What do you think about women who do the proposing instead of men?

I saw on Twitter this picture of this woman proposing to her guy and this other women responded with "I would never..."

Is there something wrong with a woman asking for a man's hand in marriage?

GIRLS: Would you do this? Why or why not?

GUYS: Would you accept your woman doing this if the two of you were madly in love and ready to take that step? Only she beat you to it?

(I didn't add a See Results button on purpose)

  • I am a girl and I would propose to my guy.
    30% (64)0% (0)17% (64)Vote
  • I'm a girl and a man is supposed to propose to me.
    70% (149)0% (0)39% (149)Vote
  • I'm a guy and I wouldn't want my girl to propose.
    0% (1)32% (55)15% (56)Vote
  • I'm a guy and I'm okay with my girl proposing to me.
    0% (0)68% (115)29% (115)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a rather futile discussion as it will vary wildly with everyone, but here goes.

    As a guy, I will thoroughly enjoy planning out my proposal to the girl of my dreams (whomever that may be). But I also admire confidence and vibrato. If we had talked about getting married and dropped hints back and forth about a proposal coming up, but she just beat me to it, I would die laughing, pick her up and kiss her. I am very much comfortable enough in myself to be incredibly happy if she did that for me. And hell, I might even go through with my proposal just to show her what I had planned! That would just be an incredibly silly situation and I would love her even more for that. And if I'm honest, I want to marry someone confident enough to steal my proposal. To me that just seems like an amazing start.

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    • That's what I was thinking. Like, a double proposal or something. There's nothing wrong with showcasing to one another how creative you both can get when it comes to proposing. I agree with everything you've said!

    • And I'm honestly an incredibly silly person. On the outside it looks like I rarely take anything seriously. Love is one of the few things I take seriously. I want someone who will match my silliness and can play along. Heh I basically just want a lifelong playmate, in bed and out.

      Haha I can't stop smiling from the idea of someone actually proposing to me. It'd be pretty hilarious and adorable. And entirely valid in my opinion. Hopefully I'll find someone like that :P

What Guys Said 78

  • That would be the best thing ever. Women keep wanting to be equal. But when it comes to paying a check all of a sudden it is "tradition" that a guy pays.
    I am back to dating after my divorce. I finally found a woman who asked me out...she paid for most of the stuff we did, she did all the things that I do for women. It was incredible. I tried so hard to make it work. we just were not compatible. but it was awesome.
    women should do more of the "going first" stuff...

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  • Totally cool. You're just as much a part of that relationship as him so why not? Arbitrary gender roles are breaking down and that's a good thing. You want to get married? Go for it. I'm not a fan of marriage in general for lots of reasons but if it's what you want go ahead.

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  • I'd probably still say no but at least it would show she's not like a lot of the self-entitled girls out there marrying for all the wrong reasons and insisting on guys "doing all the work." I'm seeing a lot of girls deliberately looking for guys as a "tool for a vision" so to say and I'm really good at finding out what they're going for early on.

    I've even talked to girls on the phone from dating sites and they'll immediately tell me they're looking for a guy to move in with to split the bills exactly this way and stuff and while what they're looking for may not necessarily be "bad" it's still way too early to be talking about that stuff but it's like they're tunnel visioned into looking for this "exact" match which gives me the impression that they're impossible to negotiate things with.

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  • Everyone is so used to a guy proposing. Hell I wouldn't mind a girl proposing. That would be interesting. A little unrealistic but I wouldn't mind it. Actually now that I think about it as I'm typing this, I wouldn't want that because what if I need to reject her? I wouldn't wanna do that. That would be horrible. How am I going to deal with rejecting a girl who liked me so much that she actually propose to me? It would pain me to see her be so sad. So on second thought, I would want to propose. I can deal with rejection

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  • I know it is tradition for the man to propose, but I am sick of man stuff. Yes I have a penis; why does that mean I have to be responsible for things like "making the first move"?
    I really don't want to be a man or a woman.

    Gender roles seem like a real drag to me, lets all just be people, and be with the people we like, as consenting adults.

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  • I vote 'D' - there's no hard and fast rule about who should propose though historically it's been an accepted fact that it's the man who must propose which is more cause marriage is a responsibility and the man has to take care of running the household apart from protecting the woman and children etc. This is apart from this being also considered an act of chivalry as well as respect for the woman :) Also that women historically (and more of them) love the man proposing to them - something to do with the way nature's made us :)

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    • 'traditionally' women run the clan, cave, council, village, household guy goes off somewhere...

