How do I get my wife to understand that I need to be dominated?

How do i get my wife to understand that i need to be dominated


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. Tell her
    or... if that defeats the purpose in a way because to do so requires a bit of dominance on your part, you could in a playfully way (or in some way that she won't confuse with just starting an argument) tease her by saying no (even when you mean yes), and maybe challenge her a bit when she tries to get her way, like "what makes you think ill let you do that?" etc. I know at first its probably not the banter you ideally want maybe because the I dare you sort of attitude of challenging her like that seems like you are struggling to overpower her. But you're really not doing that so long as you maintain enough restraint to submit before she does. What it does do though is set up a context in which I think most people naturally respond to by trying to prove they can. As when ur a kid a someone on the playground tells you you can't play in their game or that you dont know how to do something. The usual response (even if its not true is), "Yes I can" or "yes I do". In other words if you can think of how to hit a nerve in your wife to provoke that "I told you so", "we'll see about that" kind of attitude in your wife, she might very well naturally try to dominate you without you having to say it outright. Then when you guys are done you can comment to her how that was fun and you liked it. And most women will be flattered and feel good about themselves when their man shows she satisfies him, and will probably embrace the S&M-esque power dynamic, even grow to like it in her own way.

    just as an aside though, I wouldn't discount that you might like to be the one in control yourself. Many sociology scholars who have studied the dynamics of sex and s&m influenced sexual interaction point out that ultimately it is the "slave" not the "master" who is really in control of that situation. As we are thinking from within the context of consensual sex as opposed to rape or some sort of criminal sexual act against someones will, it is the one who submits who

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    • establishes the limits and boundaries of what is permissible and what is not. The master may physically and verbally overpower in their interactions, but it is the submissive who utilizes the power of their chosen "safe word", should the master's dominance begin to go too far for his/her liking. An analogy: In the game of simon says, simon might say touch your nose. But the one who touches his nose is the more powerful player and always wins in a sense, since despite that the object of the game is to do as Simon says, our implicit ability to not do as Simon says means that whether we choose to touch our nose or not, we are the ones in control. Simon, contrary to how he appears in front of us is actually at the mercy of every other player, and in effect the weakest --albeit nonetheless a valuable and necessary player in the game.

What Girls Said 3

  • You have a little penis.

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  • start small, talk about fetishes then venture into light activities. Try to make it sound like a positive experience for the both of you. If she's really not into it there is nothing you can do

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  • In terms of sexually or in terms that you want her to make things more of a challenge for you in the relationship? Clarity is needed...

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What Guys Said 1

  • Just tell her what you want her to do.

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