Why should a guy get married anymore?

Why should a guy get married anymore? I don't see a good reason anymore given the way women treat men. And this is from someone who has been happily married for 28 years. Today is different. It is a bad deal for a guy. I just read a bunch of posts from people claiming it is molestation for a guy to touch his sleeping wife. Granted, I wouldn't do it the way that guy did, but they are married. Feminazis are everywhere. I have a friend who lost his house, money and rights to their kids because she wanted something different and then filed untrue charges against him to terminate his visitation rights. He pays her alimony and she has a Master degree but he has a BS. Why bother anymore. Just knock someone up and go on with your life if you are a guy, or just don't bother with kids at all. It is a bullcrap proposition anymore.

  • Marriage is a bad deal for a guy
    11% (4)76% (37)49% (41)Vote
  • Marriage is a great deal for a guy
    89% (31)24% (12)51% (43)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
As my son says, by quoting a movie, "the only winning move is not to play at all". He is right.
I think the poll says it all, the vast majority of the guys say it is a bad deal. Conversely the vast majority of the women want to think that it is a great deal for the guy. Obviously a major disconnect.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I totally agree with you bro. NEVER getting married

    Women can go fuck themselves. Literally.

    Seen too many good men ruined

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    • I agree. I just thought my sin was being ridiculous. I honestly had no idea just how npbad it has become. My nephew, who just hog out of the Airborne, and is a straight up great guy that I respect immensly was the first person I heard say that the Feminazis ruined marriage. I had no idea what he was talking about. Now as I get a look at what young women think, I get it. No way can. In good coceinev recommend this as a good course to take anymore. Statistically speaking my sons would be miserable. I want grandchildren but not with this risk. Let him have a child out of wedlock. Even that sounds old fashioned because it is ( out of wedlock). I told him I would pay the child support.

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    • @Cómoestás A mí tampoco :/

    • I don't hate women. I said they can go fuck themselves

What Girls Said 22

  • Yea, you're right. My mother was married to my father. She worked, and he'd take her money. He would beat her in front of us (their children). He even almost stabbed her to death in front of me when I was 3. He constantly cheated her. She would forgive him cuz they had 9 kids together and my mama really loved him. But he would always get drunk and cheat, or beat the crap out of us and her, or just plain verbally abuse us. He was also very insecure, so he'd make her quit her job, or get us kicked out from apartment to apartment.
    It is molesting if he touches her in her sleep. My mama said there were many times where my dad would force her to have sex with him. Or he'd plainly force himself on her. But our culture states "if husband wants sex, you must give him sex." It's called respecting your partner, being married does not mean they HAVE to give you sex. And when she refused, he'd cheat and say it's cuz "she didn't fulfill her wifely duties" -_-
    She wanted to leave him so bad, but since my family is ultra Catholic, they shunned the thought of her divorcing him. And no one offered her help, I'm not talking about financial, just family moral support.
    Oh, I'm sorry. I guess it sucks for guys to hear nowadays that women get the shit end of the stick in marriages too? This is marriage in the states. Not in Mexico.

    Even with seeing how bad marriages can be for either side, I still want not a marriage, but life long commitment. If he wants to get married, fine. But it's not a requirement for me. As long as we're in agreement that we will be monogamous and loyal to each other, always support and try not hurt one another, all those cliche wedding vows.

    Or perhaps I will remain a crazy cat lady seeing as some (NOT ALL) men love to complain about every fucking thing.

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    • Sorry about your mom, really. Marriage is dead as a concept. This generation doesn't know what it is. Life gores on and things change. I need to look after my sons so they don't make a mistake. You look after you r family and friends for the same. Marriage doesn't work anymore so it is best not to pretend it does.