    • A woman is VERY powerful compared to a man and at the same time more prone to emotion (something that doesn't go well with power) which is why she's been kept subdued since ages :)

      Nature has bestowed women with multitasking brains while man can't generally which is why he hunts for the family while a woman handles all these :)

    • @Azara: I am fine with the woman running what she wants and working herself to death while i enjoy my life and play video games and drink beer.
      I raise my glass to feminist "liberation" hahaha

  • I guess there's nothing wrong with a girl proposing too a guy if both of them are truly in love. But I wouldn't like if a girl did to me cause I'm more of a traditionalist thats why I picked C for this question. Plus I'm against marriage cause it's nothing more than a govermental and religious rip off paying thousands of dollars in fees just so some nut case can had a tiny piece of paper fuck that shit

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  • Would absolutely enjoy it! I would melt, just as a girl I love would probably melt if I would propose her.

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    • yeah that makes perfect sense. if its real love either way should make you happy:)

  • I am a painfully shy guy and missed out on opportunities because I didn't really believe that my girl wanted to love me for the rest of her life. Had she proposed to me we would be a happy family with children now. I found this out years later after she met another guy and had kids with him btw. I wish I was part of the youth in this modern society where women have many more rights and freedoms to do such things. It's great for the "shy guys" of the world! I hope my added comment helps explain and cheers :D

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  • I'm not into gender roles so I don't care who does the proposing as long as it gets done lol

    If my longtime girlfriend proposed to me I'd have no problem with that at all. If I wanted to marry her it would make me incredibly happy that she felt the same way ;)

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  • There's nothing wrong with a woman who is strong and brave enough to want to make her man feel special, when the whole world revolves around men doing and buying things for women.

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  • I voted D, but it better not be a surprise. Surprise "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but be my husband, and I'll make babies" moments have kind of a stalker chick vibe.

    Most guys will pop the question pretty much as soon as they decide they want to marry a girl. If he hasn't popped the question, it's cool to ask what he thinks about the concept, but just popping it on your end can be a deal breaker, even if he might have gotten there eventually.

    Yeah. Guys can be morons that way. :-)

    Best to talk around the issue without making it seem like you're fishing for a proposal.

    If you're feeling adventurous, you can make a joke out of it with a girlfriend while you're all together and tell her you're totally gonna marry this guy and have his babies if you can ever get him to pop the friggin' question. Then grin, and wink at him Be prepared for a deer in the headlights look. If you get it, pick on him about it. Hellooooooooo! Mr. Deer in the headliiiiiiiights. Earth to (guy's name). Followed by laughter. You'll have a good long talk about it later that night. Be OK with it if he's not there yet.

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    • or she can just ask instead of playing games like a child, and if he doesn't want it he can say no, or not ready.

    • I think you'll find out that approaching potentially stressful topics while using humor as a "way out" lets you broach dangerous topics without triggering your mate's defense mechanisms. If you just throw down the question and let it sit there, it's like an ultimatum. Either you get engaged on the spot or it's over. It's not childish to look for a less bipolar way of doing it. The guy might love the girl, but still need time to think about it. If you force him to say he needs to think about it he in essence, has had to turn down her proposal. That's hard to recover from.

      Never force a person to make a decision if you aren't OK with them making it in a way you don't like.

  • There are women out there like that where do I sign up?

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  • I'm okay with it but I would prefer doing it because it's tradition and something I've though of since I was young. But I wouldn't mind her doing it. .. it would be kinda hot actually, out of the norm

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  • I'm for it

    the best thing she could do is bring up the topic. If she is ready for that step she'd be better of bringing the topic up. We will discuss it and if we are ready she should wait a few months because 9 /10 ties dude will propose

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  • A woman proposing to a man...

    There was a stupid movie, called "Leap Year." Amy Adams, I think? She goes to Ireland because there's some Irish thing that on leap day, it's fine for a woman to propose to a man, and she wants to get married. She tells this to a local who's helping her.

    He bursts out laughing, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of! A desperate measure by a woman trying to rope herself a man who clearly does not want to get married!"

