How to keep a guy without getting married too fast?

I love my boyfriend and have for three years now, we both are still young (21) and want some years to live our life like young adults. I don't know anyone that gets me and loves me as much as he do. He is the perfect guy, and I couldn't see myself with anyone else.

My problem is that I keep on stressing with the though of not being married to him, or doing it too late will make him break up with me and find another one to marry. It really kills me. It's like I want to rush everything... I am getting crazy.

How can I keep him? If you were in this position, what would you do? and to guys: If you love a girl, and after three years she was the same girl, would you think about marriage?

He says himself he could get engaged 3 years from now, but 3 years seems so far away right now


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like you really just need to sit down with your boyfriend and have a heart to heart with him. Tell him how you feel. Maybe you two should draw out a timeline on where you see yourselves in 2, 5, 10, 15, and 30 years from now.

    There's nothing wrong with having the marriage TALK when you're young. I think it's a great idea actually. I'm 19 and I've had the talk with my boyfriend. Neither one of us are ready to get married yet, but when we're 21-24 we're going to see how we feel about setting up an engagement.

    You seem to be worrying about nothing. When do YOU want to get engaged? It honestly doesn't sound like you're ready yet to me so maybe waiting is a good idea for you both. If 3 years is too long of a wait for you then talk to him about it. When do you want to be married? Do you want to buy a house together? If so when? Do you want kids? If so when? There's nothing wrong with going ahead and having all of these talks with him now just because you talk about it doesn't mean it's going to happen tomorrow.

    He's been with you for 3 years. He's not just going to up and leave

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What Guys Said 1

  • be patient. you don't need to worry he's going to run away if he never mentions marriage. I'm not sure what you want though. You're worried that if you don't marry him soon but don't necessarily want to get married... but then when he says he's ok waiting you think it's too far away?

    what do you want? explain your thoughts and feelings to him. tell him you aren't saying your feelings HAVE TO BE, but that you want him to know where you are at and how you feel the same way he's expressed that he think 3 years may be the point when he's ready to get married.

    You are young still so you do have time and don't have to rush to any decisions... trust me

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What Girls Said 1

  • You're really pressuring you for nothing. I've been with my boyfriend for less time than you but we don't plan on getting married for now. How do I "keep' it? We just live our relationship live every couple. We live together, plan things together, do regular things that couples do. We are like a regular couple and don't need a paper to prove it. We'll probably get married one day but we're not in a hurry. As for kids, you have plenty of time, those kind of things can wait.
    When he says three years, it's not that much and he's probably just thinking that he wants to be older. Also a marriage is quite expensive.

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