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    • @koko124 my mother was attracted to my dad. But my dad was a man of many vices. He was an alcoholic. He was a drug addict. And he was a sex addict. This all happened AFTER she already started having babies. I guess it's cuz they married young. So neither of them really got to experience life. Also, they grew up in little villages in Mexico. They both traveled to the States when they were like 16 (not together at the time though). My mama met him when she was like 18 or 19. They got married fast. He never really got to enjoy his adolescence and neither did she. My mama said he was the sweetest thing. She lived a really fucked up life, even with her family. And he "rescued her away" from that. But years into the marriage, and after I guess he realized that he was really married and she was popping out kid after kid, I guess he realized he never got to "live" the young life. It's complicated.

      I disagree, not cheat or divorce. Divorce or counseling.

    • "my mother was attracted to my dad."

      Again, this isn't directed at your situation. In many situations, there is no solution within the marriage.

  • I don't think it's a problem for people to feel that way as long as they are honest with their partners about it.

    Touching your sleeping wife (sexually at least) is molestation though if she hasn't expressed she is okay with that kind of thing. If she has, cool.

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    • Marriage is just a bad idea anymore for a guy. You can get arrested for touching your wife. Would she get arrested for touching him? Don't even give the PC bullshit answer. It is , no. Marriage is a horrible idea for a guy. Just say no, I guess. Seems like women want to many caveats for marriage which is why they fail so miserable and the guy gets hurt badly. No, it is a bad deal. Antiquated.

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    • Good then. We are settled.

    • thought: warm fuzzy sentiments about people communicating doesn't mean crap when the legal and cultural environment is predisposed to heavily fuck over men if the woman feels like she isn't feeling the marriage anymore.

  • Marriage isn't dead. It's the generation of people who don't want to fight for it anymore. For better or for worse? Used to mean something but if people don't want to fight for it anymore, than they become just empty words. My parents have been married for 25 years and they are still going strong. Marriage is hard, but I believe it is well worth it

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    • ^ this 💯

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    • Any mor importantly, so are they*

    • what happens if the guy wants to fight for it, but the girl decides she's bored or isn't interested? she gets to plunder him for everything he has

  • if marriage is so bad, why are you still married? are you happy? why don't you believe that men can find a happy relationship and stay in it for almost 30 years like you have?

    people who say marriage is over need to think long and hard about that one. generations of future children being raised by single mothers and absent fathers with no sense of responsibility is not good at all for society

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    • then shouldn't society create some kind of incentive for men to marry? agreeing to give some aging girl the rights to everything i've worked for in my life does not sound appealing

  • you have cited one incidence to back up a really really antagonizing issue, and I'd like to seriously slap you for using the term "feminazi" the only the men who use that term against women are pussies, wusses, and men scared that women are becoming independent, they can't handle women becoming equals. Get more information together if you're going to make an accusation like this. marriage is supposed to be a harmonious partnership, and there is NO reason why that can not work and it is NOT women's faults if it doesn't. divorces get ugly, that's nothing knew, and it takes two to fuckin tango, buddy. back yourself up with some real evidence, or just keep whining, I don't really care.

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    • Guys do not believe in marriage anymore. Look at the poll and their answers. This isn't one isolated item. This is pervasive. It is broken. They are done. And for good reason.

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    • If you're trying to call me fat I'm 5'9" 120 lbs and an ex model (it's in my other threads). That was a vile pile of shit you just threw all over this thread. I hope your cute "foreign" girlfriend doesn't speak English so she doesn't have to listen to you speak. I feel like I need to take a shower after just reading that. Oh and if you expect that all women need to be "SKINNY" women come in all shapes and sizes and are beautiful at every one, you'd know that if you were a real man, but you're not.

    • Oh and one more thing: FUCK "tradition" I want my rights, and you can go back to sucking your girlfriend's dick sized clit you disgusting piece of shit.

  • Maybe they're just picking shitty fucking people to marry? My fiancé proposed to me because we have an equal partnership and we both want airtight prenups. I take care of him and he takes care of me. Anyone who expects the other to take care of them but gives nothing in return is an idiot who doesn't deserve to be married.