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    • Interesting. I've always wanted to see that movie. I remember it coming out!

    • Wasn't very good. :p I only saw it because my parents rented it. Point's valid, though. Marriage is about a man committing to a woman--not a woman committing to a man. Hence, a woman proposing is weird. Such commitment must be offered freely, not asked for.

  • I would love it, I think it's fantastic that women are starting to become equal, it's great that society is finally starting to accept that men and women are equal. It's no longer the mans job to be the asker outer or pay for everything etc same as its no longer the women's job to live in the kitchen and clean up after her man, those days are dying thank God

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  • I'd have no problem wit a women proposing if we loved each other enough for marriage, this is 2014 not 1914.

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  • Go for it honestly, If I love you it won't make a difference to me.

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  • I voted D and the results are like WOW!
    It seems that guys are truly more open minded and liberal when it comes to this whole proposal thing. I guess girls still have a long way to go.
    Very surprising!

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  • I have no problem with that, the answer is still "no" though, LOL!

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    • Hahaha. Would you give her an A for effort?

    • I am a very lucky guy! I am with a wonderful woman. We aren't legally married, we are totally 100% happy being common-law. We both think weddings are a waste of time and money. Been together for 17 years just fine. She would get an A, LOL!

    • That makes me happy =D
      Happy for you both
      and I agree with you
      Waste of time and money for sure

  • I would think it's adorable

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  • Honestly I would rather they didn't I just think that is the mans job is to propose and I am a old fashioned guy and a traditionalist I don't break tradition.

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    • slavery, sacrificing virgins , burying loved ones alive , was a tradition too.

      other than it not being traditional, do you have a real problem with it.

    • I just feel it's my job to do it plus I would hate to miss out on seeing my girls face when I get down on one knee it's kind of a special moment and I'm just old fashioned.

  • well in my case she proposed me so it's not about who propose but it should be both side Love and yeah there are girl's who thinks the guy to propose and later what happens is that she don't get the guy.! so it's better not to be late and be true to yourself :)

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  • I'm not into marriage or the theatrics of marriage proposals, but I have no issue with women proposing to a man of that floats their boats.

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  • It almost seems cowardly to me for the guy to not not ask the girl to marry him. I mean if the guy is stronger and is suppose to protect his woman, then you would think he would have the guts to ask her hand in marriage. Right? !

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    • he's not stronger. strength comes in many forms.

    • Strength as in muscles, LOL!!! I will protect my future wife with my big muscular muscles. ;^)

  • I think it would be great , after all it is the new era. If a girl I was so madly in love with asked me. I would love and respect her even more

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  • im not a firm believer of marriage unless you're marrying rich, then all power to you

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  • I don't see a problem with it.

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  • I don't think there's anything wrong with it, its just not done so often ya know?

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What Girls Said 74

  • I proposed to my husband after 5 years of dating. I got tired of waiting, so I did it myself. I figured that if he said no, then at least I had my answer and would end it. it was complete roll reversal... I asked him and he was the one that cried and said 'yes' hahahaha

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  • I actually am the one who proposed. Neither he nor I felt that it wrong. He didn't feel emasculated and i didn't feel like he should've gotten down on one knee. I just simply said her let's get married and he said ok. Been married for almost 10 years.

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  • I just wish society wasn't always so glacially slow when it comes to embracing these things...

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  • I dont know if i want to marry personally, but i absolutely think its great for women to propose. as someone mentioned, you are as much a part of the relationship as the guy PLUS the woman is the who's body gets destroyed and faces complications/ death from pregnancy. she absolutely has a right to go after what she wants.

    imo, its bullshit if a guy really wants to hell ask bc she could ask a split second before he was about to. there's always a moment when you're deciding something. there's no such thing as soon as you think it. anyhow he is free to say no, or not ready.,

    I think its fantastic for women to take the initiative with confidence as often as possible in life. to counteract the all the pseudo 'proof' strictly the opposite behavior is normal natural or appropriate.

    i think its so unhealthy for women to be told things like being brave or enthusiastic or taking initiative is somehow bad or unattractive abnormal or crazy. i think thats disgusting and shows we have a long way to go as far as appreciating the individual spirit of a human being and ourselves collectely as social support system.

    if they both really love each other and want to marry, then either should be ecstatic to be asked, though i think magically mutually discussing it is best.

