Marriage? Am I ready? Or not? Please help.

I'm a girl so I get stressed easily. (Obviously) My boyfriend is in the military and we've been together for about two years. We plan on getting married next year during the Summer. (He asked both my parents and they are okay with it and they love him) I am a senior this year and plan on going to college right after. I'm not a judgy person, or typically rude under any circumstances.. But I will state facts, one, I am Christian (I'm a PK) and he is atheist. We talked about this before and he's ok with trying to go to church and be open about it and talked about it with future kids etcetc because he does want to believe its just hard for him and I'm there to help him in any way possible if he wants. But there, fact remains. Second, his family is very dysfunctional, lots of fighting between everyone. (Not being rude, twas what I was told by them when I first started dating him) And I really dislike his father and sister due to them being extremely hypocritical and selfish. I honestly dislike them a large amount and if we have kids together wouldn't trust them completely with them.. Even though I don't want too not like them I'm still not fond of them.. I love him, very much.. and he's the only one I trust, and want to spend my life with. Before I was with him I was in a very abusive relationship and dealt with massive shit from that. So he is extremely special and amazing. Him being atheist doesn't change that and it never has. I don't think any less then him because he is open to it. I just.. Want to know if we do get married how that would effect some things. So, please read that the right way. haha I'm also a republican and he is quite Liberal. Before I get married I just want to understand the things that could happen, effecrs etcetc. I guess I just need advice. Thank you very much. <3 (Also I don't believe in religion I believe in one God. So I'm not crazy crazy strict and "all knowing" or whatever. Even if I am a preachers kid.)

  • Nothing wrong go for it.
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  • Slow down, lots more to consider.
    89% (8)100% (2)91% (10)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't get married. This is obviously hard news to hear but no you 100% shouldn't. First off the fact you're asking says a lot , when you marry someone you shouldn't have a doubt in your mind thats true love and I don't think you've found that yet. Second , there are wars created due to fights about religion - no way can you marry someone who doesn't share your views- a jewish person marrying a christian or christian marrying muslim is one thing but a religious person marrying a person who doesn't believe in anything will cause problems. I think you're happy you found someone who is not abusive and you may also be lonely and most military guys marry young because it's difficult for them to be with someone if they don't - if you got married both would be doing it out of convenience and there will be major problems later - break up with him now. in a year, you will be a different person maybe spend this year to figure more about yourself.. if you can't spend time alone and be happy what do you think will happen when he is deployed for months and you're lonely and unhappy?

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    • This makes sense.. Put me to tears, but makes sense. Thank you for being honest, with out being a douche, seriously. Have a lot to think about.

    • You're welcome, if you ever need anyone to talk to I'm here!

What Guys Said 3

  • If you have to ask..,

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    • I agree...if you have to ask this probably means there is more thought you need to put into your decision...if you haven't already...counseling may be something to consider and may help you gain a different perspective

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    • I'm not judging your maturity, don't worry lol

      But you have 50+ years left in life. Don't rush it. Makes sure 100% you're with the right guy before you tie the knot :)

    • Alrighty, thank you good sir!

  • You're a Christian and he's an atheist. Yeah, good luck with that, divorce court will be seeing you two soon.

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  • I think if you're asking this you aren't ready.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I didn't bother reading any of that I got half way through but anyways seeing as your asking the internet if your ready I don't think you are. What I think is you should go to college and then decide after. Things might not work out the way you think they should and your already doubting it now. Don't rush into things your way too young! Marriage is forever remember that!

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  • I would go to college first and then see how you feel.

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  • I understand you completely and was kind of shocked from how much we had in common. I have the same ethics as you and believe In that also but the fact that he isn't makes it harder. I had this one guy and he said the exact Same thing but in my case after a few church visits he gave up and he respected what I believed so I had to respect him and divorcing isn't something id want since I don't Believe in it and as much as I hoped he'd convert he didn't and it caused problems in our lives and it hurt me a lot knowing he didn't share the same principals as me and that he didn't worship The God so yeah it's something REALLY big to consider so please just choose wisely as it might bite you in the ass a few years into the Marriage. I'm sorry I know it's not easy it's very hard but I hope I helped you

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