Would you marry someone you loved if they insisted on a prenup?

If they would not marry you unless you signed a prenup because they/their family had a large amount of wealth.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes. I would be insisting on a prenup too. Sure, it's not exactly romantic, but it's realistic. The reality is that around half of all the marriages end in a divorce. We might love each other when we get married, but there's no guarantee that we'll still love each other a few years down the road. Obviously it would be ideal if we did, but the ideal scenario does not always = reality. Bad things might happen, and when shit hits the fan, it's always good to have a backup. Just because you sign a prenup, it doesn't actually mean you'll HAVE to use it or that it actually WILL be used. It's just a safety net.

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What Girls Said 108

  • I'd still marry him but you can bet your ass the romance of the situation would basically be dead. I'm not the type of person to clean house when I leave someone. I also take marriage extremely seriously and don't believe divorce is an option except as a last resort. I'd be extremely insulted if he felt the need to get a prenup but I guess I'd still marry him. We'd need to extend the engagement for a few years though so I could remember just what it is I saw in him as spouse material.

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    • I feel the EXACT same way

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    • It is true it would be in place of the entitlement. But any pre-nup done is going to encorporate, at a minimum, 50% of income during marriage unless he or she is stupid. I was saying is that some will have that plus a specific dollar amount on top of it. But it is true that in cases of extreme wealth they might just make it X dollars total no matter what. But frankly at that point is there an issue? I read about a guy that has like 15 billion from oil in North Dakota. his ex got a settlement of 1 billion dollars in the divorce even though all his money was made during their marriage. now he is bitching because the price of oil has gone down and his net worth is less. Really? are you going to notice 1 billion dollars missing from even 3 billion dollars? jesus.. how much money can a person spend? sorry but your paying bills like a MF'er with a billion dollars...

    • Its clear by your opinion that you are in the infancy stage of your life experience and you're emerging towards wisdom slowly but surely. I say this not as an insult but speak to the lack of knowledge, understanding and experience in relationships. A prenup has nothing to do with romance. Its a binding agreement between the two of you. Television shows and movies have placed a very bad light on prenups. But let me say this. If you at your age right now, were well off, lived a comfortable life no children with an awesome career decided to get married to someone who doesn't have the same as you. Historically, divorce happens just because the way society is. If you marry him without a prenup he takes 50% plus alimony payments of what you worked your life for. A prenup isn't about what you can't have, it shows your fiscally responsible, intelligent and understand the importance of maintaining a life for you and your children if they should be there. Not having one is fiscally irresponsible

  • i'd still marry him... but it would be hard for me to accept that some part of him was prepared for disaster, namely me cleaning him out. i would only seek a divorce if he cheated or turned out to be abusive, so perhaps i would do what Commie suggested- include a fidelity clause.

    our biggest fears... all nicely outlined in a contract. lol.

    WAIT. just read your question info. if the dude had a large amount of wealth, then yes, i would sign one. that i understand. i kind of assumed i'd be getting with someone of little to average wealth.

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  • Prenups are not all that bad. You can set it up where if you both divorced you and your children, if any, would get a certain amount of monies or property allotted to you after the divorce. What he doesn't want to happen is you both marry and divorce 10 years down the line and you take half of his families wealth with you. For example, the family home. He wants that to remain in the family. Just talk it out, have your own lawyer draw up an agreement to the prenup and have a happy marriage.

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  • Absolutely, I'd be the one insisting on the pre-nupt. People forget that marriage is a financial and legal decision, not an emotional one. The emotions, love, care, and similar aspects make a relationship, not a marriage. They forget to look into the laws on how another's persons choices and activities will effect them. The other thing they forget is that the laws governing marriages change in every state. For instance: you can be responsible for your husband's debt in one state and not in another. A pre-nupt is not a document that says "we do not trust each other." It simply structures the legal and financial components of your marriage to be what you want instead of using the default state laws. We define our own relationship rules, why not these too?

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  • I'm a law head so I understand people leaving nothing to chance in terms of business agreements or wills, but on a personal level pre-nups are a tough one. I would take it as a sign that they don't 100% know and trust me. If they feel they don't 100% trust and know me, why are they marrying me in the first place? I'm not saying an all out no, because if I loved them enough to marry them it would be with a view we will never need a pre-nup. It would however make me seriously question how they see me.