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  • Its not right to blame all women for a bad encounter. That's misogyny and its wrong. His wife fucked him over and that happens to women too. Its not just you. Its rape if the women did not consent to sexual intercourse it doesn't matter if you're married. Its rape if a women does the same thing it doesn't matter the gender. Men are getting mad at women for us realizing we deserve to be treated better.

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    • Misogyny, rape, deserve better... then marriage is not a good idea for women either.

  • If you fall in love with a woman and you both want to get married, get married.
    If you don't, don't.
    That's it. Whoever you are even considering spending the rest of your life with shouldn't ever even consider treating you like shit and screwing you in divorce court.
    You know what they tell women when they choose abusive men and/or cheaters?
    "You ignored the NICE guy"
    "You have poor taste/judgement"
    'You just wanted his money"
    "You deserve this. "
    A guy chooses a horrid bitch who takes everything he owns and suddenly ALL women are vicious monsters and no one should ever get married.

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    • by the way feminazis are not everywhere. They are just loud and obnoxious.
      If feminazis are everywhere so are rapists.

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    • They, majority of young men, don't want to marry. Why do you have a problem with that?

    • All of the young men I know want to get married...

  • Why do you think marriage doesn't work anymore? Just curious, what do you think changed since you got married?

    Also you keep saying women these days are fucked up. Has it occurred to you that your wife and women of her generation would probably say the same about guys these days?

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    • Yes... Whatever. It isn't I a viable choice. The woman had all the power to fuck over the guy once he say I do. So they shouldn't make the commitment as once they do it is a bad position to be in. stupid from a practical point of view. May be women want yo get married, but for men, it is a bad deal if things go worn and they go wrong MOST of the time. And, it is women who file most of the divorces. Incredibly bad deal for the guy as they get screwed in the legal process.

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    • I don't want to argue that point. I'm just asking what you think changed since you got married. You clearly said you were happily married, so it was a good decision but you wouldn't do the same today. Why? What changed?

    • Women don't want to be "we" when they marry. They want to remain "me". Fuck that.

  • guys are equally as fucked up too... knocking women up and running from child support... your opinion is very one sided, backed up with ONE story

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    • Not one-sided. Marriage is a bad idea. Works for both.

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    • Girls also abort their baby without the men's consent. I don't see how that's any worse

    • the irony there is its just girls who sleep w/ unemployed losers who could lose out in the child support game.

  • That's up to you if you don't want to get married or not, not all men feel the way that you do. Not all women are the same either, I know that I won't treat my future husband the way that some women do.

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  • You just need a break from all that trouble right now. You've been there done that so just focus on you at the moment and get back on your feet. There are some mature, considerate women out there and they're looking for a faithful, loving guy like yourself. You need to take care of the issues you have now and try your best to move on and get back out there. I will admit girls are a pain in the ass but you gotta find the simple ladies who aren't high maintenance and just want a decent relationship with a guy.

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    • I am married and happy. But for my two sons, no way will I recommend it today. It is a terrible decision given the mindset of the women and the way the courts treat men. It is a sucker bet. I don't want my boys ruined because of it.

    • I wouldn't tell them strictly not to get married, but to learn values and how to find a decent girl. People nowadays get married too quickly. It's all about dating people and communication that we need. If people would just be honest, skip the bullshit and just be faithful with one another, things would work out. I still believe in a long happy marriage, and i'm not losing my hope on finding a decent guy.

    • The guy I referenced when I posted this was faithful, she was not. She hooked up with another woman while she sat at Starbucks all day on her iMac. He got majorly screwed and spent another 50k in court to fight to get his visitation rights which he finally won after 18 months. She has since turned his kids against him and he girlfriend lives with the kids even though she not supposed to as it would jeopardize the alimony he has to pay. it is a bad deal for a guy and getting worse.

  • I don't know 😐 if you found the love of your life and she wants to get married would you fulfill her wishes? or nope?

