Why does he say he doesn't want to marry me?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years and have 2 kids. The past couple times we had a fight he says "I never want to marry you."... We used to talk about getting married and he seemed all for it. Why does he say that now?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People tend to say things they don't mean in fights because anger clouds logic

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What Guys Said 4

  • Because it's true. You are not worth it to him. It is not "To Death Do Us Part" it's "Until our kids grow up or I cannot tolerate you, whichever comes first"

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    • If I'm not worth it to him, why did he have kids with me? Also, can I change that? How do I become "worth it"?

    • Kids are not like cars, you don't buy them, the sex is had and the process begins. Asking why he had sex with you is a fool's question and asking why he didn't push you down a flight of stairs is equally pointless.

      That said can you change it? Probably Do I know how you change it wih this particular person? No. I know nothing of him.

  • More detail may be needed for a better answer so try not to act upon my word. This is common for my girlfriend and I have been together for many years. We do not have kids but we talk about marrage a lot. Whenever we have a horrible fight she may out of anger say how much she hates me, she wish I would die, for me to get out of her life, and I foolishly ask her during her time of frustration about what about our future? or I thought we will get marrie be so happy together and she would say that she doesn't want to marry me or have a future together. However after a few hours or at times a few days everything is good again. So it is possible you are in the same situation. If not I need more detail to answer better.

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  • You're already together long term and have two kids - you have everything marriage involves except a piece of paper proving it and another one in the form of a huge bill for your wedding.

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  • Honesty, so many women are getting used like this. He never wanted to marry I would bet. He wanted sex and for you to give him children. Now he will do it to another woman as you are used up.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I heard from a woman that if you move in with a guy, and have his kids the chances of him marrying you are very unlikely.
    He already did all of those things with you... so what is there for him to gain if he does marry you?

    I agree with her outlook to an extent.
    I don't believe in grouping all unmarried couples with children and saying they won't get married.
    With anything, there are always those that are exceptions to be rule.
    I believe it depends on the individual.

    Perhaps, having already felt the strain of what it could possibly feel like to be married
    has turned your boyfriend off.
    I believe he isn't the exception to that rule.

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  • I would say that you need to sit down with him and have a serious talk once he calms down. If there weren't kids in the picture, I would probably just tell you to get up and go, but that's hardly feasible. It sounds like he really doesn't appreciate you if he hasn't apologized.

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