I know a girl who was just assaulted by her husband. I have known her for years and this isn't the first time she has been in a physically violent relationship. not trying to judge, I just want to understand why this happens. not a lot of people know about it, but I was really shocked to find out because they seemed really happy
Most Helpful Girl
Abusive people aren't abusive from the beginning. They kinda lure you into it.
My best friend had an abusive boyfriend. He was cool at first, but then it slowly became a Rapanzel like situation where he wouldn't let her leave the house AT ALL and if she did then he'd ALWAYS have to come with her. Like.. complete lock down. He thought she was cheating on him with me and my other best friend (both female) and any other person she came in contact with so he wouldn't let her go. I also suspect that he prevented her from using birth control (because he suddenly "wanted" a baby which is really out of character for her and we were only 18 at the time), but yeah.. it doesn't happen in one day.
They're really nice at first and take you out on dates and be friendly with all of your friends and everything. THEN, they test the waters to see how you'll respond by saying something like "I don't want you to wear that" to see if they can control you, then I don't want you to wear that turns into you're not ALLOWED to wear that, then you're not allowed to wear that turns into you're not allowed to go out.
Then when they have you away from your family and friends and everyone you love and trust they can attempt to hit you just once. Usually they apologize after the first time and the girl is like "oh it was only 1 time" then, 1 time turns into 2, then it becomes a regular thing of you coming home straight from work, getting beat, going back to work not allowed to go anywhere in town by yourself or contact anyone for help.
I think it really is a game for most abusers. They want to see how much they can get away with without getting called out on it and by the time they DO get called out on it it's usually far too late. It's about control mind, body and soul. Abusive role models don't help girls either. Look at how many girls like Twilig
ht, The Great Gatsby, Wuthering Heights all very bad abusive relationships!
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