Is it so bad to just want to relax sometimes?

I get up at five every morning, and don't get off work until five to eight, five days a week. My wife doesn't work. We have three kids. I get that she is tired, and she works hard too, but here's the thing. I'm usually outside all day, regardless of weather, doing manual labor. She stays home with the kids. I come home, and as soon as I walk through the door, it's honey do this, I need this done, get on him, blah blah blah. Is it really too fucking much to just let me sit and relax at least one day when I get home? I do everything for her. I cook a lot, I do laundry, I clean on the weekends, I even take all three kids and let her sleep in on the weekends, getting up early and not sleeping in myself for her. I've tried to talk to her about it, and she just gets mad and says that I don't appreciate her or how hard she works, being a mom is hard work and my job isn't at all. Seriously, how do I address this in a way that shows her that I feel unappreciated?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It seems as though communication is lacking in the relationship between you and your wife. Take one night, and just talk. Have all the kids put to bed, and just sit down and talk it out. The only way it's going to be addressed without causing further issues is to sit down and let it all out.

    You both feel unappreciated. While you're at work busting your ass, she's at home dealing with three kids (which is difficult dealing with just one alone) busting her ass to make them happy, all while she ties her schedule in as well. It's even more difficult when you don't have kids that can fend for themselves without parental help (i. e. older teens), but since you are 18-24, I doubt you have kids older than 4 at most.(?) It's a difficult situation, but the two of you need to make up a system so the both of you don't feel like that anymore. Life changes when you have kids, let alone three. It's not going to be all "happy-go-lucky", and that's just the reality of it. Communication, communication, communication. Tell her what you need to feel good, and let her tell you what she needs to feel good. Let her know that although she does work hard, you do too.

    I think you should look for a babysitter twice a month (if applicable) to look after the kids for a night while you and your wife take a lovely date night to just catch up on life together, or to just simply relax.

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    • Thanks. Our oldest is five, by the way. I know communicating I lacking but that's hard to do between deployments and being home late every might.

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    • I appreciate ya! And no problem, I love my job. Not many people know that we are who we are like you do! That's awesome.

    • Thank you for MHO :)

What Girls Said 1

  • That's rough. Take her out somewhere and discuss it seriously over dinner maybe. She really needs to see you're hurting/struggling. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own crap that we forget about others. Maybe read her what you wrote here... it sounds very fair to me.

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What Guys Said 2

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