I heard a few on my girl friends talking today and they collectively agreed that if a guy asked for their fathers permission to marry, they would dump him on the spot because they're not an 'object'. I think that is ridiculous. It's the reason I hate feminist crap like that. For me, it's not about her being an object, it's a sign of respect to her father.
Although asking her father would be more traditional, I would be open to asking her parents (both) for permission. Excluding extenuating circumstances (e. g. orphaned), I would ask her at least one of her parents, period. That's just the type of man that I am.
What are your thoughts?
- Ask her father for permission.Vote A
- Ask her parents (mother and father) for permission.Vote B
- Don't ask anyone.Vote C
Most Helpful Girl
Okay so this is one instance where girls will say something they don't necessarily mean, like over-exaggerating to make a point. I doubt very much that your female friends would dump their fiances if they asked their parents permission first. Most people when looking at the situation rationally would understand that their boyfriend is wanting to make a good impression on their family, show respect, so that everyone accepts him. Because in proposing he's becoming a part of that family.
But I understand where your friends are coming from too. The history of that tradition is based on women as objects, marriages being arranged. It's uncomfortable. At least for some women. And to you it might seem like feminist over reaction, but as a guy you don't understand how it can make you feel. Like how it affects your emotions and sense of self. These seemingly harmless traditions or notions tend to treat women like children. It can feel condescending to have someone ask your parents for permission to marry you. Because it's (obviously) not their decision. But look most of the time it depends largely on the girls relationship with her parents, and in particular her father. Which can be a touchy thing with some girls.
Personally I'd prefer asking both parents and making sure it's more about asking to become a part of the family. Cause really that's what it's about.
Because the only person who's answer actually matters should be mine. And the question itself should be for my ears only. I just think that's more romantic, i want to be the only person he'd want to ask.0