People are hesitant to date kids who had divorced parents?

Is this true? My parents aren't divorced but they have a bad marriage. My home was always miserable and there's emotional abuse going on between my parents and my dad emotionally abuses my siblings and me. Especially me.

I've been to therapy to work out my issues. Personally I don't see the problem with marrying someone of divorced parents. Seeing two miserable people together can hurt children badly and make them long for their parents to separate.

We all have baggage in one way or another. If a guy has divorced parents but is mature and committed to being married I think he can be fine. After all sometimes seeing your parents in a poor relationship will inspire you to be different in your own. I tnink history only repeats itself when people haven't addressed their problems.

Plus my own family is messed up so I think someone who is from a perfect family would find fault with me anyway. What do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends on the person's culture. I'm South Asian and my "community" looks down upon divorce. It's treated as this...disease. Contagious. Heritable. They think that if a kid's parents got divorced, then that kid is likely to also get divorced. I don't know if there are any statistics to support such a claim- but that's how some people view it. When I asked my parents why they won't get a divorce, they stated that one of their reasons is because they don't want it to taint my sister's chances of getting married.

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    • R u from the southeast asia? Cause i dont remember my multicultured friends mentioning any of these in their cultures...

    • I am Southeast Asian. And Muslim. So divorce REALLY is looked down upon in my community.

What Guys Said 4

  • I wouldn't have any hesitation dating a person who's parents were divorced.

    I think statistics do show that children in 2 parent families have better success in relationships as adults but I think that number is getting less and less different from children of divorce. since divorce is a relatively new common occurrence we as a society are getting better and better at dealing with and raising children in that environment

    I would have absolutely no problem dating someone who's parents were divorced

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  • Idk, it mostly depends on the person with divorced parents herself/himself but i dont know f*ck about this cause most singaporeans have happy marriages including my dad

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  • Date, sure. Chances of success? Lower.

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  • Not necessarily. I may be hesitant to date someone who has a turbulent family relationship if it seems like it effects her in ways that could affect a relationship (which could include divorce) but divorce in and of itself not a big deal.

    Someone who has sought therapy & seems to know and understand their situation like you wouldn't worry me at all. It's the people who have a messy situation but they don't really understand that it is in fact a mess.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Nopes I mean 50% of people get divorced anyways so its kind of a norm

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  • I've never even consider things like that when I'm dating someone, and getting to know them.
    I couldn't care less if their parents are together or divorced. I mean, I care because I care about them, but neither would ever be a deal breaker in any way.
    My parents are still together and I'm still as fucked up as anyone else.
    Divorce doesn't always mean things were bad, it definitely doesn't automatically mean that person will be a certain way in a relationship.

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    • I totally agree. My friends parents are divorced and mine aren't. They were both bad situations but she thinks it was better that they ended it than keeping the kids in a toxic home. And she actually has much healthier relationships with her parents than I do and much better self esteem

    • Every situation is different, absolutely.

  • The facts show that if two people come from unbroken homes with their biological parents married and both in the child's life, their marriage is more likely to survive and be successful. The idea is that they will have been taught conflict resolution skills.

    Some people are so concerned with having a successful marriage that staying married is more important than happiness within said marriage. So they'd rather date someone from an unbroken home than someone from a broken one. If it makes you feel any better, you'd be from an unbroken family and they'd only cite your history of emotional abuse as a reason to not date you...

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    • My parents did not resolve conflicts well at all. I do not feel that my parents had a functional relationship at all. So I don't know if I am much different than divorced kids. My mom is extremely passive and that is the only reason they stay together I think they are both codependent and messed up people.

    • It's up to you to break the cycle. And if I;m reading your tone right, you don't sound passive lol! But wouldn't you rather find a guy who accepts you and your background than a guy who thinks you're one way or come from a certain background when you actually don't?

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