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    • What if they were pressured by their wealthy parents to make his future wife sign the prenup... its their money after all and i think it's fair for them to try and protect it.

      Im only 17 but when I get married I will probably consider a prenup :/ You read all these stories about guys' lives getting f'ed up after a divorce. Signing a prenup won't make me love my future wife any less, it would make me know that she trusts me enough to know that I divorce her when I'm bored.

      In addition while a woman might say that if they divorce she won't go after his money this could all change if, and when, the divorce does come. I'm sorry but I won't bet my money on a woman's emotional state at the time of the divorce to trust her not to take most of my money.

      Anyway thats my opinion.

    • It's an interesting opinion, and you've raised some interesting points. In terms of wealthy families: If he completely trusted me, I would expect him to not have his family's judgement about me outweigh his own. On principal, if he can't stand up against their interference it doesn't set a good example for the future (grandchildren, etc). If they can't trust him to choose a decent wife, why would they choose to trust him with their money? More importantly I think there are other ways to go about this if the family are concerned. This could be dealt with through business agreements for shares in companies and the same with wills for inheritance - for property say, without coming between the couple. If you're getting married with a) the idea in your head that this may not work out or b) that if it does go pear-shaped, I'm going to grab everything I can get, then I wouldn't want to marry that person. It demonstrates doubt in both the union and my character from the very beginning. Don't

    • get me wrong. I know some women can be money grabbing. But ultimately it comes down to this: do you trust the person you're marrying? and do you trust your own judgment of their character? Circumstances change. Maybe its a cultural thing. I live in the UK and pre-nups are pretty alien here.

  • Sure. It's a good idea for people to get prenups.

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  • Yeah but only with a fidelity clause.

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    • Well I assume you mean you get something out of it if they cheat... some fidelity clauses also state that they get nothing regardless of cheating.

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    • Good to hear lol a lot of married people on GaG would be in trouble if that happened lol

    • @Zorro8888 oh most definitely haha

  • No I would not. Maybe if they agreed to give me 5-10% but if they say they will give me nothing I will wonder when they plan on divorcing me and replacing me with somebody else.

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  • That was gonna happened to me when I got married my ex is a doctor and his family is wealthy as well they wanted me to sign a prenup stating that I was not getting any of his money In case we divorce... I tOld him I was not gonna sign any paper but I wasn't gonna marry him but we already gave all the invitations and had everything set up so he agreed to marry me without a prenup we had a son and we gOt divorce, now he left me the house, car and he's paying me alimony and child support BUT IM A REGISTER NURSE SO I HAVE MY INCOME TOO I couldn't live out of what he gives me I have to work too.

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  • I'd sign it because I love him, but in my head I'd be depressed in the back of my mind wondering if all he saw me as was a gold digger, or if he truly trusted and loved me like he might say he does. I can understand a person wanting to keep their hard earned money, everyone is like that, but in the end even though it's the logical thing to do when you have a good amount of cash the lack of trust would still hurt. If we were to get a divorce though, I'd make sure I got full custody rights incase we have children. He can keep his money, but I at least want to keep my child/children. I just hope I don't end up being one of those divorce statistics and that I have a good married life if or when I do get married.

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  • I would marry someone if they asked for a prenup. I think people get too uptight when it comes to that stuff. This world has a lot of problems and you have to be really careful. You have to protect yourself. I don't believe it means that you love the person any less, but you still have to protect yourself. Truth is, you have to be prepared for anything. When and if I get married, I might have a prenup myself if I do find myself wealthy in the future.

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  • I wouldn’t mind. It’s unfortunate that there are so many dirty, grimy, sleazy females out there that many men feel it is absolutely necessary to have a prenup because this level of female has tainted the possibility factors.

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    • Sooo it's okay that he groups you along with all the women that he got involved with that were "gold diggers"? I'm sorry but if any man brings his baggage from another relationship into ours... that has absolutely nothing to do with me I'd leave.

      You aren't those "sleazy" women. And you shouldn't have to sign a prenup to prove that. It's a totally new relationship with a totally different person. Why should you suffer for somebody else's mistakes?

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    • @KillerTaco…meh, I don't know if I would say all that. I’ll just put it this way: I have been blessed with some amazing, lovely, wonderful friends but knowing the full extent of who they are…would I marry them or trust them with a fortune if I was a man and we were romantically pursuing each other? HELL NO. Trustworthy people are a dying breed: doesn’t make them less lovely throughout the whole process, but it does make them more susceptible to painfully disappointing you at some point and time. The whole thing with a prenup is just typically stating that if things go South, the other person isn’t going to be vindictive and try to take all they can from a fortune they didn’t build. I think that’s fair.