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    • I am married and happy. But things have changed. I would not do it today. I didn't even realize that until I came on this site and see how today's young women think. It matches with my son, nephew and the other guys in this poll think.

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    • Can divorce *

    • There are a few gems out there. I wouldn't know honestly, but I wouldn't have the audacity to do that to someone I use to love (if that was the case) both parties would be able to have a say, in what they what. It's the lawyers job to do the paper work for it. Hah if I guy decides to get married because he wants my house lol I will sell it and give him half of the money.. It's easy as that. Wouldn't think twice about it. Anyways I'm going to fall off the purpose of this post if I keep going

  • It's fine as long as you don't marry Taylor Swift.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ORhEE9VVg

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    • Yeah, that. And didn't she step wear of men?

    • Swear off*

  • I never saw the post you are referring to but I was taken advantage of by my ex husband and I felt raped. It's a horrible thing to get over. As far as marriage... I'm not sure about it anymore myself. It's overrated and for some reason people think you're a better person if you are married. I'm staying single and I'm a fine individual!!

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    • I think it is best anymore.

  • With everything thing in life it all depends on the person and what they are and are not willing to sacrifice. Im willing to wait for marriage bc I want something real more than just sex others feel completely different from me. bt with that being said at 24 I want a best friend lover someone I can be comfortable with I don't want a different man every month or to be a single mom. I want a man to grow old with. bt their are men/ women out there who feel differently than I or worse don't even know what they want and I've come to find that in the end it depends on the person and how well u know each in my opinion some people aren't meant for marriage or perhaps have gotten with the wrong person from the beginning.

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    • I hope you find happiness. I hope that for my children as well. I see so many people talk about hookups etc and then i look at the out of date divorce laws and i shake my head. Choose wisely.

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    • I'd say good luck as well.. unfortunately, any guy with options nowadays is going to be gun shy towards marriage.. the laws are absolutely terrifying, i dont see how its worth possibly being a slave

    • Thank u very much :) I really think it depends on the person some bad apples can ruin it for every one bt I would not want my hubby to be a slave bt my partner in crime :)

  • Wow, not even for citizenship?

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  • For a guy? For anyone! I don't know why you think guys lose more.. lol.. I think Its funny that guys think all women want to do is get married..😒

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  • Married men live longer than single men.

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  • You should let your sons make their own choices on what they think is best for them. There is nothing I hate more than my parents trying to tell me how to live my life, trying to control me, or trying to tell me who I should and should not be with. They try it all the time, and it makes the relationship with my parents very strenuous...

    My opinion on the marriage thing, it is a choice, people do it for security, love, control, children... all different reasons (I would do it for love) you just have to make sure IF you were to actually do it, you do it with the right person, and do it because you WANT to. Never put your dick in crazy.

    I'm not answering the poll, because it really depends on the circumstances, and the couple. It can often be a bad deal for the woman too; it isn't one sided.

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    • Listen to what you said, hate, control me, telling me this and that... No one wants to hear this crap 24x7. And my son told me he had no interest. I was still thinking about how good it was with my wife until I realized things have changed and he was right.

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    • There is a lack of mutual understanding between men and women, and we become blinded by resentment. Life is too short to be filled with hate all the time.

      I know what you are saying when you say the guy gets screwed financially, unfortunately, the courts do side with the mother most of the time, and it is unfair. It roots back to the old fashion way of thinking:
      "women belong in the kitchen & raising the children, while the men go out & make the money"

      so, women get the benefits because they have always been viewed as the child rearers. This should never be taken advantage of, but some women do, and it is extremely sad for the father and the children.

      I know 1 single father in particular who could out parent a lot mothers I know, any day. My best friend and her siblings were raised by their father, he had fully custody of them. It totally depends on the situation.

      No one should marry unless they are absolutely 100% sure it will last and stay strong.

