I have never met a guy who is faithful. Is it possible for a guy?

Women cheat too, yes. But I have known many girls who have never cheated. I have never met a guy who did not cheat. Even my dad, I suspect, has cheated on my mom, though I don't dare tell her that. It sucks, because I crave a faithful marriage so badly, but I feel that no matter what type of relationship I have, the man will always cheat. Every boyfriend I've had has also cheated on me.

Guys, what's your definition of cheating?
What is the worst you've done while in a relationship, such as flirting, kissing, sex, etc?

Updates:
Thank you everyone for your kind replies and being nonjudgmental.
I'm very thankful that most of the guys were being incredibly mature and respectful.
I'll just ignore the one or two jerks and go with what the nice guys told me. :)
Thanks again!

0|1
6|25

Most Helpful Guy

  • No I've never cheated while in a relationship.
    Worst I've had is one girlfriend thought I liked another girl.
    Girl I had been talking to before my gf and I were together stayed my friend after we got together. She had lingering feelings and flirted and I thought it was ok, because I wasn't going to do anything. And I never did.
    We did end up breaking up because of my friendship with that girl. It was my fault, but I learned a lesson from it all. Either way, I was always loyal.

    0|0
    0|0
    • To be fair to the question, a lot of guys don't cheat in a relationship because other girls aren't after them. It's the guys that other girls will still go after that actually have to practice loyalty

    • Show All
    • You don't think me waiting for sex has anything to do with it?
      That's what I've been told by others, and it was really discouraging.
      Unfortunately, therapists cost money, but.. if I ever get the opportunity, then I will.
      I no longer see a therapist since I moved.

    • Good guys, even average guys don't become abusive because they haven't had sex yet. Bad guys who were already abusive will find an excuse to do it. That's not the reason.

      But yes, you should totally invest some time into that. I think you'll really benefit from that

What Guys Said 24

  • I have never cheated on any of my girlfriend the worst I did was look at p*rn and that made me feel like shit to even do that, I could never see myself cheating on any girlfriend or wife I will ever have, because its so disrespectful. The next girlfriend I have she will have complete faithfulness from me and I'm working on getting rid of the p*rn so I can be faithful in every part of my life to her

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm not sure if p*rn is even considered cheating, and I'm usually pretty harsh with my definition of cheating. It is nice to know you don't cheat though!

    • Show All
    • Your bf hooked up with HIS little sister? :-/ #incest

  • The paradox is... the guys that a sizable amount of girls

    1) desire,

    or

    2) notice (as in he somehow commands attention

    ...

    are the ones that are more likely to cheat.

    There are plenty of other guys that DONT cheat... but they either aren't desirable to said girl, or the guy "blends in" and doesn't command a lot of feminine attention.

    0|2
    0|0
    • Yeah, I could see that.

    • Yes, he did. I have great taste in men. After that, I lost all hope. He claimed sex was nothing to him, but apparently it was everything to him. He was so desperate he'd even do his little sister, who tormented me throughout our relationship.

  • Hi, nice to meet you.

    Now you can say you've met one male who hasn't cheated, albeit not in person. How do I define cheating? Getting physically affectionate with a woman in such a way that if my wife or girlfriend knew about it, she would be hurt. Sex is definitely cheating. Kissing is definitely cheating. Flirting is a bit of a gray area, but I consider it tasteless.

    By the way, I have several friends who never cheated. Come on over to my place and we'll all have dinner (I make great salmon!). That way you can say you met several guys who never cheated.

    Alas, many guys do cheat and that can have very bad consequences to their girlfriends, wives, and the women they cheat with. However, birds of a feather stick together. There's a part of me that wants to say you are hanging with the wrong crowd.

    0|0
    0|0
    • The worst thing I've ever done? I once masturbated while I was thinking of Sonali Bendre.

    • Salmon + faithful guys sounds great! This will happen. :)
      As for the crowd I hangout with... I don't hangout with much of a crowd to be honest. I'm a bit of a "lone wolf". Trust issues. Most guys I meet, I meet on my own.

  • Tons of guys don't cheat.

    0|3
    1|0
    • Wish I could meet them. I don't mean this question disrespectfully which is why I said 'guys that I've met'. But I am so irritated that every single guy I come into contact with is just.. disgusting. Any other person in my situation would probably wonder the same thing.

    • Where are you meeting guys? Cheaters tend to hang around worh other cheaters. Maybe it's just rampant in your social group.

    • I don't typically meet guys within my social group, mostly because I don't have much of a social group. I tend to meet guys on my own. But it's not just that, it's everyone in my family. So.. when every boyfriend I've had + all my family has cheated, it's inevitable for me to think the worst.