    • You understand! Yes! Yes! You understand! Bless you!

  • Prenups are important. There are so many things that could break up a marriage no matter how sure you are of it. Shit happens in life and it is out of our control. His family would probably be really upset with him if he didn't do the prenup. I'm guessing the wealth in the family you are talking about is his parent's money, not his, so even though it is his choice it would be pretty selfish of him to put their hard earned money in jeopardy. I'm sure you're a great girl, but like I said... shit happens.

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  • I would and I'd get him to sign a pre-nup too regardless if I was wealthy or not. You never know what people want these days and love can blind you and make you stupid.

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  • I have to say that I come from a wealthy family as well, with a not so wealthy fiancĂ©, and I personaly would not even consider a prenup. I would work weather weathure I had cash coming in just so I had something to do and truly accomplish in life. But for other people, or more common people, they probably would want a prenup. I would say if you love her go for it. ut ask her if she really trusts you first. What she's doing is smart, but I think a relationship especially a wedding is based on trust. Without trust their is nothing.

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    • I asked my dad, yes I still live with my parents for the moment, and he made a good point. It's a two sided dagger. One way you are proving yourself to the other person, and the other way they are showing they don't you.

  • It's amazing you got so many answers! And double the amount from girls, LOL. Anyway, I had to look it up... So if I understand correctly, it's basically a contract that says if the couple divorces, they can't take or use the other person's money no matter what... What I don't understand, is why is that bad enough that it might cause someone to not marry you? Honestly, I don't want someone else having my money, and I don't want to take away money from other people anyway... So as far as I'm concerned, there's nothing wrong with that.

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  • Yes, maybe it's because I'm cynical and greedy, but I honestly can't see myself trusting someone enough to share a bank account, let alone owning half my assets if we divorce. I see no problem with it.

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  • I wouldn't marry someone if they DIDN'T want to sign a prenup...

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    • I got to agree with you. As a guy i'm the weaker sex in court, so having those papers signed will be the most important thing i can have. Because it'll endi t then and there.
      So no matter what happens or whom i'm with, i'd demand those papers signed. If they refuse it's either because they're naive enough to think it won't be needed (in that case they're not mature enough for life, and i would probably have left em some time ago), or they're trying to have a backup plan to abuse the system if needed (and i just dodged a bullet).

  • I would have no problem signing it - although the fidelity clause is a good idea. And if we had children together, and I was the one who ended up getting main custody, I think I would prefer he at least set the child up for a bit, at least until I got everything settled - divorce is hard, especially for a newly single mother!

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    • booooooo AK... less answering my questions, and more answering my KiK! ;)

    • Hahaha AB why are you anon for this? I'll answer tonight, had a big day yesterday and just didn't want to talk to anyone.

    • 00o000o00o0 kkk

      Bcz some things I ask in secretz... because I'm cool like that!

  • Nope. Love is based on the foundation of trust and communication. The fact that you are thinking about me taking everything you've got IF we divorce is already a bad omen. Buuut I would never get married to someone who put money over their spouse. I'm not vain so they wouldn't have to worry about that. The person I marry wouldn't be into material things either.

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  • If I really loved a guy, I definitely would still marry him. With some strong communication and understanding as to why it needs be be this way and a good sense of security in the relationship... its worth it. only thing that would worry me is the trust issue, do u have some doubt that it won't work and therefore feel the need to have her sign it? Girls hate to feel like the two of you aren't a team. On the flip side, if she doesn't really love u and doesn't sign it, get out. Could be a money hungry B! Any good girl would be open to discussion about this.

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  • marriage is give and take and more about compatibility than it is about love. (although love is a very important part of it). In short, it really depends on the relationship and on what the prenup said. I can absolutely understand a family trying to maintain their wealth and attempting to protect themselves from someone who was only in it for the money. I personally think prenups based on money alone should give some thought to time spent in the relationship. For instance, if you sign a prenup that says if you divorce, you get nothing no matter how long you stayed married and no matter what you gave up to be married that would be foolish. it's a give and take and requires negotiation just like any other business arrangement.

