Is there a such thing as getting married too young?

My boyfriend and I have a wonderful relationship. We barely fight and when we do, we communicate. We're both incredibly happy and honest with each other. We've been dating for over two years and have lived together for six months. Marriage is definitely something we both want but I'm 21 and he's 23. He's talking about getting married in a year and I almost feel like that's too soon.

Maybe not for us... but just in general. It's a young age to get married. So many things can happen. We both love each other and are committed so what's the big deal with waiting until we're closer to 30 than 20? In the scheme of things, waiting five years is nothing. We are also broke college students... I would like a nice ring, a fun wedding, and a great honeymoon. I don't want anything over the top, but I would like money not to be a issue either. If we both graduate and save up a few years...

He has implied that he won't wait THAT long for marriage and he might propose in the next year.

I think it means more to him than me. I've never been the type to plan out my "dream wedding." I never even thought I'd be in a serious relationship this soon.

A part of me think I am only thinking like this because of the stigma people have of young married couples... what do you think?


Most Helpful Girl

  • In my mind I really don't think age is the issue, maturity is the real factor.

    My fiancé and I are taking the plunge into marriage next July, we've been through premarital counseling sessions. Which was a requirement of the Pastor who will be marrying us. Both of us were like, we know each other well enough that we want to get married why do we need to waste our time with this? Well we soon found out even though we've known each other since 5 and 6 years old there were things we may have not considered about each other, like finances, major purchases, debt, relocating away from families, starting one of our own and other strategies to beginning a new life together. We learned that finances and excessive debt are the number one reason that couples decide to split, married or not. In laws who feel the need to run their married children's lives are number two. You as a couple might benefit from this type of sitting down and thinking things through, building a strategy where you want to go and how to get there.

    Sounds like he wants to get settled as a married couple, where you just want to settle as a couple then maybe get married sometime later. Either way could work if you are both committed to working together and staying together, if that's your goal.

    Sorry if I come across like I've got all the answers, believe me I really don't. We're sitting down facing some of the same questions as you are. I'm 18 and he's 19, well be finishing College me and Grad School for him, it'll be tight for a while but we are committed to make it work.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think two people should be together for quite a few years before considering marriage. If people can commit after that gooey intro phase in a relationship and have good communication skills then they can probably handle anything.

  • na, get married at any age,


What Girls Said 3

  • I think that it's too young to get married. Especially because at the end of the day, being married is pretty useless at that age. I mean, do you have a lot of assets that you want him on or something? Probably not. I say keep doing your thing, there is NOTHING wrong with being in a relationship for a long time.

  • Yes there is definitely a such thing.
    My parents did it right in my opinion... they were together for 6 years before marrying. My mom was 26 and my dad was 33. Four years later they had kids.

    Take it slow. Enjoy being young with him. As long as you try for babies before 35 you're good. (That is, if you want them)

  • He's just being so..."Rushy, Rushy" ? How come?