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    • ... i think if a guy NEEDS to propose, he just likes the feeling of power that comes with making someone his.. if a guy REALLY loves the woman, he will be happy that she loves him and is wanting and willing and offering to marry him.

  • I wish there was an option for it should just be a conversation both have and agree to. No one should just putter around hoping the other will surprise them with a (presumably) lifelong commitment!

    I used to be more forward about paying asking etc... Until I learned that it just made guys think of me as a mom and a placeholder who helped them feel better about themselves so they could go after their real dream girl or whatever. I don't make guys pay but I don't insist on covering everything for them either. No matter what it ends up being I do then wrong thing, so I gave up lol.

    The one man I did want to marry I did want to get me a ring. I don't even like rings and was unsure if I could even wear one with my job and such. Anyway the reason was I wanted some kind of tangible commitment since I had already been the sort of breadwinner in the relationship, AND I also had a secret super awesome engagement present planned for him in return. So to me that's fair; I'm willing to put out the same amount of money or more (the ring I liked was cheaper than his present, actually, but I just classified them both as big gifts and basically equal) to show my intention as well.

    If anyone's read this far I'd love to know your thoughts on more of an exchange of gifts. I know it's kind of materialistic but I do feel like when people spend money on someone they want to validate their expenditures by putting more effort into that investment emotionally. I mean clearly it's easy to write off a needy girl/guy who pays for everything; you don't lose anything by leaving her/him when she's/he's no longer convenient. I'm slow to trust and I think that's smart because most people are full of shit lol

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  • When the time feels right, I'll just ask "wanna get married?"

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  • It's very untraditional.
    I'd feel very awkward doing it (almost like the man in the relationship).

    But why not break tradition and get what I want.
    It would just make me feel a little bit bad because I would think maybe he would
    have never proposed to me if I didn't do it.

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  • A.
    Already know how to do it
    media.offbeatbride.com/.../...ot-of-61-600x336.jpg
    hehe (:

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  • I guess all the power to a girl if she wants to but for me personally I want my boyfriend to propose to me. I am one of those girls who started fantasizing about their marriage in like elementary school and I'm pretty traditional. I want that moment of surprise and excitement. I want to be swept off my feet. :p

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  • Lol, I wouldn't just propose; I'd do video-worthy stunts like pull out placards and wave a hugeass bouquet in his face. :P

    In short, if I'm secure and in love with someone enough to marry them, why not? Might as well make it as memorable and romantic as possible too.

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    • Thank goodness...a women that gets it..you go girl...

    • Lol, thanks! I dunno, it's just; if I ever met someone who sees everything that I am and loves me, then I'd be damn undeserving of them to care about such scruples. (At least, that's how I feel.)

  • I don't understand this ridiculous stereotype of guys having to propose to a girl. Its the same with asking someone out, the guy "always has to". Screw that! If I wanna go out with someone, why should I wait for him? I prefer to lay my feelings out on the table in front of them, whether its marriage or just instigating a relationship in the first place, I won't necessarily wait.

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  • I'm a traditionalist in some aspects and this is one of them. I wanna be chased and I want that moment when he goes down on one knee and pulls that ring out his pocket and asks me to be his wife. And just to stir the pot a little...if i propose does it mean that he will be carrying my name?

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    • Hadn't thought of that, lol
      I will say no, though.

    • Show All
    • would he then wear a dress at the wedding?

    • Most definitely...lol...in my head i want my guy to be the MAN...so yeah if i have to propose to anyone he needs to be prepared to do as i say...and i'm not comfortable with that so by logical reasoning...there will be no proposing on my part

  • I voted B but I asked both my previous boyfriend and current boyfriend out. I think it would be up to the man to propose to me, but that's more personal preference. If I took the step to yes to dating them, then they knew it was serious, and I take steps in a relationship to show that I am serious. I guess for me, in my head I have this believe that it's harder for men to commit (though that's probably very untrue).

    Besides, I'd like to think that me and my partner had talked about it before he popped the question so he probably would already have an idea how I felt about it.

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  • Nothing wrong with it... but I would want him to do it. I think, TYPICALLY, women are more expressive about their feelings in words. I would love for there to be a moment for the guy to have to really say what he feels. But then again, maybe he wouldn't. It could end up being something like... "You. Me. Marry? Yes?" a la caveman.