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  • There are mixed emotions when the topic of prenuptials are brought up. One side may see it as the beginning of pessimism in the marriage while others see it as necessary. It all boils down to how you feel about it. However if I were getting married and my potential husband insisted on a prenup, I would do it if my intentions were genuine. Someone's funds and assets shouldn't be of tour concern unless you're marrying for other reasons. It's 2015 people don't marry for love anymore rather for money, status, green card etc. He has every right to protect his assets.

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  • I would sign a prenup if the situation called for it. Provided that I read through it completely and had my lawyer go through it as well to make sure that I wasn't being screwed out of money that belonged to me were we ever to get divorced. It's understandable though really for rich families to want one given the divorce rate these days.

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  • Assuming that I had any desire to get married whatsoever (which I don't), I'd be the first one to demand a prenup.

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  • Yes I would

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  • Sure, why not? I'm not a gold-digger. I married for love, not for money. But I would sure mention in the prenup that if he ever stopped showing me that he loved me, I was free to go find some love somewhere else. All's fair in love and war.

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  • no way. I don't care how "in love" I think I am. My parents got divorced, and my mom signed a prenup and got nothing.

    I'm not letting someone do what he wants, with no regard at all for me. Prenups are for sneaky men who have a hidden agenda.

    If he even suggests a prenup, we're over.

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  • Sure, why not? If I really love the guy, it shouldn't matter. It doesn't mean it'll ever need to be used, just a realistic option (seeing as people fall out of love all the time for many reasons... as much as you would like to think it doesn't happen, it does)

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  • Depends on what is in it. But ya in general, although I would feel a bit uneasy about it

    And the would def be a fidelity clause in there

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What Guys Said 58

  • I see it the same way as having car insurance.

    When you get car insurance, do you WANT to get into a car crash? Hell no. Do you WANT to drive recklessly? Of course not. But guess what?

    Shit. Happens.

    There's reality, and then there's whatever fantasy Disney world some of the people here are living in.

    But here's the thing I don't get.

    With a prenup, if the marriage works. That's great. If it doesn't, then what's the problem? You two are now EXACTLY the same as you were before you met. He doesn't get any of your belongings, you don't get any of his.

    Just cause you wear your seatbelt doesn't mean you're looking to get into a car crash people.

    At the end of the day, you AREN'T a mind reader, and you would be surprised, SURPRISED at how much two people can end up hating each other after a marriage.

    Some of the greedy answers here downright disgust me. Like somehow people can't find success without relying on someone else. Disgusting. I genuinely hope some of you don't ever get married.

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  • I would. I think there would be a part of me that would feel a bit hurt, but I would totally understand the reason. Reality is reality and that has to trump any starry eyed emotions and romance.

    But to be honest, I don't totally understand prenups from the legal point of view. I don't know how much legal weight they actually carry. It also will depend on the jurisdiction. As far as I know, even places with joint property laws it only applies to anything gained after the marriage and not what they had before.

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  • Depends. Honestly for me, if its true love and everything is done correctly and is healthy, not rushed or fling of the moment... then the idea of a prenup probably wouldn't even be brought up, or cared about for that matter. I mean... if I marry, I'm not planning to get a divorce.

    Put it this way, would you date a girl if she told you that you had to sign a form that said any gifts she gave you, in the event you broke up with her, would have to be returned to her immediately? lol. I know its slightly drastic, but the idea remains the same. Focus on whats important. To answer the question though, knowing my personality, and knowing that I wouldn't marry if not for the right reasons, I'd sign a prenup, mainly with the intent that probably her parents talked her into it and I wouldn't care. Besides, I know how to manage my own money and how to utilize a savings account xD

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  • If she were to insist on a prenuptial agreement, that would tell me that she didn't love me or completely trust me. No, I would not.

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  • Yes because if you love someone then you'd take a bullet for them and protect them no matter what including signing a pre-nup if that gives them a sense of security. That said, if they want a pre-nup, you have to wonder how they feel about you and how deeply committed they are and if they really love you. If they really loved you, they'd take a bullet for you and want to protect you - even in a divorce.

