Is 23 too young to have a child if I m done college and my bf and I can sustain ourselves and the child? we plan on being married eventually. finance?

yes i m an anonymous male on profile. i m also anonymous when not anoymous by doing so.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not too young, but I'd still recommend getting married first. A baby is a toll on a relationship and requires complete commitment from both parties. When the going gets tough (and it will with children), the decision for him to move on to someone else will be much easier, and then you're left in single parent status.

    I'm not saying this can't happen within a marriage, but usually these guys have already decided they want to commit their lives to that woman and children.

    My biggest question would be, if you're not ready to get married, why are you ready to have kids? I think that says a lot about the state of the relationship.

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    • What a load of absolute garbage.

      You don't need to be married in order to have a happy, fulfilling relationship or a great family life.

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    • thank you for the insight! although i m pretty sure we will, that would be ideal.

      the reason is that we have a bit of capital but wed rather buy a place and flip it, rather than gamble with it through paying for a wedding. we figured wed have more money and more security/options to do whatever afterwards. were already committed and building a life together=)

    • @TheWiseOwl, I never said you did. But in THIS case, she stated marriage was something she required, and expected to happen in the future. I was merely posing the question that she be sure he's in this for real before having children and finding out he's not going to give her the marriage commitment she expects.

What Girls Said 6

  • I don't think it's too young. What matters is that you are both ready, that you are financially stable and of course ready to be parents.
    I have a friend who had her son when she was 22 and she's a great mum and her boyfriend is a great father. What matters is that you are both ready. I don't know what kind of way you want to have a child if you're gay, adoption, surrogate. It probably takes more time for a gay couple to be parents than a straight couple so you also have to take this in consideration. If you take your decision now, it might take years. So it's pretty smart to think about it now.

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  • You believe in yourself and you feel you take the responsibility. So I don't see any problem.
    Still being married before having kids will make your relationship stronger in my opinion. Your baby will belong a family who is also officially announced. I find this important.
    Well it is up to you, of course. Good luck.

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  • you plan opn being married eventually? What is holding you back from getting married but not holding you back from having a baby. If you are not ready for marriage now be it financially or mentally then you are not ready for a baby.

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    • so that we can use our saved money to buy a place and/or to flip it. with our faith of commitment to each other in place, we figured the next important thing is finances.

  • As long as you can afford the child and are married first I don't see why not

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  • My parents had my brother at 23 and we never had too many financial problems

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  • If you feel you can take care of a baby then go for it.

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What Guys Said 4

  • you said you can sustain yourself and the child so no its not too young. if you think you're ready and you want to do it then go for it.

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  • If you're both financially secure and you are confident that you have the maturity and the emotional stability to handle bringing a child into this World then 23 is not too young at all.

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  • I would do some serious financial planning, before having a child.

    Go over your current incomes, and weigh in living costs for the two of you (rent, utilities, misc bills, what u stash away for savings, etc).

    Then see If It's feasible to raise a child (including child care).

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  • Children need a male and female figure to develop properly, gays having children is selfish and stupid.

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    • yes they def do need mature or mature enough to raise them. i m old fashioned and agree with the akwardness of gays having children as well.

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