    • Perhaps as people wait to marry as they are today, then they will make better decisions. Fewer marriages are occurring but perhaps they will be better ones. A lot of single mothers in the meantime are being created not a great situation for them.

  • I'm not a fan of marriage, either. That being said, being careful who you marry makes a big difference. I know divorced people who went through hell and others who worked it out civilly. And even some who never got divorced!

    Marriage is more of a spiritual/religious vow, in my eyes. Good for personal reasons, but unnecessary as an establishment.

    Child support is not necessarily the same thing. It's expensive to raise a child, and generally the custodial parent is paying quite a bit, too. Not all fathers want custody, my own included, and are fine with only taking care of kids part time. The same with divorce - just because the woman physically filed the paperwork doesn't mean she initiated the divorce. This also happened with my parents. He was cheating and moved out, but made her deal with the tedious administrative side. All I'm saying is stats don't always tell the whole story.

    I do agree that men who do want more time with their kids deserve better rights, though. With two working patent households, I see alimony dwindling too.

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  • I'm not a huge fan of marriage myself, but you could always get a pre nup, you don't have to be a millionaire to have one, it's just for your own piece of mind about your belongings such as cars homes.

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    • Prenups do t mean much as they are broken frequently and over say a 10 years marriage in the higher earning years she is entitled to half and more for child support and alimony.

    • Oh god, well in that case then you need to think long and hard before, you consider a girl for marriage and hope for the best she's not a crazy goldigger

    • As my son says, by quoting a movie, "the only winning move is not to play at all". He is right. I just got lucky with my wife as she is for a different time I guess.

What Guys Said 28

  • Marriage is no different today than it was 50 years ago. The difference lies in how people perceive it.
    Marriage has always been used to acknowledge lifelong commitment to each other, and is recognized by family, state and religion. It is still used in this manner today, so marriage itself has not changed.

    What HAS changed is society. Today's youth are less interested in religion and many no longer see marriage as a requirement to starting a family. The state also recognizes co-habitation greater than 1 year, as the equivalent of marriage (in terms of taxation and marriage benefits). So if you're young, not religious and already living with your girlfriend for a couple years, there is no legal difference from being married.

    The difference lies in the perception of validity of your relationship. Society still sees married couples with children as a stable family foundation. The same cannot be said for unwed couples with children.

    Unmarried couples with kids are often seen as:
    - Unstable relationships.
    - Having the kid accidentally, rather than planned.

    All of this plays a role in how you are perceived. Especially in your career.
    For example, newly married people are often loathed by employers.
    They know the babies will be popping out soon, and maternity/paternity leave will happen in a year or two.
    Older married people who already have grown up kids are seen as a pillar of stability.
    Unmarried people who have kids are seen as being unstable and poor decision makers.
    Single parents are seen in a very negative light.

    Lastly, I would say that your negative perception on marriage will probably doom your own marriage. Ever heard of the self-fulfilling prophecy? If you have no faith in your marriage, or marriage itself - what do you think is going to make it last?

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    • My marriage is great. It is just a leftover from a by-gone era.

  • Unless the laws are fixed to stop screwing men over then I see no reason to get married. People always say stuff like "it is the higher earning person that gets screwed over" yet honestly... Most women are hypergamous. I have seen rants from women online where the guy brings up a prenup and they rant and claim "he doesn't love her" yet I know very well she is asking something of a guy that she wouldn't be willing to do herself.

    it is a bad deal for men and I don't see how guys can want marriage and it amazed me how rushed so many marriages are as it is. Hell even just dating alone I have to watch out. I talk to some girls who are showing interest in a first date and before I even meet them they're telling me how they wanna move in with someone and all the little details of it. I even know a girl who moved in with a date within a few months of knowing him. People need to stop rushing this stuff. It falls apart as fast as it builds up.

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    • It is an incredibly bad deal for the guy and these women on this post have no idea. They think they are the ones that are victims, which is in of itself a root problem. Stay away from it. It's bullshit.

