What do you think of this quote on marriage and changing?

"Women get married thinking he will change and he doesn't. Men get married thinking she won't change and she does."

What do you think of this saying? I think some comedian said it, so I don't think it's serious, but sometimes it seems there's truth to it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Change is inevitable in a relationship, especially a relationship such as marriage.

    A big problem that I see is that before marriage, a guy and a girl will be so set in their own ways that a complete bond doesn't seem likely. This is why I have such a big problem with people saying "we need to do x, y, and z so that we can find out if we're compatible". That, in my opinion, causes one, if not both of them to in some way look each other and wonder "what will I get from this", "how will he/she become what I want them to", etc.

    A husband and wife each need to be open to the traits and values of the other that make them who they are. The problem I see is, as I said, that there's an unwillingness to do so, whether they realize it or not. There's an unwillingness to be open to the change that will come sooner or later in a marriage.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Yes, it can be true.

    But this is why we date. Signs of her being a manipulator will be apparent.

    Sex will cloud our minds to her flaws, and his. That is why it is so very important to abstain: It will give you a clear view of who your potential mate truly is.

    Hopefully she will listen to her instincts and come to realize if he truly cares for her or not.

    Sex brings with it feelings of closeness, oneness- and love. It is involuntary. If she is sleeping with him before marriage, then her heart will be filled with those emotions, even if they are not real or reciprocated in his own heart.

    People say, "Oh, she changed." or, "Oh, he changed."

    No, they were always the same person. You just never came to terms with the realization that they were always that person, deep down.

    This is why we date.

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  • A very truthful generalization. I honestly feel that men like women for who they are while many women I see out there keep dating guys treating them like "projects." If more women would date guys and realize this is who they are I feel relationships would be much smoother. I think too many women just want to feel like they made a difference in the guy's life and go about it the wrong way.

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  • I'm sure in some circumstances this is true.

    but I think it's a terrible foundation for marriage in general. hopefully you marry a person because you love who they are and they are just about everything you want in a partner

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    • Exactly. You need to love who they are now and who they will become as they age. Be prepared to grow and change with them through every stage of life.

  • I never ever heard of the second part. men get married hoping she won't change? lol

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    • Yeah, you know. Maybe your wife puts on weight or develops a lower sex drive. I hear some guys talk about how they dread this after marriage.

    • oooh well I mean that is expected! if they were to have kids then of course she puts on weight.

  • A lot of comedians say things that are humorous but true like George Carlin... and I think that quote isn't limited to just Marriage I think in most relationship that happens, more so unhealthy ones that will end up in a break up.

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  • It's rather funny because I feel there is a bit of truth to it.

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  • I agree with the quote about women getting married and thinking he will change and he doesn't. Most men wouldn't change after they get married. They always stay the same throughout the marriage.

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  • Yep, I think it's pretty accurate. It would be nice if it wasn't though.

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What Girls Said 2

  • There certainly seems to be a bit of truth to this. I've seen plenty of women talk about how they expect certain things to change when they get married and it seems like men only propose when they are happy and don't want things to change. However, that doesn't necessarily mean that no men will change or that all women do change after marriage. I don't expect my fiance to change after we get married and I don't plan on changing either.

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    • Well said! The thing is, change is inevitable as you age. I hear some guys, when going through a divorce, saying "She's just not the woman I married anymore." And, yeah, that's because you married a young 20-something girl and now she's a 45-year-old mother. My understanding of marriage is that you love and accept your partner through every stage of life.

    • Absolutely, everybody changes a little bit over time, that's to be expected.

  • its kind of true i guess. men don't really change their attitudes and women loose interest and get a little more needy.

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