Please help... Arranged marriage... I have feelings for him?

I just got married to this guy and he is very cute and handsome. Were are living together from 15 days. He wakes up at 5 am and cooks for himself and for me. He goes to work at 7 am to 4 pm. I don't know cooking very much so he does the 90%. He doesn't talk to me at all... He only replies if I ask him something. When he is at home he does his office work (he is very hard worker... even in school he always got 1st rank... Never ever he got 2nd rank)... or plays games that make me headache. Recently from few days I am getting feelings for him (it didn't happen before marriage we saw each other)... I want to kiss him and yesterday morning I imagined it. I really can't control myself to stop looking at him that doesn't even bother him. How do I get him to talk to me? Please help...

Updates:
As he is always the 1st ranker in his school, college & office so his mom told me that he doesn't know the pain of failure.
He is on something like scholarship exams and he is so selfish that he only studies... Nothing else he does... What kind of man I am married to who only knows how to do hard work but no time to spend with his newlywed wife.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know much about how wives are suppose to act in your culture toward their husbands so I could be wrong, but I doubt there is any social standard saying you aren't allowed to kiss your husband when you want. If you haven't had sex in your marriage yet then this makes more sense. You may both be nervous of fully embracing your vows, and are worrying about being rejected or judged by each other.

    You could try asking him open ended questions that are designed to get him to talk more. The more someone talks the closer they feel to the person they are talking to. Him refusing to talk may be a sign that he just doesn't feel comfortable with you yet.

    If he studies and works that hard he might not have much time for developing social skills, so he may be even more nervous about upsetting you, than you are of upsetting him. So you need to make sure he knows he can talk to you without being judged poorly. Maybe when he does say something complement his voice or say something about how smart he is. This should hopefully make him feel more comfortable talking to you.

    Touch him in innocent ways to get him use to your touch. Such as straightening his clothes before he goes out, picking a piece of lent off of him, brushing up past him in the hallway. This should help him get use to your being around.

    Eventually if he continues not to make progress you may just need to talk to him directly and let him know that you would appreciate him talking to you more often than he does.

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What Guys Said 10

  • its 15 days into an arranged marriage, you both are going to need more time to adjust. you are husband and wife now but try coming onto him slowly, he might want you just as much as you want him.

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  • Sorry, but I doubt whether this will work long term. Arranged marriages are just that, just what they are. Convenient for parents. You cannot, and never will, arrange love. He might well be good looking, hard working, clever, but if his heart is not in it now, I doubt whether it ever will be. Did you know him before hand? Did you get to know him first? Have you ever developed your own feelings for him? He may not love you at all, and may never. This type of marriage belongs to the 20th century, or more like the 19th century. It has no place in modern society except to appease both sets of parents. They don't own either of you. You should have free choice to set your own destiny, to make your own mistakes, to find your own true love. Sorry to be so blunt, but you have been forced into something that is NOT right for either of you.

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  • by cooking something for him
    and wear something nice for him

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  • Hey look.. is a arranged marriage.. You didn't know each other and then suddenly you two got married... So you are just getting to know each other... its not like love marriage... That you know each other from the first...

    So just give it a little time... I am sure he will get comfortable with you over time... just keep patience...😊😊

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  • First of all don't listen to people who are saying arranged marriage don't last or anything.. Second he is your husband so there's nothing wrong in having feelings for him... try having friendly conversation with him... it may take some time to adjust... just do things that you think will make him more comfortable with you

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  • ask him what he loves more... his job... or YOU?

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  • What are your sleeping arrangements?

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  • Ask him to teach you to cook. Spend time with each other.

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  • If you do what you can it never satisfies him do some thing new that he can't image like prepare a dinner with romantic decoration for him.

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  • hello,
    to me it sounds a very typical arranged marriage of the 1950 era... have you both never ever had a friendly conversation? Why / what motivated you both (esp Him) to get married when you both didn't have any sort of understanding / connection / spark? How can two people live under same roof and not talk or even have a casual conservation? How can two people of opposite gender despite being married and in an official relationship be so cold to each other and not feel attracted to each other?
    Is he EXTREMELY shy guy? Are you also uneasy with guys? Have you / he ever had friends of opposite gender at school / college?

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    • Yes. We had talk to each other very less before marriage. He also had many opposite gender friends... There were some girls in his collage who teased him... I am not at all uneasy with guys...

    • Show All
    • How old is He? and why did he marry if he wasn't ready for it?

    • He is only 20 days older than me...

What Girls Said 2

  • What are his likes? Ask him cooking questions.

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  • Learn cooking from him.. Try to talk to him as much as you can..

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