    • My lawyers told me to expect that she would get 75% of everything. Because she had raised two children. In fact she is better qualified than me and worked throughout. The lawyers don't tell the truth in court and it is too expensive to fight over it.

    • Yea the way women can justify taking a man's things in divorces while remaining a victim at the same time is extremely toxic in my opinion and makes them unable of loving anyone or being loved. It's a really sad deal.

      @syd48 Stuff like that is exactly why I can't see myself getting married. The whole idea of alimony and stuff I always figured was due to the woman not working but with her working and taking that it just reinforces their sick mindset of "My money is mine and your money is ours."

      Of course women have no idea how bad it is for men. They're the ones profiting at a man's expense.

  • Marriage should only be entered into when you're fully aware of all the bad shit that could happen and accept that you may have to mitigate/solve it.

    Otherwise, there is no point. Much safer to just live together.

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    • Even living together in many states constitutes marriage. Common Law Marriage.

    • Still not as legal tricky as marriage contract. Depends on the state, but agreed.

  • An increasing of petty fights and resentful compromises which like Chinese water torture slowly transforms both parties into howling neurotic versions of their former selves = marriage

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  • I'm planning on getting married because I've found the perfect girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with. If you want to avoid "feminazis" or women who will screw you over, look at the good women instead!

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    • Wait ten years before you give your final opinion on this. Good luck though. You are playing Russian Roulette with at least three shells in it.

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    • Well that's a good sign on the NRA. I am a member myself.

    • When the hormones start to change they simply throw your pack of cards in the air.

  • Marriage is the most overrated thing in life. Dont do it, 70% divorce rate. Just look and listen to the people who actually are married. They all regret it. Don't listen to people who never been married, because they are all still googly eyed on the idea of marriage due to marriage. So marriage is bad.

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  • There is no reason. It used to mean something but that ship has long set sail. I always thought I would marry the woman of my dreams when I was growing up. You are basically signing your life over to a woman that could change for the worse at any given moment. I don't know if marriage is for me but I do want find a woman I can spend the rest of my life with and have children.

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  • Marriage sucks. that's all i have to say.

    i will NEVER NEVER NEVER marry

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  • Realistically, there's no reason to get legally married. Living together gives you all the joys, yet you keep your power in the relationship--she can't take you to divorce court or get alimony or if you out earn her (which women prefer) she won't enrichen herself of your earnings.

    If you have kids together, either way you'll be paying child support and not get much custody.

    There's really no reason to legally wed. Just make sure your state/country doesn't recognize common law marriage or palimony.

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    • I never really got why people think of marriage as some kind of power play?

    • Not to worry. It isn't something that is for this generation. No marriage, no power play on either side.

    • @Izzy2102

      because you're not a man. Typical marriage--with a woman marrying a higher earning man--means that the threat of divorce is a sword of Damocles hanging over his head. She can divorce for any reason, and she'll probably get full custody of any kids, alimony, child support, and at least half of all assets. Meanwhile, divorce is a very costly option for a successful man--he'll lose custody/most of his things. So he can't really threaten divorce easily.

      See, if you're just living with a woman, then the man can threaten to leave if the woman is becoming miserable to be around or cheating, and he won't suffer much consequences at all. It's equal power because if the relationship becomes miserable, either person can leave and the other one (neither the man or woman) will be raped in court. Equal power.

  • My dad always had an interesting thing to say about marriage after a couple of divorces. "If you ever feel like getting married, find someone you don't like and buy them a house."

    I am torn with this as well. I like marriage, but like everything else when the government gets too involved it gets all messed up. I like women, I like having relationships, I have met some I wish I didn't and I have met some that I have a lot of respect for. But laws as they are today lend themselves to be taken advantage of.

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    • The laws are out-dated and are severe for the man. These laws protected women who had no recourse and when marriage was seen as essential for society. That's gone.

