Do you believe that the reason why the majority of the divorces in the US, initiated by women is because they're all in "abusive" relationships or?

because there are much more complicated reasons for the ridiculously high divorce rates in the US?

I ask because I've heard from American men and women saying that the reason why Mexico, along with the rest of the top ten countries with the lowest divorce rates have such low divorce rates is because all of their laws are "prejudice" against women. Really? Coming from a Mexican-American man who's visited Mexico more than 1000 times, I wonder why I've encountered and met several of people in Mexico who are happily divorced and hardly ever hold grudges or dwell on it like several of American ex-couples that I've met? I know my family members (which half of them still live in Mexico) can't speak for everyone in Mexico but nearly all of them are married and happy with who they are and what they have and the same can't be said with majority of American couples based on my own experience. So are some of these same people are gonna say that the reason why divorce rate is so high in the US mainly because women have more freedom and that they're all in abusive relationships?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think abuse is a large part of it. I think Americans just don't take marriage as seriously as they used to. It's become more of a throw-away type of thing. When things aren't going well, or it no longer works for them, then they get divorced.

    When you compare the US to Mexico I can only speculate. I think it reflects a larger picture. I think Americans just have more lofty goals in life. They have an attitude of not being happy with what they have, and always wanting more more more. Mexicans are much more down-to-earth. They are more satisfied with what they have. They place more importance on family than on ambition.

    In the US, in my parents generation they took marriage more seriously. I think they also didn't have such lofty goals about things. I don't think they looked for some perfect idealistic partner in marriage. I think it was more about finding someone compatible and just making it work. They didn't have such high expectations about life, and they didn't have such high expectations about their partner and marriage.

    I could speculate about all kind of things, but those are the first ones that come to mind.

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What Girls Said 5

  • People get divorced for a multitude of reasons.
    -Women leave their husbands because they're lesbians
    -Women leave because of addictions (Either the wife or husband)
    -Women leave because they feel neglected
    -Women leave because they're no longer sexually/emotionally interested in their husbands
    -Women leave because they've changed into a different person with age
    -Women leave because their husband belittles stifles their religious/person/professional/est growth
    -Women leave because they never wanted to be married in the first place
    -Women leave because their husbands cheat
    -Women leave because they're cheating on their husband
    -Women leave because they feel like they've never had a chance to live their own life
    -Women leave because the marriage is unfifilling
    -Women leave because the marriage is an economic drain.
    -Women leave because of the husbands family
    -Women leave because they feel their husbands don't do enough in the marriage

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  • I think it has more to do with the culture than anything. Where my family's from, divorce is still taboo; you married this person for life, and you're supposed to be there for them through thick and thin. If something goes wrong, you work and work at it until your relationship is fixed. Divorce is only an option when one partner's abusive, or there just isn't anything holding you two together.
    These days, it's always "what can you do for me?" and not "what can I do for you." It's the culture of instant gratification, where if we don't get what we want right away, we move on to better things. It's just sad.

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    • The American "culture"(if we even have one) has some notoriety for being materialistic. It's also somewhat a taboo in the Latin culture to divorce for other reasons outside of abuse. Probably because most Latin Europeans and Latin Americans are Catholics. As a Latino guy, I decided to stay single and never take the "dating" route to patiently find the right woman for me. I prefer to build a friendship with a woman to get to know her enough for me to see if she's the right partner for me rather than rushing it and wasting a huge chunk of my life and money on the wrong person. A lot of young American teens, especially in todays era, are now influenced by our media and pressured by our Society to "get some" as soon as possible in order to "fit in", which I think is very stupid.

    • I agree with you completely. It's also because we're constantly being pressured to buy things as status symbols. "You haven't really made it until you've got this latest bag" or "your life is not complete without the latest fast car." So people start to look at marriage that way too; they think that a ring, a house, and a baby before 30 defines whether you won the game of life. But they don't put in the commitment to make it last, and instead treat it like their tech toys, upgrading their spouses like it's the latest iPhone.

  • No I think most people get divorced here just because the relationship isn't working anymore. Also people nowadays are rushing to get married so people realized they didn't like the person as much as they thought

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    • A couple of other men in the US often tell me how marriage laws in the US are "anti-male". If it's true, then I wonder why the dividing property (splitting up your property, depending which of the married couple has more income) law also applies to women and that there are several fathers that have custody over their children? Even though single fathers with custody isn't as common as single mothers with custody, I doubt prejudice against males has much to do with the reason why mothers are more likely to get child custody and more likely because the reasons are very complicated.

  • Could be abuse. Could be just growing apart. Could be meeting other people.

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  • I think the reason is unrealistic expectations.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's a very complicated issue!

    As a side note, the courts are VERY biased against men. This probably has at least a small part to play in divorce stats but it would only be a small piece of the puzzle.

    Physical Intimate partner abuse rates are actually almost identical with a slight lean to women being more likely to abuse their husband. Women are much more likely to perpitrate emotional abuse and more likely to abuse their children.

    As a whole the number of abusive relationships is pretty small and obviously abuse playes a roll in divorce but it is also just a small piece of the puzzle.

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  • It has become acceptable in US society to just 'get a divorce' rather than work on the marriage. Government programs that offer benefits for single moms have replaced the need for men in our society.

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  • It correlates to premarital sex.

    Joan R. Kahn and Kathryn A. London, "Premarital Sex and the Risk of Divorce," Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53 (1991): 845-855.

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  • It has nothing to do with abuse. Men and women that don't have children file for divorce at about the same rate. When men and women do have children, it is almost always the woman that files for divorce. Courts normally side with women when it comes to child custody cases, and men know it. So even if a man is miserable, he can't file for divorce or else he will lose his child.

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    • So it is actually because our laws are "prejudice" against men.

  • A lot of people get divorced because they rushed into the marriage to begin with. People get caught up in the lust of a relationship, start having romantic thoughts about actually being a married couple... all the while real issues that come up between the two still happen regardless of whether or not the people involved are grounded in reality.

    People run into these issues that they either don't care to fix and thus run at the first sign of real trouble, or they are legit deal breakers that they didn't care to slow down and realize existed before they ran headfirst into getting married.

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    • Yup. Pretty much. Americans have the bad reputation of being lazy for a reason and it's the fact that we either always take the quicker and easier ways to solve our solutions or just walk away and let matters get worse.

    • Drive through culture, at it's finest ;)

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