My wife (31) is a mature student at university. She has a male friend (23) who she spends a lot of time with - she tells me that it's study groups, but often times it's just the two of them. Once I found them at a cafe, observed from afar before I said hello, didn't look like they were studying. They were chatting and laughing. Fine, they're allowed to take study breaks. Then she invites this guy to our apartment and he stays until 1 am. She laughs at all his jokes and touches his arm. I know she is flirting. They spend 20-30 hours a week together, that's more than me and her. But when I bring it up, she says I'm being jealous and insecure. Is she playing mind games? I don't understand. Its like she's trying to rub this in my face
Most Helpful Girl
Depending on where you marriage is, for example how long have you been married, do you have children, before college did you feel you had a good marriage and no trust issues before this? All these things play a factor in how she might be feeling as well as you. Have you both been arguing off and on for awhile? I ask these things because it could simply be right now she is less stressed being at school and spending time away from the house then being home. For example no one likes to come home and the first thing their S/O does is start yelling at them "Why are you late?, Why didn't you do this? Where is such and such? etc.. " A lot of people will prolong going home because they know as soon as they walk in that door the fussing will begin and they just do not want to deal with it. This doesn't mean they want to cheat and that though process may never even come into their head. It just means they want to enjoy themselves again. Most women once they turn 30 start to feel like their sex appeal is going away. When a younger person flirts with them they start to feel attractive again, especially if they have had kids.
Depending on what is happening in your home and how your communication level is, this may or may not turn into something more unless you are able to talk to her about it. Not in an accusing way but let her know that you still find her sexy and you value your marriage. Start to date her again, leave notes in her text books for her to find telling her I hope you have a wonderful day in class today, when you come home I have a surprise planned for us. Leave her notes in her car saying something like you were so beautiful this morning while you were sleeping I didn't want to wake but tonight I would like to show you just how beautiful you are to me. See what her reactions are to these. Give her a reason to want to be around you more then someone else. Create situations that leave her excited and can't wait to come home to see what will happen next.0