My boyfriend is not ready for marriage. What should I do?

im 27, he is 35. We have been in an exclusive and official relationship for 4 months. We had good time and shared a lot about work, family, view of life. But he seems never open for marriage topic. He said he likes and cares for me a lot but not sure im the one and not sure he loves me when i asked. He also seriously considered about a job opportunity oversea when it came. He doesn't feel happy in our town and said he was here just for short term. But he said our relationship is not a throw away stuff and let wait and see how life brings coz we have just been together for 4 months. I can't bear the feeling of uncertainty and had brought up the topic about what i want ultimately and i how i feel in tears. I also so said i wanted sometime off this relationship to think about it. he said he didn't want to hurt me but he can't give me what i want because i doesn't want a family in the next few year. He doesn't want the break up but if i can't give me the commitment then we better split according to him. We gonna have week for both of us to think about what direction we want to move this relationship to. After awhile, i dont want the break up but also dont want to burry myself in a dead-end relationship. I want to give it another 6-8 months to grow but not sure its worth my time investment. Please help


0|0
4|4

Most Helpful Girl

  • You haven’t even been together for have a year. Of course he’s not “ready for marriage” with you! He’s barely had enough life experience with you to decide he would want to build his life around you! Sorry girl, but you are not being realistic. He probably doesn’t love you because IT’S ONLY BEEN FOUR MONTHS. You seem like you are moving waaaaay too fast emotionally. Don’t rush him or pressure him to make big moves that logically and intelligently , people shouldn’t make until they have been with someone for ONE YEAR MINIMUM. You’re being overly emotional and very pushy with him.

    No offense, but I can see why he broke up with you because you were pressuring him to love you, make a family with you, and leave the town with you when your relationship had barely evolved to those serious stages! That’s a lot of pressure and stress! You sound like you either have self-esteem or intimacy issues if you honestly believe that a four month relationship is a ‘dead-end relationship’ because the guy doesn’t want to marry you : / My advice to you is that you be more realistic about the lengthy process it takes for these things to manifest. No well-rounded man is going to want to marry you and have kids with you after just four months. That’s kinda redflaggish.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • It's hard to say if he'll change his mind because that's what you're hoping he will do. If he says that he wants to go overseas, that's what he'll do. Have you known him to change his mind? If he hasn't, then you have your answer. The question is are you afraid of being alone. Would you rather start something new and get what you want or continue on this journey without having to start over? Have you met any of his family or friends? I would ask them if he changes or has he changed to make him feel this way.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Holy shit. It's been 4 months settle the fuck down. Rushed marriages dont go well.

    2|1
    0|0
    • Have to agree. I can understand if it's been "at minimum" 1.5 years, but 4 months? Marriage wouldn't be on my mind 4 months into a relationship... continuing to maintain consistency in it is.

  • Marriage wouldn't be on my mind 4 months into a relationship... continuing to maintain consistency in it is. I doubt it's literally the next few years... and if he wasn't kidding, there's a lot that can happen in that time.

    1|0
    0|0
  • 4 months wow. Marriage could take 5 years. Calm down

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 3

  • I stopped reading after "in a relationship for four months." Please don't expect and Rush into temporary things after dating the guy for less than a year.

    2|0
    0|0
  • He's a guy. He's gonna need a lot longer than a few months to be open to marriage. I'd say at least 3 years

    1|0
    0|0
  • It has been four months. Chill out, stop putting pressure on him, and stop freaking out because a guy didn't decide to marry you, build his life around you, and make you the mother of his children after barely getting to know you.

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...