Is it appropriate to spend time alone with the opposite sex friends if you are married?

And not in a group, but just two people spending time with each other.

Updates:
And I mean actively seeking to spend time with this person, not someone like coworker

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as intentions are pure then I don't see any problem. I have a group of guys I shoot pool league with and my husband is ok with this. He knows he can trust me. I've invited him to come with any time he wants to. He has met and become friends with my guy friend who introduced me to the team to begin with. Even tried to hook my guy friend up with his single sister :) So ya, I feel totally comfortable having lunch or whatever with said guy friend, I have no reason to feel guilty or hide our friendship from my husband and it makes me really happy that the two of them are developing a friendship of their own :)

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    • Well would you spend one on one time with a male friend you know has romantic feelings for you being married?

    • To respond to your follow up question, no, I would not hang out with someone alone that I knew had romantic feelings for me. I wouldn't like it if my husband did that (and he never would) so I would not do that to him. If you have romantic feelings for me, are you really my friend anyway?

What Girls Said 2

  • As much as you would want things to just Remain 'Friends,' there is no guarantee, no rule of thumb even, however the test of time is the Only thing That-----Remains to be seen.
    I don't find it 'Appropriate,' it always looks shady to whoever would see it. And whether it is done in front or in back of your soul mates "back,' it is in the category of cheating. With feeling even the Need in 'Spending time' with another, even if it doesn't amount to Anything but friends till the end, it's a slap in the other half's face And Fact----That something is missing somewhere with their soul mate that they cannot get to home. And I am not referring to being a cold duck in the sack.
    If that's the case, maybe That time you feel is Well Spent with this One, should be 'Spent' repairing your own relationship that could eventually go dead in the water. xx

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  • If it's just friendship and there is no attraction on either part, then yes. As long as your partners are comfortable with it.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think it all depends on what activities you're engaging in. A movie, or lunch would be fine.

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  • Yes, there is no reason why it wouldn't be. it's not spending time, but what you do while spending time with respect to how you and your spouse have determined you are going to live your relationship.

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  • No no and no. I lost a 30 year marriage this way as my wife had a 'friend'. My wife now regrets what happened, but what is done is done and can't be undone. The entire extended family is now hurting, divorce and all is lost. This marriage thing is stability and not a game to be played with the lives of other people.

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    • Wow, thanks for sharing, that must have been painful

    • Realise that some people are not strong enough to deal with temptation. Yes, it was painful but I believe more painful for my adult daughters now the family unit is destroyed. I would say for me it was difficult to deal with and without help I would have gone under or insane. But, what does not kill you makes you stronger, but does not cure loneliness.
      Don't play with your most valuable living environment.

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