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  • My boyfriend and I talk about marriage all the time, we both want it, even both joke asking. But it's kind of an unwritten rule with us... He's gonna ask. He's already told me and my friends how he's going to get me a ring (buy a raw stone and get it cut over seas and carry it around with him until he comes home) and he's talked about things he won't do when he asks me. I know he's spent a long time planning it, and he's still planning it. So at this point I'm not gonna take that away from him. He's so excited to ask me.
    I don't know if I would, bringing it up and joking about it is different than actually asking. I think is be too nervous that I wouldn't be able to get the words out :P haha

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  • "It's weird that in our culture for some reason marriage is something thrust upon women. Like boys get to spend six months deciding if they want to get married, but then the girl only has like ten seconds to say yes or no." -John Green

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  • I think it should be left up to the guy. I know that many women want to initiate things in a relationship, but I think we should leave this to the man.

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  • I'd like to think in this day and age that most couples who are in a relationship enough to consider marriage and both parties know where the other is on the matter. I don't think it really matters WHO proposes as long as that conversation has already taken place. I won't lie though, for me personally, there's something sweet about the thought of a dude proposing that I don't want to miss out on.

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  • I have no problem with it, and also think it's extremely adorable!! But personally, I have always wanted a guy to propose to me, so I most likely wouldn't do it. but MAYBE I just might, you never really know. I honestly think it depends on who gets that sudden urge to ask first! it might just be me if I'm with the right guy. sitting watching netflix, eating a pizza suddenly I just can't help but ask! So, pretty much my answer is... I would do this depending on the situation, but currently, i'm still dreaming of being proposed to :D

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  • I did, I don't understand why it's such a big deal. I think guys might get a little upset about it because they may have been planning to do it themselves and may feel like they were robbed of the romantic gesture, but for god's sake, we live in the 21st century - are we really still hung up on shit like this?

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  • I think that saying 'it's the guy's job' is like we're in 1930's and not 2014. If I want to ask him to marry me, I will. If he does, he will.

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  • I think that it is okay for a woman to initiate anything else, but if a man wants you for the rest of his life he WILL ask you. I just don't think a woman should try to wear the pants. I don't mean that we should be under a man, but we definitely shouldn't be the head of the household. Be patient, allow a man to be certain, let HIM ask you.

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    • he will be certain when he says yes. if he's not ready hell say no. whats the problem.

      and one person can't be head if the other person is not under them, you can't have it both ways.

  • Why wouldn't it be okay? While it'd be flattering to have someone ask me, I also wouldn't mind doing the asking myself.

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  • I think my most guys would feel emasculated. I would do it but I know he wouldn't want me to hahah. Not my current boyfriend anyways.

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    • This is total garbage, if ur guy feels emasculated by this, there's something wrong with him… i would love my woman even more if she asks me.

    • He likes the traditional aspects of a relationship. Ex paying for everything, helping me carry things, me taking his name, etc.

    • So yeah I would like to think he would prefer to be the one to propose.

  • Personaly I don't want to ask for his hand in marriage, but that is mostly because i am a bit to shy, not because I think there is something wrong with the lady asking.

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  • I personally wouldn't do it because I don't really want to get married. If I meet someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with then I'll do it, not let a piece of paper define our love. If marriage meant a lot to the guy I was in love with then sure why not. I think if you both are knowingly on the same page about marriage then sure a girl can propose

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  • I don't think it matters, every couple is different. In my case I want my boy friend to propose because I want to be suprised and have that fairy tail moment.. I'm the one who likes to be romanced. But one of my girl friends recently proposed to her man.. She not the type who dreams of the perfect proposal but her boyfriend loves to be romanced ! I think it doesn't matter who proposes as long as it works for both of you guys.. wouldn't want to crush all your boy friends dreams of getting on his knees for you! just make sure it's not important to your boyfriend to be the one who pops the question ! Good luck !

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  • B... But if I felt really strongly about it and knew he did as well, I'd have no problem proposing.

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  • To be honest, I don't really agree with proposal at all. It really depends on what you mean exactly by a proposal too. I think both parties should discuss the idea about marriage, instead of randomly popping the question. Although if they've discussed the idea, I think either person should be allowed to propose!

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  • Nothing wrong with women doing the proposing but it is not romantic anymore if a woman does that.

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