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  • We all like to imagine we live in this perfect little world where people are honest and faithful but we don't and people need to remember that even if you the reader are 100% honest and faithful, the next reader might not be.
    I think it is fair for people to take a safe side and do the things that seem untrustworthy because even if you do plan on being with the wealthy partner for the rest of your life, you can never know what that someone is going to do or how they really feel.
    I personally would marry my partner no matter what she said. I would give her half of my assets to spend 5 years with her because I truly care for her. Obviously I hope to god that never happens but hey! who knows what could happen...
    I think that if someones family earn a wealth, that they should be entitled to control what happens to it. I also think that if you have an issue with not getting entitlements to the wealth, that you are a scumbag and you need to stop fucking with peoples lives ; )

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  • defiantly, if we keep separate bank accounts and I also get to keep any of my earnings than it's a good thing.

    only down side is if we have children and she doesn't want anything to do with them. I don't know but I think the contract of a prenup generally voids child support.

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  • I would be okay with that. Too many people in marriages and relationships now a days take advantage of one another and aren't held accountable for it. In some cases the person that does wrong gets rewarded for it. You can't trust anyone completely. I can also see why some would not like to get prenups because they see it as the other person not believing in their relationship 100 percent. People need to get their head around the fact that no matter how "well" you know a person there are some crazy, psycho, greedy fucks out there.

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  • "It's somethin that you need to have, cause if she leave yo ass she gon' leave with half." Kanye tried to warn guys like Tiger, I refuse to lose half my shit. I'm sure my wife would feel the same way

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  • You gotta put that condom on right?

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  • Only a fool trusts anyone completely.

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  • I guess so, if I got married at all.

    I feel like I'm going to end up living with a girl for so long that eventually one day I'll wake up and some little girl will be shouting "Daddy! Daddy! It's time to wake up!"

    And I'll be strangely OK with it.

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  • yes I most likely would.

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  • A prenuptial agreement is one of those things u should get but hope to never use. In the event of a divorce, it's hard to get back to normal when half your shit now belongs to someone else. If someone truly loves you, they should understand.

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  • Don't get married. It's a risky situation for any man to marry in this day & age. If you end up having children, many judges will just tear up a pre-nup.

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  • Yes. They likely are just worried. People are exploitative. If you really wanted to marry them for the person they are, then it shouldn't matter if you aren't allowed to have their money in a divorce. It won't change your quality of life while you're with them, and it is completely harmless. It's just to assure security in the event the marriage fails. Given current divorce rates, I think that's a safe and respectable thing to do.

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  • I think you should respect your partners choice. If this means anything to you then you might just be a bit superficial no?
    Especially if you are young then i think a prenup should be almost mandatory because you dont want to ruin the economical situation for the rest of your life just because of a mistake.

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  • I think a prenup is a good idea to avoid being taken to the cleaners.

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  • I don't really care all that much about money, I've gone most of life without tons of it, I'm sure I could live without her large wealth so I'd have no trouble signing one.

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  • Yes. I fully support prenups and would most definitely ask my fiancee to sign one (even though my family aren't particularly loaded, they still have an inheritance that I wouldn't want to split in the event of a divorce).

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  • Yup. Katy Perry, you listening?

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  • Yes i'd still marry them. I wouldn't marry someone for their money, I would marry them for who they are.

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  • It would definitely make me re-consider it that they think there is some chance that the marriage would end by getting a prenup.

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  • Yea definitely. If a girl I wanted to marry asked for a prenup I'd have no problem with it. Being prepared for something to happen doesn't mean that you expect something to happen. She would just as likely think I'm just marrying her for her money with intent to divorce soon if I refuse to sign as I would be likely to think she just wanted to use me and intends to get rid of me later of she refuses to marry without a prenup.

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  • Yes, but mainly because I would be the one asking for it.

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  • Usually guys ask for a prenup but if a girl ask me to sign a prenup who was finacially wealthy i still marry her and faithful and if i asked a girl for a prenup it be like a she get like 30% of my assets if we divorced.

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  • I don't blame them for a prenup. Divorce rates are the highest they have ever been.

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  • I have some wealth and I assure you no women will be married to me without a prenup.

    Its not a matter of love, it just is better this way. Marriage shouldn't change a thing in the way you see each other. I find it useless anyways...

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    • wealth from what?

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    • and youa re between 18 and 24? how?

    • Hard work, dedication, sacrifices...

      And I am proud to say that I've built that all by myself, I came from an average-poor family. If you wish, inbox me and I'll answer all your questions.

  • Even better! YeS

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  • It doesn't matter. A prenuptial agreement can be thrown out in a divorce. Just ask all of the guys that killed themselves after their wives financially raped them (with no vaseline, mind you).

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