  • Dear Anonymous: I have never cheated on my wife in 15 years of marriage though we have had some rocky periods. If you want a man who does not cheat, you need to ask yourself is that "non-cheating" attribute the only characteristic that attracts me. If so, you need to set standards for the men you date. Often times, men who cheat are particularly attractive or handsome. So, perhaps you may want to find a man who, though not a lady-killer, is respectful and likes you as much or more than you like him. It sounds as if you want a man with very high levels of conviction and loyalty. In addition, you need to be attentive to his physical needs and open to him sexually so that he does not seek out adventure. If you treat him like a king and support his dreams, he will not cheat.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Do I have to be completely open to sex right away though? That's my issue. Due to past sexual abuse, I view sex very negatively and have a lot of trust issues. I need someone that is very patient and willing to wait before we have sex.

  • It's a non-quantifiable question because nobody can verify for anyone but himself. I've never had a relationship, but I think if I were in one, knowing how cheating has hurt people I know, I would not cheat. I'm pretty sure my brother has never cheated, but again, it's not something that can be verified. I highly doubt every man cheats.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm sure they don't all cheat either, but it seems like a lot do. A lot that I thought wouldn't.

  • I for one no for a fact that I would never cheat but I am not good with the ladies and therefore am a virgin and no if I lost it I wouldn't cheat then either not me I am as loyal as they come. I don't consider flirting cheating although it does seem dishonest. Any more than that and I probably wouldn't trust them enough to continue seeing them.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Apparently I don't KNOW how to spell though haha

    • See, I consider flirting to be cheating. So I guess this subject also depends on what everyone considers to be cheating, since everyone has a different definition for it. It's probably too much to ask. Thank you for your kind input though.

  • And I've known loads of guys who've never cheated. Your experience isn't everyone's, thankfully. I would say if you even have to ask this question, you have some pretty sexist views and some bitterness. It could be you are scaring the good guys off with this opinion, that and the fact your selection process for guys is obviously awful. Let me guess, you like a bad boy? ;)

    0|0
    0|0
    • Not at all. My type is the nice, nerdy boy (gamer guys?). But I'm very shy, so I do like outgoing guys. I also never say this to any guy. People always tell me I'm one of the most nice and pleasant people they've met. Guys always act nice at first with me, and then they just turn into cheaters or abusive.

    • Sometimes if you resent all the guys you've ever been out with because they cheated, this can subconsciously come across to other people.

      Maybe you were just unlucky, or maybe you were too nice. I know some bad guys would start to take advantage of a girl who was too nice and friendly, I don't want to say needy, but if a bad guy thinks you're needy, he may take advantage.

      If you can't spot the bad guys when you first decide to date, at least try to toughen up and play things a bit cooler- keep the guy on his toes, and if he starts being abusive for just one second, kick him to the curb ;)

    • Being overly nice is just who I am, so.. I'd hate to change. But for my survival, maybe I have to.
      Lately, I only get cheaters mostly. My first boyfriend acted like prince charming at first, he was super nice and polite, and he would stick up for me when i was bullied. Then he just snapped and began abusing me sexually and verbally. Since then, I don't think a guy could possibly abuse me like that again, as now I know the signs and how to handle it. But for some reason, cheating always blindsides me. I thought my last boyfriend was a total keeper.. until I found out he was sleeping with his little sister. I was really upset when I realized my dad was most likely cheating on my mom, too, and then my mom told me that all my aunts and uncles are cheaters, too. Feels like there's no successful marriage.

  • Tons of guys don't cheat.

    Thing is, women are more attracted to savvy, cool, confident, sexy guys. Obviously, right? Which is the type of guy who's more likely to cheat.

    Kinda like, if you only date soldiers, and you've never had a date who wasn't a trained killer. Might be a reason for that!

    1|0
    0|0
    • Haha! I suppose so. Why can't there be a confident, nice, faithful guy?

    • Show All
    • Yeah, I guess I do see what you're saying. I do tend to like colder attitudes, because they show their love through actions rather than words. I prefer actions over words, since talk is cheap. But I guess that in itself is probably setting me up for failure. But I never seem to get that natural chemistry with guys who are different than that.

    • Well, at least you're honest enough to admit it, lol.

      So that's why a lot of guys cheat. Because the men women want, are by nature the men who will cheat. That's why guys learn that it's better to have women swearing at him than calling him "nice" haha

  • I would be faithful to a point id find it acceptable unless i know the girl doesn't want me to go that far. The worst i would probably do is a long hug.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You seem to attract cheaters
    There are billions of good guys, faithful guys, it just happened that you never met any of them

    You are simply out of luck

    0|1
    0|0
    • I have the worst luck in the world. Hopefully my luck will change one day. I just feel so pessimistic about relationships. I also found out all my family members have cheated before, aside from my mom.

