OK so I think I have a big problem: I keep liking older men. Like seriously I recently have been getting crushes on men somehow involved in my life who are a lot older than me. But I haven't been getting a lot or any crushes on guys who are my own age (around 20) who usually tend to be very immature and 'only want one thing'

These men have been in their 30s to about 50. Of course they are more mature and...established I guess you could say, they are good people. I don't know what my problem is! my friends make fun of me a lot for it. What's wrong with me?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't believe anything is wrong with you in the traditional sense of the word, if at all.

    I think you have stated your problem very well in fact. You don't appreciate or enjoy immaturity of any kind. So you feel that older men who do not exhibit immature behavior openly to be more desirable.

    I will warn that many men who are older are really no different than young man in terms of what they want. Notice I did not say all.

    Older guys are more sophisticated in their approach, and have more experience, and thus are able to use more strategy to "woo" you and end up in bed. Case in point, you refer to your feelings for older men as a crush, not as an interest, like, or attraction.

    A crush typically refers to immediate, lustful feelings for a person whom you've had little to no contact with. So where a young guy lacks in charm, it's safe to assume that older men have hit your 'hot' buttons, which is why you are gravitating towards them.

    Engaging in relationships with older men means you have to be a little more discerning, becasue they will be able to pump you up and make you feel like things are real, when in actuality they are working things to the bedroom.

    However, not all older men think this way, and it is very possible that you meet one who is honest, and does not have an alterior motive in their communication.

    I'm just warning you to be wise about what you engage in, because you are entering a world where you really don't have experience, and further do not have experience to match what these guys have. You could meet a really great person, or be lead then the garden path, you have to be cautious.

    One thing you can be sure of, though younger men are always looking for sex, at least they are honest about it. The wiser some men get, the more devious they can be.

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    • Wow, very well put thank you so much!

      ..but do older men really want to ..bed someone as much as younger men? I thought maybe they might be past their sexual peak. I mean I understand they will still want it...but as much?

    • It depends on the individual person.

      I believe that an older man who has an interest in younger women is more likely to have a particular interest in sex over other men dating within their age range, but that is not a hard and fast rule.

      Another thing to consider, is even if they are not pressuring you to have sex, they may still want it as bad. But since they are older, they figure letting you dicatate when it first happens will leave the door open for anytime they want it.

    • K I think I understand this a lot better now.

      thank you so so so much! you are so smart!

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm kinda like that. I just don't get along with my own age group cause I find guys immature. Presently, I've been liking guys in 30's cause they are just starting to get their life on track and are ready to be family men -> Which I guess is what I'm looking for. I'm also shy around guys my own age, but for older I just assume "ah, too old to date", and then suddenly I'm building these friendships where I'm like "Now if only he wasn't already married..." -> That's another thing, I find married men more attractive when I see them successfully holding down a relationship. At the same time I crave a bit of a father figure, which might be why I enjoy being around older guys, and really crave their appreciation (cause I felt pushed away by my dad). Though I'm trying hard to find a guy my own age to get into a relationship with because long-term I just think it will be better for me.

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