Getting married, and asking for a prenuptial agreement?

As of recently, my Uncles health started gong down hill , and looks as if he may not make it beyond the next year or so. That being said, since he does not have any remaining family members alive; except for my father (his brother), and myself. He has decided to divide his entire lifes savings between the both of us. Grateful that he is doing so. My father suggested to myself that my current fiance, and I get a prenuptial agreement arranged before the wedding.
I've hardly considered one before, but with my uncle leaving me a substantial amount of money, and my father stating that all of his estates will be inherited by me for when he passes. That leaves me with enough money to basically not have to work for the remainder of my life.
Last night, my father and I talked quite a bit about why I should get a prenup. I myself see a prenup as stating that I do not trust my bride to be. Though my fathers opinion differed from my own about getting one. I'm wondering if any women out there don't believe in a prenup, or would it highly offend you if asked for one?
I very much love my fiance, and would do anything for her, and her to I. However, money can change people quite a bit, and with us both never being wealthy growing up. I'm starting to consider getting one, but wondering. 1. Would I be in the wrong for asking for one from a relationship standpoint. 2. How would I go upon the idea of asking for one without hurting her emotionally?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would have absolutely no problem in getting a prenup, however, if I was expected to not work and raise children I would want some compensation for not being able to earn my own money if we broke up. If we're together and you're providing then that's different.

    Anyway, I would probably bring the subject up myself if I knew you were inheriting a large amount of money and we were engaged. It would make me very anxious that family and friends would expect the worst and although I don't generally care what others think about me, when it comes to people questioning my love for my partner I like to make things crystal clear.

    I'm sure she will have no issues with a prenup if you don't make out you think she's going to steal it and you discuss childcare and career sacrifices. I think that's only fair.

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What Girls Said 5

  • There is no way to broach that subject with her without hurting her. So just do it.

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  • Definitely get the prenup. You don't know what the future holds. At the moment you do love and care about her and she may feel the same way about you. That doesn't mean that things won't change. Money does change people sometimes for the better though most of the time it's for the worse. Getting the prenup doesn't mean you love her any less. If she genuinely cares about you, she'll understand where you're coming from. It's a sensitive topic but you need to bring it up for your own sake.

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  • I wouldn't get one. That to me is like planning on the marriage failing. When I get married, divorce will never be an option with me. So I just don't agree with that.

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    • I agree, and sadly we live in an age of where divorce is as common as finding a penny on the floor. Though, I don't see myself, and my fiance ever getting divorced. It's just the idea of what money might do to the relationship. Guess I need to have more faith my relationship. :)

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    • Well it sounds like your head is in the right place. I understand where you're coming from, I'm not materialistic either and yes, money can make people do crazy shit. Have you discussed this with her?

    • I've yet to sit down with her as of yet, and talk about it. Though, I'm plan on mentioning it briefly as a what if scenario at dinner tonight.

  • To me whats the point of marriage if u want a pre-nup if u don't trust her don't marry her. Its very hurtful there is no nice way to say u want a pre- nup honestly. U could always choose to live out your life like us normal folk and still get married w/o the money and she would never know and the problem would be solved or u can make sure she is a woman of simple pleasures ex. I personally don't care about money like that give me small town peace and a comfy quaint home anyday, bt if u got a high maintenance woman I would definitely think twice about a pre-nup. tbh bt I basically think it depends on the type of woman she is, And the type of man you are do u care more about finances than your fiancee?

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  • I'd get one. I strongly believe in them.

    In the military there's this clause to where if you're married for more than 20 years your spouse gets half your retirement pay. My dad stayed with my mom for 19.5 years before he left her JUST so he could get that pay (their marriage was over loonngg before.. actually when they got married my dad still had a girlfriend, but that's a story for another day)

    Anyway, it's always good to get a prenup. It's hard to know what kind of person you're marrying until it's too late.

    I've already talked to my boyfriend about wanting a prenup though (we aren't engaged yet, but plan on getting married when we're older).

    I don't know I'd just tell your fiance that money makes people crazy and that if things turn sour you'd rather have everything written out before. To me a prenup is no different than saying "hey, if we break up who's gonna keep the apartment?" (which is another talk I've had with my boyfriend). It's not planning on you breaking up but IF it does happen you'll be prepared and there will be a lot less arguing and messiness

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What Guys Said 2

  • You're going to have to bring it up.

    Basically you can tell her that's what yours is hers. But your uncles money isn't exactly 'yours'. It's family money entrusted to you. Assuming you two have kids they will benefit. But you need to basically set up a prenup expressing that.

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  • 50% of marriages end in divorce. Flip a coin, and you could lose half (or more!) of your inheritance.

    Get a prenup, a thousand times over. Yes, she's important to your life. But ultimately, you and you alone are responsible for you own well-being.

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