So I want to know why my boyfriend hasn't purposed to me after 5 years!!?

I'm also the mother of his child.
he always says that 95% of marriages end in divorse blah blah. But he tells me everyday he loves me and would do anything for me and his daughter and works his butt off for us. I just don't understand. HELP


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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 8

  • Think about it logically, from his point of view.

    You guys already have a child together. I'm guessing you live together, spend lots of time together, have lots of sex together? All without a wedding ring?

    So what does he have to gain? He spends hundreds or thousands on a wedding ring, thousands or ten thousand plus maybe on a wedding... for what? A piece of paper? So then if you two decide you don't like each other, then it's off to the nightmare of divorce court?

    He has nothing to gain by officially marrying you, so why would he?

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  • 95% of marriages dont end in divorce in that he's either ignorant or lying. Yal should have been married in the first place but we as humans make mistakes. however it sounds like he is afraid of real commitment and getting right with God. Affirm him as a man of God tell him that all god wants is for him to be like David to humble himself take full responsibility for his sins and then magnify God and thank him for his goodness and mercies. and you can show him i said this not you because I only fear the lord. and I am not judging yal but by righteous judgement as it says in John. his works his stability and his strength will not please God a humble contrite heart will and that will bring him into the spirit of adoption where he can cry out Abba father and god can say by his word THIS is my SON in whom I am well pleased. the three key things he needs to know from God is that he is beloved and the greek word means the special one and the 2nd thing is he is a son and the last and most important when he has a humble heart takes full responsibility and Glorifies God then He is well pleased with him.

    I hope this helps you and hope to hear that he wants to get married show him this and I will be keeping you both in prayer have a blessed day. ;)

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  • because he's not going to. the odds that he does at this point are very low and if it goes 7 years its just basically a statistical improbability

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  • He's wrong about his stat. Probably he won't get married because the incentive for him to do so isn't very high.

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  • He's waiting for a better offer/escape route. That's why.

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  • I never want to get married because the divorce rate is way too high. Besides, women get half of the man's possesion's. I love my stuff and no woman is taking what I have worked for. I'd rather die alone.

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  • Were you aware of his feelings about marriage prior to committing to him, or after?

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  • I honestly don't know if I'd ever want to get married. Even if I was in a super long relationship of 20 years I don't think I really feel the need to get married. I mean, why do it? So on the off chance that she has some horrible secret we have to go through a huge divorce? What does the marriage actually do in addition that our love cannot already do? It's just like taking a hot dog in a bun, with an extra bun around it. Why add a bun for the bun?

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    • There are some definite financial and legal benefits to making it official in the eyes of the state

    • There are also financial disadvantages, especially concerning medical illness. For instance, if my wife were to go into a coma I would be forced to pay medical support for however long. But if we are not married, they can't force me to pay it, so the bill will fall to the state or her when she wakes up.

    • Yea and if she went Into a coma and has said that she never wanted to be like that, you don't have any legal right to do anything about it. You get to sit there and watch her rot away against her wishes. Also, saying this from experiences, if she's sick in the hospital, she has to grant you special permission to be able to see her, or the baby if the baby is sick.

What Girls Said 6

  • no need for marriage when he has everything already.
    1. its been 5 years - if he can get away with it for this long he's thinking he can keep on going
    2. you gave him a child already so its not like he has to be married to you to get that from you.
    3. "You just don't understand" so it sounds like your doing a lot of things to show him your the one for him to marry. Maybe in these moments of proving yourself, your giving him more reason as to why he doesn't need to go to the next level with you. Your giving him so much for not marrying you, what does he get if he does? what else is there?

    I know how u feel, been there! was with my ex for 7 years. learned a hard lesson. I think you should move on. yo both want two different things. If you stay, you are compromising yourself for him. and you get no credit for putting what you want on the back burner for him. if he is making it clear he not going to marry you, he is doing what is write for HIM. i know you have a child and this may want to make you stay but. . you LEAVE a relationship BECAUSE of a child, NOT stay because you have one.

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    • If she leaves who would their child live with? That is something they would have to think about or take to court.

    • Show All
    • Relationships are all about compromising. Not being legally married, and splitting a family up are nowhere near the same level. So what if she makes a compromise and doesn't legally get married. She can still change her last name.(like she said she wanted to) and they can be a happy family.

    • Kittyforlife,
      i understand that relationships are about compromising. from what i gather from her question, she WANTS marriage, changing last name doesn't seem to suffice. I don't see there being a "meet me half way" on that. Some people actually want the whole wedding and walking down the isle thing. there are two things i think people need to be 100 percent on when it comes to relationships: Marriage and children. either you want to be married, or you don't. either you want children or you don't. there is no compromising with that. i just don't see it.

  • my brother proposed to his wife after 4 years of dating. maybe he just isn't ready to fully commit. are you guys financially stable? he might want to wait for that as well

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  • Maybe he dont want to mess up your relationship and get into legal matters later on. Marriage to some people including me is just a piece of paper. The real marriage is about love, honesty, respect and commitment to each other. Nowadays getting married doesn't guarantee a long lasting relationship or fidelity. If you need that to be completely happy than talk to him.

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  • Well he probably sees it as pointless after all you guys seem to be in a better state than most married couples, so he doesn't want to how it is now.

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  • He hates you secretly

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  • Sounds like he's scared of divorce and losing half his stuff to you because if you're gonna break up as gf and bf or man and wife it'll happen no matter what the statistics for the rest of the population is. I hate when misquoted statistics for reasons not to get married because it's like they think that you guys have a 4 per cent chance of staying together all of a sudden because of a piece of paper

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