    • Show All
    • You seem to be attracting cheaters right? Maybe you need to go and see a psychologist to discuss the issues you have with having an unfaithful parent. We often look to our parents relationship as a blueprint or guideline to what relationships should be like. Any good psychologist will be able to point out that you subconsciously choose men who display characteristics of a cheater. They will be able to help you identify these personality traits in others, and help you to identify a 'good' future partner.

    • @poppykate got my point right

  • Def of cheating is when you have sexual relations I any kind with somebody else. Kissing, touching, even flirting sometimes could be cheating.
    Worst I've done is spend time with a girl that I met, accidentally grew a connection with and kissed. That night I confessed to my gf and broke up with her as nicely as possible. Didn't mean for I to happen, but it did

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for honesty!

    • No problem. Also, I've been in a faithful long distance relationship with that girl for 14 months now

    • Good job! Keep at it!

  • There are BILLIONS men who don't cheat lol. You just have to find the right one. Trust me there are tons of them out there. You've just come across the rotten ones. Don't let them change your view about is because there are a lot of guys who are 100% loyal.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I really hope so. I just feel so pessimistic at this point.

    • Yeah I understand why you would feel that way.

  • How bizzare a question. I have never been unfaithful. Maybe your are looking for guys in places where they troll for hookups instead where they look for ladies. Even when I had a wife who cut me off for months at a time and hated perfectly moral things I loved doing for her I never cheated. Look for a place where men and women value covenants. Many religions value then, Evangelicals, look at Mitt Romney, I would guess committed Catholics do. But then be worthy of that kind of commitment.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Where do you recommend meeting people like that? I've been told church, but... I feel maybe it's a bit bad to go to church for the purpose of meeting a man.

  • If you want ti marry to a faithful guy, find a guy that you know he is really weaks with girls.
    That kinda guy that will keep his relstionship with his girl till death. He knows he won't get any other girl because of his shyness and weakness.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Probably u look for the good looking guy who is sweet and all nice at the beggining.. And treats u like a princess..

    There are guys who actually will respectyou enough to tell u, "u know i just want sex" and "u know, i wanna get to know better, be serious" and show it to you with actions..

    There are a bunch of guy who dont cheat.. myself included, its something repulsive to do.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Good-looking.. not at all. In fact, most people can't believe some of the toads I date. It's because I don't look for that in a relationship. I mainly look at personality. I do look for a guy who is sweet and nice. But like you said, it's only in the beginning. They cheat and become abusive and just blah. I've had very bad luck. I'd honestly respect a guy more if he flat out told me "I only want you for sex."

    • I know what you mean hun..

      Haha toads lol..

      Yeah, when it comes to fool arround.. i always think its better to just be honest. Otherwise someone always gets hurt!

  • seems like you will get a man whose personality mirrors your dad's. you are attracted to cheaters lol

    0|0
    0|0
    • God I hope not.

    • Show All
    • I look for outgoing guys usually. But I think I told someone else here, I like nerdy boys, which are stereotyped as being the nice guys. My dad is very charismatic. That's the only similarity I can think of.

    • I was very outgoing in the past, most my friends were players. I usually just get some flirts when alone but with my cheater friend the attention I normaly get goes away

  • Im all dat u ever wanted hunny.. but to be serious, i believe religious guys comes to mind.

    0|0
    0|0
  • How long did it take you to meet every guy in the world?

    1|1
    1|0
    • Pretty sure I explained I haven't and I understand that. Nice try though.

    • Show All
    • Your photograph and attitude say otherwise. Please go get your head checked sweetie.

    • I wish I was that kid in the pic

  • It's a common fact that women are more likely to cheat than men.

    Also most people are as loyal as their options.

    0|0
    1|0
    • As loyal as their options? What do you mean?
      I don't think it's a common fact, as a fact must be proven. Do you have any proof?
      I do agree that people in general cheat, both men and women. In my lifetime, I just see more faithful women, and less men. We also probably hold gender bias though, too.

    • Show All
    • Well that's good that you'd never cheat or abuse. I don't mind guys who are rough around the edges, as long as they don't cheat or abuse. I prefer guys with colder attitudes typically because they show their love through actions rather than words. Talk is cheap.

    • I'm quite cold and fit your description rather majestically imo.

  • a shy Asian guy is your best bet

    0|0
    0|1
    • I hear it is in the Asian culture to cheat. I don't know for sure though.

    • the chances are low

  • In my lifetime I have been aware of a lot of cheating, and it has been predominantly women who did it. I hate this inaccurate stereotype that women like you perpetuate.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I guess we all experience life differently.

    • Show All
    • Thank you for exposing yourself for the sexist hypocrite that you are.

      Ciao.

    • Ouch your opinion of me hurts so much. Who am I going to believe... everyone who has actually met, knows me and thinks I'm an amazing person? Or the one little boy hiding behind the internet screen taking jabs for his hurt ego? Hmm... gee, I wonder.

