If you wanted to get married but constantly was messed over and hurt by the opposite sex, when would you stop trying?

If you wanted to get married but constantly was messed over and hurt by the opposite sex, when would you stop trying? I've been married before, loved a few women, in love two times and I am now tired of being messed over and hurt. My last break up was 4 months ago and I am no where near over it. I was in love with her, wanted to marry her and she dumped me because I didn't meet her expectations but she said she was in love with me. I'm thinking I'm done with women. Should I continue?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • All the time you were with that woman a voice was telling you she is not the right one.

    You ignored that voice and now you are suffering because you invested your heart into her.

    My advice, stop investing yourself in unworthy women. Learn to listen to your instincts...

    And further, getting married is not something you just "do" when you feel like it. I tend to believe you are so lonely and desperate you didn't care to acknowledge all of the warning signs that were there. We just don't want to.

    Being lonely and desperate is a sure way to marry a nightmare.

    Instead, work on yourself. Work through the loneliness until you are self sufficient and can live without a mate. A woman can sense a man who is desperate and she will take advantage of that even if she is not aware of it.

    So don't be desperate. Discipline is painful as you deny yourself, but it is the best advice i can give you.

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    • Good advice

    • Thank you, and thank you for Most helpful. I truly wish you the best. The path ahead is difficult... But the end goal is worth it. I wouldn't be the man I am today without God's influence in my life.

What Girls Said 5

  • I don't blame an entire gender for what a handful of people did and/or didn't do to me. IF you keep dating shitty people/getting into shitty relationships you should look at what you're doing. Why do you keep dating shitty people? Why are all of your relationships shitty? If you keep dating different women/different people then the only thing common in all those shitty scenario's is you.

    The reality is, everyone isn't made for dating or companionship.

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  • Hmmmm. Well I divorced my cheating ex 4 years ago. I am in my 2nd serious relationship since. I too pick the wrong people to be in a relationship with. I won't date anyone that reminds me of my ex husband. And somehow I'm always attracted to men that don't think of monogamy like I do.

    Like they will be on dating websites to 'talk' to other people. Or receive pics from old fuckbuddies. I don't think I should have to go into detail about what being faithful means but I'm starting to wonder. If you ask someone to be your girlfriend to me that means I'm going to stop looking elsewhere and just be with you.

    I feel bad for you because I know how you feel. I can take care of myself and don't need a man. But I would like to be in a relationship and grow old with someone.

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    • I can relate. I've been cheated on several times. Sometimes I do think it is me choosing wrong women.

  • Maybe date a low maintenance girl who is not necessarily hot but has an attractive personality if that is what you want. My friend's husband always dated very hot girls who cheated on him and used him he finally set for an obese and average looking girl who treated him well and now they are married.

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  • You could try finding a nice guy to marry. But seriously dude, I have been hurt in every possible way by guys and I still like them; I don't blame the entire gender for some shitty ones.

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    • By not continuing to date, I'm not blaming the entire gender. I'm tired of going through the stuff I continue to go through.

    • So do I but I push on because I know there is someone out there who will treat me right.

  • No. I'm not that much of a wimp.
    I failed at sports, but I keep trying. I failed classes, but I keep going to school. I failed at driving, but I keep doing it. I failed at friendships, but I keep looking for more friend, I failed at family relationships, but I keep reconnecting, I failed at making a garden, but I keep trying.

    If I decide to take being badly hurt as a reason to give up, I may as well never leave my house again.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I will never give up on women, because I know whichever women I have been with don't account for all of them. We're all human, there are some of us who are rotten to the core, others who are lost and some who are very good. I tend to like the ones in between bad and good because contributing improvement is the best way to say I love you.

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    • I see

    • To be honest, I used to feel the same way, I guess when I got educated in philosophy, I kind of figured a few of the structures of phenomenology and human nature. It's kind of fun to take a step back and to say, you know what, it's never over yet. =)

  • If your goal is to get married, giving up is pretty much guaranteeing you won't make your goal.

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