Guys I made a huge mistake by being intimate before marriage... Would u still marry marry a girl that has?

I have made a mistake of having oral sex and being physically intimate with a guy before marriage that won't be my husband. I'm worried that no guy will want to marry me or be with me now..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would hardly think that's a mistake.
    Unless you live in some backward country where the parents sell virgin daughters for marriage, I don't think there's any problem.
    The logical thing to do is go out and do it a few more times. Don't settle for anyone until you're sure you can have a compatible sex life with him. You'll know that after about 4 years of sex. To do less than that is to risk an unhappy marriage and early divorce.

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    • If virginity is a norm in a country , it's not necessarily backward. Some societies require both men and women to be virgin before marriage. I know it's kind of hypocritical because men usually go away with it and girls can't.

    • In that case, the country is backward and anti-progressive :P

    • Of course it's backward. Look what happens in Pakistan. The men have homosexual sex with underaged street kids, because they can't be seen with a woman in public (unless married to her). It doesn't just make the men pedophiles ;1/2 the time the boys are paid as prostitutes, but at other times are just raped.
      The men will then expect to marry a vigin, like good little boys.

What Guys Said 12

  • Unless he is a religious guy no. Only guys who are very big into their religious beliefs care. I know plenty of girls who have a "big number" and are in happy marriages.

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  • I'm sure there will be plenty of guys that won't mind your sexual history. There will always be others that don't but I think the odds are in your favor. You needn't worry.

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  • newsflash: Unless you're marrying a ridiculously religious person, that doesn't matter. If you've only been "physically intimate"(whatever you mean by that) with only ONE guy, as far as I'm concerned most guys would be ecstatic to hear the girl they want to marry's only been with one guy before them.

    Lisa Sparxxx (pornstar who had a gangbang with 919 guys) got married, so I'm sure you'll be fine.

    P. S. Not encouraging you to get gangbanged by 919 guys, that's probably not the best idea.

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  • Whats to stop you from doing it again after marriage? You should hold the wedding until you figure it out.

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    • I'm not engaged

    • OIC. Whoever you settle with, will view these actions as only practice for the man you'll love.

    • Ever hear of serial monogamy? That describes the sex life of most people, and it's normal.

  • man you messed up your life... nobody will want you now. just kidding XD to be honest, i wouldn´t ever wait to marriage so i´m totally fine with it. i think those guys who want a virgin for a wife at any price are really rare and it´s kind of stupid to be like this (especially if they aren´t even virgins themselfes).

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  • I can't judge a girl cause she gave her self to man before marriage
    i would marry a girl as long as she doesn't have a disease

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  • Sure. Why wouldn't I?

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  • Yes I would because I have been intimate with girls outside of marriage, plus I don't subscribe to this "no sex before marriage" stuff. I respect those who have this belief, but it's not a shared belief on my part.

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  • I mean, it's the 21st century... this isn't half as important as you think it is.

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  • Eh, there are lots of guys who would.

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  • I hope you're kidding right. Quit the religion crap already.

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    • Quit being disrespectful. Religious values can mean a lot to a person even if they mean nothing to you.

  • Well thankfully we are not mammals and do not have sex drives so I would stick to religion at this point.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I can understand how you feel... sometimes I regret having sex with my BF because now I sorta feel stuck with him because he was my first and only guy I've slept with. I read what other people wrote... and yes, it isn't the 1800s... but this really can be a huge deal depending on the culture and religion a person is from. For example, my ethnicity is mostly Lebanese... so if for some reason I don't get married to my BF (who isn't Lebanese) and I decide to marry a Lebanese Muslim guy and he finds out I'm not a virgin I'd be ruined and so would my family... It's a very very big deal in my parent's culture... it scares me to think of what they'd do to me if they found out.

    So I suppose it depends on how your culture views sex before marriage and how important culture is to you... but really all that matters is what you think.
    I personally don't think anything is wrong with premarital sex. I only get worried when I consider how others will view me... and I'm realizing that isn't the best route.

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  • Just be upfront about and when the right guy comes along he will look past it because he loves you :)

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  • Don't worry girl. Your worth is NOT in your sexual behaviour. I hope you don't feel shame in exploring your sexuality

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  • Girl, this is not the 1800s. Having sex does not lower your value as a person. The types of guys who think there's something wrong with you not being a virgin are not the type you want to deal with anyway.

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    • I was planning on posting something but with this opinion here it is absolutely not necessary anymore

    • Show All
    • That's not true at all, I agree with the concept you're saying, but there are a lot of men who save their virginity till marriage (often times for religious reasons) and expect their future wife to do the same. So saying "they're not the type she wants to deal with anyway" is a pretty negative generalization.

      I agree if this guy wants to be a man-hoe and refuses to date a girl who's not a virgin that's ridiculous, but you can't group all men who expect a virgin wife into one category, I'd say a virgin groom expecting a virgin bride or vice-versa is pretty reasonable.

    • Obviously it's different if he's a virgin himself. That kind of goes without saying...

  • "No because even though I'm a guy who has sex with lots of girls my goal is to marry a virgin even though it's a bit hypocritical because I never stop think that after having sex with a virgin she is no longer a virgin"

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  • Lol what century are you living in. That's totally normal, unless your from the Middle East or something idk. But just know not many people wait until marriage before they have sex these days, I highly doubt a guy would care because he surely has too, and if the guy wouldn't want to be with you because if that then you shouldn't marry him because he would probably be too controlling, its your life and it's also 2014

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  • Hah not many guys would care.

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