.

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    • I've been in a similar situation I know what you mean. Congrats to you both and good luck!

  • I always wondered this too, especially as commitment scares the cap out of me (signing a lease on a car is almost too much commitment for me if that says anything).
    Then entered the only man that didn't make me hyperventilate and break out in hives at the mention of marriage. I realized that if I lost him due to not wanting to marry him I would not be able to live. In fact the thought of not having him in my life caused me to hyperventilate and break out in hives.
    So it wasn't any big feeling of love, though I did love him deeply, it was the simple fact that I knew he made life better. I was a better person with him, and I knew I could trust him with every aspect of my life. I felt safe and loved.
    Now it didn't work out (sometimes things happen and make the person they become after an incident is not the person you knew), but when I find a guy that makes me feel the same calm and peace I know I will be set.

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    • You sound very similar to me. It's not that I'm afraid of commitment but when you put things in prospective it can be daunting! I admire you taking the chance because you would have never known if you just walked away from marriage. Sorry it didn't work out that time. Those are good points tho.

  • I can't explain but you simply know. Especially, when you are willing to give up everything for that person. Cause that is how you feel about them.

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    • I've been that way but am not sure if I always will for the same person

    • There are no guarantees in life. Sometimes you simply want to be with that person.

  • It's a gamble, you don't know

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  • I love and appreciate every stupid thing about him, from his inappropriate jokes to his freakishly long eyelashes. :)

    I sort of just knew that he's the one I want to be with. Not only to be together now, but to be together in 60 years. His genetics suggest he's going to bald and get fat as he gets older, and I want to be with him for that. He talks a lot about how much he wants a baby girl and I want to be the one to give him that daughter. And as a bonus, I absolutely adore his family and I'd love nothing more than to be a part of it.

    I possibly just made no sense at all. But maybe you get the idea.

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