For guys 30 and older - please I am so LOST! baffling behavior!!!

I have been with my fiance for 18 months and we recently got engaged. He said he felt good when he asked me. This was 3 months ago. My fiance is 31 years old and is ready for marriage. We are very close and we get along so well we rarely fight. BUT About 25 days ago he disappears and after all day says he needs time to find himself. His friend had picked him up and told him that to him he was worried about me and my fiance being together! So now my fiance hasn't talked to me for 25 days! He opened up to my brother and cried and said he loved me and said he wanted to the separation to be over soon. He even told me he loved me and its not over he just needs to find who he is. What does this mean?

Updates:
No there's no other girl in the picture. The last time I saw him he cried and held onto my hand real tight. Said he loved me repeatedly. I take it its not over he just needs some time to collect who he is.
He is stressed out about work and his family don't help none either. They hate me so they try to talk him out of a lot of stuff esp being with me! :-(
Seems they like controlling him & since I came along their money tree has stopped giving them money. They R selfish & jealous of me. I helped him see the + of church they couldn't so they take their unhappiness out on me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • sounds like he is having his mid life crisis a little early...good thing about it it usually comes around just once. I had mine when I hit 38. I guess you just wonder if things are always going to be the same and it can drive a guy batty.

    He might be thinking about switching careers (thats what I did). add to that you guys are going to wind up getting married (big decision) and maybe he feels if he gets married he can't make the changes he needs to make, so he wants to hold off on the marriage but he doesn't want you to get disappointed if he backs down...the irony is he made sure you became disapointed...which is something he wasn't aiming for and trying to avoid.

    that's just my 2 cents and that's the lighter side.

    there is a darker side but somehow I am not getting the impression he is interested in another woman by reading your story. I think he is just questioning his life and where it is going.

    Disclaimer: doesn't mean he is thinking of suicide, he is just ready to make some big changes in his life and doesn't know how yet. I'll bet the farm that he is worried about his earning power and wants to change that for the better.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You have to talk to him and get him to open up to you -- what is it he is worried about? You need to tell him that if he can't talk to you now, before you're married, what will your communication be like after you're married? Even if he decides that he still want to marry you, he needs to explain this behaviour. If he doesn't, you should seriously think about if you want to marry him.

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  • why do they hate you. just wondering.

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