Want to elope when I turn 18 with my boyfriend but don't know what to do?

I'm 17 and about to turn 18 in 94 days. My boyfriend is 20 and we've been together for two and a half years. We were texting each other one day and he asked me "can we get eloped" I said yes because I know he is sincere about it and he's been bugging me about it before our second year anniversary. I am kind of excited, nervous and worried at the same time. Should we take premarital counseling before we say the vows or figure it out ourselves?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Elope (definition) : run away secretly in order to get married, especially without parental consent. at 18 you don't need parental consent. I honestly believe marriage at that age is too early, you still don't know who you really are or what you really want out of life, you haven't had the time to figure it out. in my opinion it's best to wait and mature a little more, go to college, etc.. but if you do decide to get married, don't worry about eloping, you'llbe 18 andyour parents can't say or do a thing about it at that point. premarital counseling would really take away the idea of eloping, b/c it's no longer a secret, but yes it woudl be a good idea if you decide that'swhat you realy want.

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    • by the way my statement applies to me too lol, I'm 21 and I'm just now figuring out what I really want.

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    • Well I'm glad to hear that, it was my goal. :) I never like to tell someone "YOU SHOLD DO THIS/THAT", it never works and doesn't allow the person to think for themselves. Rather, I like to plant multiple seeds (the seeds being ideas/different persepectives), and allow that person to choose one seed grows. Best of luck with your situation. :)

    • Thank you kind sir :)

What Guys Said 5

  • You are awful young to get married. Have you talked about long term issues with him such as finances, having children, no more dating other people etc. I would suggest some counseling. What do your parents think or don't they know. How is your sex life with him? How often are you haveing sex (if any) with him? Does he make you happy? Give you great orgasms?

    Is your current relationship more physical or is it true love? Do you have plans to go to school/college after high school?

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    • We've talked all about the important things that you've listed and neither one of us really like children because we really can't travel anywhere. My mom doesn't know about this because I don't want her to know pretty much, it's harder for me to talk to her since she has this bipolar guy hanging around in our house every day. Our sex life is really well, we have sex around 6 times a day, he really does make me happy, there's always a smile on my face when I see him and I always get "butterflies" even though we have been together for two years. Yes he gives me great orgasms obviously. It's actually true love, nothing physical because I'm not with him every day. I do plan on going to college, I pretty much know what I want to do and what colleges that help me achieve my goals.

  • So... He proposed via text message?

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    • He lives two hours away from me and it was at 11:30pm. I guess you can say that.

  • young love at its finest dont you say? hun, this is just a temporary mentality. A phase in a young girls life. You dont want to do this believe me. At least your future self wont.

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  • Take a trip to vegas...

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What Girls Said 2

  • He asked through text? Hell no.

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  • I don't think it's a good idea for you to elope at 18.
    If I would have gotten married last year I would have just hated my life (and I dated my ex for 4 years so it's not like I'd be marrying some random guy).

    Why can't you tell your parents about you wanting to get married?

    I feel like you should probably move in with him and "play house" for a year when you turn 18 and see if you still want to marry him by the end of that year. If you do, then elope, if you don't then don't.

    You're going to go through a lot of changes mentally and physically in the next year and probably become a total different person than you are now (I know I did) and he may not fit into your future lifestyle. Plus, if you really think about it there's almost no difference between living together and playing house and actually being married anyway. If he's the one than he'll still be the one in a year's time.

    I think that you should go ahead and take premarital counseling, but also plan on moving in together instead of getting married. Trust me being with someone 24/7 or even 18/5 is a whole lot different from dating them in high school.

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    • My mom add so much stress to my life especially when she has this guy hanging around every single day 24/7. It's like a never ending nightmare and I've been staying with him and his family for months on end when I get chances to like summer break, Thanksgiving break, weekends, sometimes holidays and things like that and his parents aren't really bugging us and it feels like we have the whole entire house to ourselves. I don't know, I'll put money aside for premarital counseling and see where it goes from there. :)

    • Still you shouldn't use your boyfriend to run away from home. Trust me I know home life can suck, but don't rush into another sucky relationship just because you think it's better than the sucky relationship with your mom.
      Like I said you two should get your own place (away from his parents and yours) and live there for a year. That marriage license isn't going anywhere and then you two will really get the chance to be together 24/7 one on one no interruptions.

      I'd get counseling too, but I just don't want you to go through an undue divorce you know? It just makes more sense and is less stressful to have to move out from his place if it doesn't work out than it does to have to get divorced

    • No offense, but if you're having sex "6 times a day" you're not in love. You're still in lust. Like I said I really think you should give it some time, but I guess you're grown you'll see what I mean in like 2 years.

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