  • Assuming you find a women who is worthy of you and you her marriage is great you can extend your bloodline continue your family name. And have the joy of children and growing old with someone its all about patience the majority of marriages don't work out now a days because people get married to early age wise or before they are ready themselves. And they just give up instead of trying to fix the problem.

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    • This would be for my sons. My marriage is fine. Bloodlines can be extended without marriage so that is not an issue. Throw $10k at the women and you can have your name extended to if that is worth it.

    • It was not directed at you specifically lol and my point still stands. Everyone gets married for different reasons some do it for love, money, religion some do it so they won't be lonely. My point being is just because you and your sons think its a waste of time don't go around discouraging those that do want it. Marriage has not changed one bit it's society and people that have changed the world in general had gone down the toilet all your post does further add to the down spiral.

  • I can agree with you on a couple of points. This generation, my generation, unfortunately, of women treat we men like garbage. My wife acts as I she can speak to me and treat me any way she so chooses. She acts as if I am here to serve her, which to an extent is true, but, I also deserve respect from her in return. I make the money to pay the bills, I get my ass up every morning to work, I deploy to foreign countries to provide for her AND my country. The least she can do is appreciate me a bit. But from this whole feminism movement, men are treated like shit simply because we're men.

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    • Thanks for your service! Sorry to hear about that situation.

  • I only reserve the idea for men, because there are still good women out there that wouldn't screw the guy over. But the only way to know that is to take time to know your partner. Have a long courtship for years and only then get married, because at that point you know what you're getting into.
    This idea of marrying your gf of 1 year is a bad bad bad idea.

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    • It didn't work for me. They are full of surprises and lay all the responsibility on other people when they made the choices. Don't get me wrong I love women and I am monogamous and right now I would rather be without even one.

  • I get where you're coming from. Shit that's what I thought before... till I met the right girl not to long ago. She and I complete each other. Before I felt empty knowing I was getting older and I had no one to come home to. Now I have and amazing girlfriend soon to be my wife and were expecting a baby. The thing is bro yeah you're going to meet some people who are just out to screw you over but you are too going to meet people who only want to love you.

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  • hahaha I love all the girls thinking marriage is a great deal for a guy or that their histrionic victim complexes have some validity...

    you are 100% right- i'm a guy in his mid/late 20s making close to 6 figures with a few rental properties and... I worked fucking HARD to get here. the idea that some girl could take all that from me on a whim disgusts me.. especially when i didn't have a girl building a life w/ me while i was slaving away to build myself up

    the girl I'm currently seeing says she understands and respects my POV but i kinda wonder how long til it'll change. women always seem to perceive things in a light that best reflects their interests

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  • I don't plan on getting married. I was 'common law' for over a decade and am very lucky that it was an amicable split - I could have been taken to the cleaners and screwed over quite badly. I am glad we both hated kids and never had any, that would have made it a million times worse!

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    • You were
      Icky. Glad you got out of it alright.

    • You were lucky*

  • Yeah no way in hell I'm going to get married or have kids.

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    • I have been beating on my son hat he should get married and he says no. Now he is thinking about and I have to go to him and tell him I was dead wrong. Horrible move.

  • I think anyone who gets married without a prenup is stupid.

    You should always cover your bases.

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  • What a load of bollox! And ur quote was referring to a game, not marriage :p

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    • The point is absolutely valid. You are unlikely to be successful in marriage today as opposed to when we hot married. It is different because the people are diff end in their attitudes. It is a fools game for the guy as he gets hurt in the end.

    • I agree that marriage is not what it used to be and that ideas/attitudes have changed towards marriage. I also think that people are not willing to put in the same effort for it ot fight for it like they did 50 years ago, but I think it's a pretty poor show to dump the blame on women.

      ".. given the way women treat men" ? Leave it out! It takes two in a marriage and some men treat their wife like sh! t
      As for the argument on rights to the children, that depends entirely on the law where yu live and the circumstances surrounding separation.

