How do you ladies feel about the hyphenating last name vs. taking the last name of your husband subject?

My fiancée has decided to hyphenate her last name when we get married. I originally kind of wanted her to take my last name but it's not really a big deal to me anymore. I'm just wondering what some ladies opinions are on the subject.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I never understood the whole hyphenating thing, I actually think it's pretty ridiculous. Just pick one name and stick with it, honestly. What happens if you have kids with the two last names, and they grow up and marry someone else with two last names? Do they become Firstname Last-Last-Last-Name? lol.

    I understand if a woman wants to keep her maiden name because she has degrees or professional accomplishments with that name, but in that case she should just choose the maiden name over the married name.

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    • There are also a lot of women who feel that giving up their maiden name separates them from their family. That's also crazy. Your name is not what makes you part of your family.

    • I completely agree. You original last name will still be in your name. It becomes your maiden name. Your the first that really shares my view. I mean if she wants to hyphenate I'm ok with that, that's not what's important. But it seems unnecessary to me. Like for my mom it would be the difference between Ramona Lee Weatherford-Lesher or what she made her name Ramona Weatherford Lesher. Her last name is still there just became her middle name

What Girls Said 12

  • Let me tell you how I feel from my perspective. I would keep my last name and hyphenate it, only because I don't want to lose that part of myself completely, but grow on it, you know? It reassures me that I'm still part of my family/keeps me attached to my family, while ALSO gaining a new life partner onto it. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's fine. I think of it this way:
    1) Take the husband's last name and give up the name that attaches you to your family (or makes you feel attached to your family), or...
    2) Keep both names, because now you're a part of TWO families, not leaving yours for another. It's like she wants to grow her family, not switch it. You see what I'm getting at? :)

    She loves you and wants you to help her grow her family. She doesn't want to feel like she's giving up her family.
    I feel this because I feel the same way. I don't want to completely give up the name I was born with, I want to grow onto it. It doesn't mean she isn't sure about you or anything :)

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  • For me I don't know if I could do that seeing as my last name is already hyphenated. It would get a little long depending on what my husbands last name is. I think hyphenating is a good compromise between you both.

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    • I had never thought about that. In the distant future there will be people with like 5 hyphens in their last names lol

  • It's obnoxious

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  • I'm not planning on changing my name at all, it's my name - why would I change it? The most I would do is add both to our children's.

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  • i want to hyphenate out of respect for my father

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  • I'd just take his. I'm not attached to my name and its too long to hyphenate with pretty much anuthing

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  • Id take his last name. Hyphenating is silly in my opinion. Is keep it traditional how it is supposed to be

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  • hyphenating just makes it more difficult.

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  • I like the hyphenated last name because then she hasn't completely lost her original identity.

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  • I'm going to keep my last name

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  • I always thought growing up the man took the woman's name, haha. But I would just take the name, the only reason i would hyphenate would be so people who only know me by my other last name came find me.

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  • I will never take his last name completely. I dont like how it was associated in the past, that the man owned the woman.

    Perhaps hyphenating. Maybe not

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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, it's something becoming increasingly common and if I remember correctly, it happens a LOT in China as well. I think it's the growing independence that women are starting to enjoy as a backdrop of a sort of 'enlightenment' from patriarchal dogmas if you will. I think it's a good thing.

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    • It means she's into you not because she needs your socio-economic power or potential, but she came to you through her own will.

  • I can understand that it's sexist that women are expected to take their husband's names after marriage, but it is also practical, otherwise children would end up with ridiculously long surnames. First generation would have 2, the next 4, then 8, 16 and so on and soon gets quite ridiculous. Taking the husband's name is non-ideal but we can't keep every name from every ancestor.

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