How to fall out of love with a married man?

I have been friends with this guy for four years. We first stated hanging out every weekend because when we met initially, we both were having relationship problems. I'm 29 he's 25. At first I wasn't interested in him but he kept me occupied as I was going through a difficult time with my bf at the time and we turned out being really good friends. We can talk for hours and just have good chemistry. Well he got married a year ago and I'm now single; we recently turned our relationship into a now sexual one. He has an 9 month son. We both say that we're in love and don't want to let go. I know this is morally wrong and I am fighting trying to let it go, it's just really difficult because of the emotional bond. I want him to leave but he always says it's not that easy and ask if I'm going to help with alimony and child support. I feel this is a cop out and that if he really wants to go, he will. I am torn between what my mind KNoWS what I should do and what my heart wants to do. Anyone that has been in this situation, please offer your advice.

Updates:
I forgot to add that he lets me put hickies on him and when I say he's going to get in trouble he says he'll take that risk with me. I'm. I'm confused

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Most Helpful Girl

  • he's a guy with kids no he is not a man if he's sneaking around his wifes back cheating on her and not breaking up or well divorcing her after cheating on her with u he could have done the right thing by owning up to his mistake and being loyal to one of u guys but he isn't and you don't think he may not be doing stuff with his wife and u at the same time sounds like ur looking for committment but you won't get much from a married man and thats the truth if anything he's gonna do whatever i takes to make his wife happy so he doesn't half to deal with child support or her mad at him and if u care about him u will think of his son instead of him cause in order to be with anyone with kids u need to understand the kid will always come first like it should but u need to think about his son and put yourself in his wifes shoes because if u were married u wouldn't want ur husband doing that to u people make mistakes but u gotta learn from this quick before u get into a lot of drama u don't need in your life my moms friend was in this situation she got hurt and eventually got tired of being second and nothing toward his wife and no he wasn't gonna get up and leave when she said leave its not easy and never will be

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What Guys Said 3

  • You do not see the big picture. You may think that what you have is love but what man would not like a woman at home and a hot babe on the side. Him asking you to pay his alimony and child support means that love has nothing to do with his decission about you. If you are willing to pay and offer him more than he is getting now, then you put up or shut up. Remember you are the one providing sex for free and what all men know is that women will pay for sex, love and attention.

    You will only see things if you want to see the truth. The ego and love make you see and belive things that may not exist.

    Good luck,

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  • Close your eyes, take several deep breaths and repeat over and over to yourself "he smells like 'wife vag'"
    Do this once a day until you can literally smell the vag every time you're in the same room with him.

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  • Stop associating with him/talking

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    • Obviously if it was that easy, I would have done it by now. I've tried that. Put him on the block list and then because I miss and want him; unblock him. I am fighting within myself

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm going to give you some tough love.
    First, you need to stop all contact with him. This will be EXTREMELY hard at first. You will want to text him all the time, BUT DO NOT. It will get easier, but cutting out communication is super important.
    Secondly, you must realize THAT YOU ARE NOT HIS FIRST CHOICE. If you were, he would be with you, not his wife. YOU DESERVE WAY BETTER THAN THAT. No matter how much he says he loves you, or how much he does love you, he does love her more.
    I have nothing against you for engaging in this relationship with him, everyone has their own reasons from things, and you are not the one cheating on your spouse. But you must realize that you deserve better than being someone's second choice.
    I'm sorry if this is harsh, but I really know how you feel, and these are the things that have really helped me. You do not need this man to make you happy, you must learn how to be happy on your own!

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    • Thank you

    • He also allows me to put hickeys on his neck. I still don't understand why he would let me do this like he doesn't care.

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