      Sorry, bud.. I can't agree with this.

    • When marriages go bad the guy gets screwed. That is the point. The majority of times the woman files the divorce. Guys are stupid to get married today.

  • Wow, the distribution on this poll is amazing. Were girls aware that so many guys feel this way?

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    • most don't care. women always interpret facts and dynamics in a way that supports their interests

    • Which is exactly what the poll supports. That was actually a really succinct and cogent answer. I think you just gave me an erection.

  • I've seen a lot of good men get ruined by marriage and divorce.

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  • Well the answer here is that the ideal girls to marry are vanishingly small. Realistically maybe like 5% of the female population is worth considering if that hahaha.

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  • LOL at the poll results...
    Marriage benefit women more than men.

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  • I love these poll results so much! And I think this has to do with the closing gap between men and women, which is really great! But Women, with the advancement of feminism, we can't pick and chose what "archaic" customs to hold onto. Marriage is a huge risk to the man, if something goes bad and they split, well lets just say how many times have you heard of a woman paying support to the man? Even though there are lots of women out there and long carriers (still a pay and employment gap, I know, but it is getting better).

    For me personally, there is the fact that I am not religious and I would never be with someone who was, so I don't want the classic wedding. and getting married in a court for tax breaks isn't as beneficial as it used to be.

    This all being said, I DO believe in love and life long relationships, I just think we can't push the world to change and not expect some nice traditions to get left behind.

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  • Marriage should be a 50:50 partnership, but what does the guy get these days. As soon as there are kids they become the focus and for 20 years the guy is sitting it out. Then when the kids leave home the wife starts menopause, is dissatisfied and gives him hell. If they divorce the man has to continue working to pay the wife maintenance. Feminism means that men are expected to do all the man chores and half of the woman chores while women want to behave like men AND have the babies.
    Practically, materially and emotionally men are left out in the cold and then ripped off.
    It is looking that the worst deal of the 21st century and women are now worried that men don't want to get married.

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    • I agree. I just spoke to my son about this. It is a bad deal for the guy today. you can see from the poll here and what is going on in society that guys have realized this. The women still want to get married because it is a pretty sweet deal for them. When I spoke to my son and let him know that I agree it is a bad deal, he simply said "Yeah, fuck that". I feel better. His mom was right there too and no argument there either.

    • It's a shame. I had a good marriage for 33 years and we had a very close family and were quite well off. My wife was just over 50 and some chancer comes along (while I am working away) and plays to her insecurities. Now we are divorced, the family lawyers have taken a huge chunk of money. Her relationship failed and left her devastated that everything is lost. BUT, she gets a huge financial settlement I I have to work till I die to pay for it. Everything we worked for is gone. This is not a good situation.
      Now I feel more sorry for my children because they now have no faith that even a good family can survive intact.

  • The only way I'm getting into a relationship let alone married is if the girl has the perfect body and the personality of an angel. Of course I'm only 20 so I haven't met the right girl yet. But i do want to get married and I will wait. I e gone through enough pain so she will have to earn my trust.

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  • 50% divorce rate, 67-70% filed by women. 82-84% child support goes to women (also meaning they got custody), 97% of alimony is paid by men to women, too. Assets get split, sometimes resulting in the man going homeless. Based on demographic, 10-33% of men are raising kids they don't know aren't theirs. Falling behind on child support can result in jail, and it usually happens to men; women who fail child support payments go to jail 1/8 of the time compared to men in the same circumstances.

    So why the fuck are men getting married? I'm never going to self-harm in that way.

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  • While marriage tends to be a bad deal for men there are a lot of good reasons to get married regarding economics and stable lifestyle.

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    • I used to think that actually until I joined this site a week or so ago. This generation is f'ed up. I wouldn't marry today.

    • It is very risky, I agree, but remember that the statistics about marriage are not true for all ages and economic backgrounds. Most marriages that are failing are for young people who are without bachelor's.

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