  • When I was with my ex...

    About 1.5 years into the relationship, she wanted to get into an open relationship. I agreed, both out of trust and out of naivety, that it would be for the purpose of dating (we were each others' first gf/bf). Two months later, I found myself in a situation with a girl from my dorm in college coming onto me pretty strong (and as icing on the cake, it was the middle of the night between her birthday and mine). Perfect opportunity- casual sex, wouldn't actually be cheating due to open relationship, 2 person birthday sex, and relationship with my GF was starting to wane.

    I ended up turning her down because I loved my girl, and I wished I could spend my birthday with her. We ended up breaking up less than 2 months later because she didn't want to be tied down going into college. As I also found out, "open relationship" wasn't for dating other guys, but rather just making out with other guys, and doing things like feeling up the muscles of her fit male friends. It wasn't cheating, but it does go to demonstrate that trust can easily be misplaced.

    Yes, there are guys who will remain faithful, even in the face of temptation. I am one of them.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's very nice. You sound like a cool guy!

  • my woman must belong me !
    If she does it, then i can not notice others.. Even I would..

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 6

  • Reading about your past abuse makes my heart hurt for you. I'm no expert by any means; it sounds like your past hurts and failed relationships have given you some deep self esteem, self worth issues. Right?

    How long between relationships? Are you allowing yourself time to heal emotionally? Sounds like because you feel worthless that you settle for almost any a$$whole who pays attention. Right? These untrustworthy creepers are just there to use and abuse you at will. They're nothing but users for their own pleasure at your expense, spitting you out like an old price of gum.

    You're probably going to end up seeking out someone who can talk you through your pain. That person could be a mental health professional, a minister or another who has been trained to counsel those going through emotional pain. There's nothing wrong with seeking mental health help. If you broke your leg you'd seek medical assistance and get it fixed; someone has broken you emotionally. Please help yourself out of your predicament.

    FYI I don't find my boyfriend / future husband untrustworthy at all. In fact I trust him with everything. In spite of my younger age (almost 18) I have witnessed an aunt living with an alcoholic abusive husband, she was so beaten emotionally that she couldn't leave. I don't want to imagine all that she's been through. My Dad, uncle and another aunt literally had to rescue her while the abuser was gone. Even then she didn't want to leave! (?) Two years later, still in counseling she's barely able to look another person in the eye. She is finally free from the physical and emotional abuse, I'm finding a sweet person in her I never knew.

    Sorry for the longwinded answer, your situation hurts my heart deeply for you. Please Honey, help yourself. You're worth it!

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks so much for the kind reply!
      I settle physically. Physically, my relationships are undesirable.
      Personality-wise, I think they're great guys at first. Then they just snap suddenly. I'm not sure what it is.
      I do think I'll probably have to seek professional help if I ever get the opportunity. It's expensive though.

    • Most pastors wouldn't charge you anything. They will turn you on to either a counselor or mental health professional who won't charge you either. My aunt started that way, she was penniless when she was rescued out of her situation. The pastor she first talked to sent her to a professional, she's now working with that pastor in a group setting. There is help out there, do it!

      My aunt is in her early forties, poor thing looked like she was 15 years older than she was. Stress ages you. She told me once she was glad they never had kids, she couldn't pass that on to them.

  • I will be slated for this opinion but its my view and i have a right to say it, i do believe all men would cheat, but not all me will, what i mean by that is, all men would cheat if they knew they could get away with it, and if the chance arose, the men that tell u they won't cheat, ask them this, if they were married and somehow ended up up on a deserted island with another woman just the two of them, would he cheat on his wife, watch all thir excuses come pouring in or lies

    3|0
    1|2
  • Idk. I'm 30 and never met a guy who didn't cheat, including my father, although he's been a great father, but not the best husband. This is a deep subject, so many excuses of to 'why men cheat.' 1) Men crave sexual "variety." They’ve evolved the desire to be with different women. Their excuse: -She ain’t what she used to be; She just doesn’t “get” me. Men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate. But it’s not always the woman. Mostly they’re either angry or afraid to connect. It’s easier for men to go outside the relationship than work it out with their partner. 2) It's the drill. Most guys who have affairs like to play with fire. It adds a level of danger, I guess... For most guys, sex and love are two entirely different things, so from their point of view they're not cheating, so many reasons and too many excuses of to why men cheat.

    0|0
    0|1
  • I have had one guy physically cheat on me and another emotionally cheat as far as I know. Not all guys do though, if they are respectable and have morals and LOVE you then you have nothing to worry about.

    0|1
    0|0
  • After reading your little conversation with MH, may I ask do you always go for the smooth talkers? Guys who say romantic stuff, maybe do romantic stuff too? Guys who tell you things you thought only characters from movies would say?

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are meeting the wrong men.

    0|3
    0|0
Loading...