How long should you wait before bringing up the m word "Marriage"?

Girls how long do you think you should wait before expecting your boyfriend to bring up marriage or at least thinking about it. And if he never brings it up how long would you wait before you bring it up or start considering other options if things didn't work out? Guys how long would it take for you to start thinking about marriage or a long term future with your girlfriend?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1 year minimum before thinking about marriage. I'd bring it up if I wanted to get married, but it would be up to him to ask.

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What Girls Said 4

  • When it feels right it can be as quick as three months into dating.

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  • 1-3 years.

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  • I think when you start thinking about it depends on how old both people are, how emotionally/financially mature they are, etc. I started thinking about it maybe about 2-2.5 years after my bf and I were dating? I started dating my boyfriend when I was 17. However, even though I didn't officially think about it until then, the whole time we were dating, I was checking stuff out with him to see how well he matched up to my idea of ideal husband. I have always believed in dating with a purpose.

    There was one guy I really had the hots for, and he liked me too and told me so on several occasions, but I never actually made that effort to date him, because I knew he wasn't the kind of guy I was looking for as a husband. He was a little too sure of himself, too arrogant, too above it all, too smart about managing his emotions to genuinely care about anyone else unless he knew for sure they cared about him equally or more. I learned a ton from him. We had some great heart-to-hearts, and he made me think about relationships differently (sort of cynically), but practically. But I knew from the start he wasn't for me long term. Nothing but trouble.

    My bf and I have now been together for 5 years. He started slipping in casual things like "after we get married, we should do/go/have XXX". At first it was jokey, but around 3-4 years, he's lost that just kidding wink/tone and says it more matter of factly or doesn't seem to realize it's any more significant than "tomorrow we should go bowling" haha.
    I've made a conscious effort not to say anything like that though, cuz I don't want to be pushy or be one of those girls that keeps nagging about it. I figure, just take it day by day, and at this rate - we'll probably get there eventually :)

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    • PS: neither of us is completely financially independent yet, so we've both peripherally made it clear that we're not looking to actually get married until financial independence is secured and we each have some money saved up. Thus, though we probably will end up marrying each other eventually, we'll likely wait until at least 25 but probably more like 27-29 so that our careers are in order first. So if we're still together then, yay! However, we are each other's firsts bf/gf/kisses and have only dated each other, so we're perfectly aware that a lot can change in that time. Thus, we are perfectly content to wait and be 100% sure that we will be happy together indefinitely :) So far though, things look good *cross fingers*

  • When I met my boyfriend I told him pretty quickly (like hours from meeting) that I was the marrying kind and I only date guys I could potentially see myself marrying. I "date with a purpose" as it were :p

    He and I started officially talking about marriage a year ago I guess. We've been together for three years.

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What Guys Said 0

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