Polygamy whats your opinion on it?

In Islam a man is allowed to marry up to four women they said its a good idea and can help society especialy it will reduce cheating and affairs outside of marriage. What do you think about it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Interestingly in the west, in most places it's totally legal to have mistresses, totally legal to pay for the mistresses homes, if you have children with the mistresses, you'd pay child support, etc. etc. So there's nothing that prevents someone from having multiple partners, multiple homes for them and so on.

    Interestingly, we have common law marriages etc. which basically give the lower earner (more often female) rights in the case the relationship ends even if they didn't get married. This is done ostensibly to protect her, so that she gets the share of assets etc she 'deserves' for having been in a marriage.

    But if the guy is already married, and the same woman was a mistress? Fuck her, not a cent to her when the relationship ends, every dollar he earned belongs to wife number 1.

    Basically it's a fight between first wives and others for men's money, and first wives' are politically more powerful.

    As you may guess, I lean towards making polygamy legal - since multiple concurrent sexual and childrearing relationships are legal, why shouldn't equality between spouses be legal? There are details, but these details COULD be worked out.

    That's all nice in theory.

    In practice most ACTUAL polygamy involves small cult like religious groups in secluded areas who banish 2/3 of the young men and brainwash the girls telling them they'll go to hell and never see their family again unless they become wife #7 to some elder. This is basically abuse, and whether or not the girls are theoretically legally old enough to marry, to suggest this is truly a free adult decision is ludicrous. That said, i'm not sure polygamy laws are the best barrier to this.

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What Girls Said 16

  • I think Polygamy works for certain individuals and allows them to carry out healthy relationships without sacrificing their "freedom". Polygamy can even allow someone with a phobia towards commitment to enjoy a relationship as well. It's a perfect fit for certain people, but it also doesn't align with mainstream society who mostly prefer to be monogamous. It's entirely subjective, but I can understand why someone would choose to be either. Personally, I like the idea of polygamy because I don't believe in "soul mates". I think there is more than one possible mate for each of us, and polygamy (or polyamory) allows us to explore that and be free when it comes to love. Personally, I could see myself getting jealous and becoming unhappy with a polygamous relationship. I don't see any issues with polyamory itself, in fact I think it's super progressive of people to embrace it. People are free and can't possibly "belong" to another person, but unfortunately, people do get jealous and territorial.

    In the certain case of Islam, I don't like how only a man can take on multiple partners. I think it pushes forth the idea that women are property, when polygamy is about freedom of love, not giving yourself freedom and denying it to others.

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  • Based purely on my views and beliefs, I'm opposed to it, it's not something I would do for me. Being married you're emotionally, financially, physically and spiritually bound to your partner. Something that shouldn't been taken lightly and you if you feel like you can't commit to that then you probably shouldn't be getting married. However, I know that it works for some, and that's okay too.

    Polygamy is a lot more involved that just being marry to more than one woman. What if you have children from each of your wives? What if they want to live in separate homes? What happens in regards to your insurance and your medical cover? Financially alone that's an incredible undertaking, if you chose to have more than one partner and she becomes pregnant, you will be supporting her. I doubt your other wife will want to partake in her money being spent on another woman. How do you maneuver your personal lives with each of your families? Seeing your children and your spouses, going on holiday etc?

    As a woman, I would find it an emotional blow as well. Like I wasn't enough and he felt that he needed to look outside the home for whatever. And I know that most men wouldn't be okay with their wife taking on another husband, so why is it okay for a man to? Realistically, it's a more complex issue than just sleeping with other women and relationships are complicated as it is, why add to that complication? The term three is a crowd is a literal concept.

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  • Each To Their Own & Live And Let Live.. But it is most certainly NOT FOR ME.

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    • Good but can I ask something, Do you rather your husband to has a mistress outside of your marriage or has another wife?

    • Most definitely NOT.. Am a one man woman.. And he is a one woman man.. Period.

  • If you want to live with multiple wives then good luck to you!

    I don't find the idea of polygamy attractive, that dynamic does nothing for me but I really don't understand why people have such an issue with it. As long as the relationships are not abusive or manipulative then I really don't see what the problem is. I don't see why they want to get married though, the idea of marriage to me is swearing that you will forsake all others before this person, you cannot do that with more than one person.

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  • I'd leave him before he even acted on that notion. If he thinks he can have four wives. Nothing will be stopping me from divorcing him and finding a more decent Muslim man

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  • I don't like the idea of my future husband love ANOTHER WOMAN or even OTHER WOMEN at the same time, it would break my heart into pieces.

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    • Agree and I have no plan to marry more than one woman at a time.

    • Same here, I can only love one man and I hope he'll do the same to me.

  • I don't like it, and I'm Muslim. If my husband did that I would divorce him.

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    • Hi I'm a Muslim too and don't want to do it just stick to one woman is better for me.

  • there have in Islam, but it is acceptable in certain circumstances, I'm against polygamy

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  • I personally do not agree with it.

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  • To each their own, I guess. But if I married a Muslim guy and he marries another woman... Then I would leave him.

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  • Just curious. Can a woman have multiple husbands as well?

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    • No they can't.

    • Show All
    • I have not any more answer because I am not an Scholar but I can say from myself first who would be the father of the kid if the woman has more than one husband? Or what kind of men want to share a woman? Its so against humanity and all of the standards.

    • @asker I'm sorry my friend but this is not the best way to answer her question

      @chick180 first of all we are here talking about a married couple (a husband and a wife) who are having sex, in Islam having sex outside marriage is a sin equally for both men and women.
      Now yes men can marry 4 women together, but women can only marry one man in the same time, the reason behind that is that man have more sexual ability as I said before he can make 4 women pregnant in the same time but a woman can't get pregnant from multiple men in the same time... However it's just something optional, you won't be rewarded if you do it and it's not a sin if you don't do it, I personally would never have more than 1 wife... But If someone want to do that then he must treat them fairly and equally, otherwise it's prohibited to do that.

  • As long as they were adults and not forced into doing it, as in they weren't manipulated into doing it and wouldn't have gotten punished for not doing it, I don't really care.

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  • I don't support it

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  • I personally wouldn't get into it but if other people agree to doing this then that's their business and their choice.

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  • I'm down :) I dont mind sharing

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  • Dont care...

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What Guys Said 19

  • Well I'm Muslim and I wouldn't marry more than one wife, but Islam allowed this in some cases and it's optional, you won't be rewarded if you do it and it's not a sin if you don't do it... However this video may answer your question about why Islam allows this http://youtu.be/_5ZuQ7Rltw4

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  • Islamic men do that and they still visit prostitutes. Probably because all their wives had their clit cut out, and can't enjoy sex.
    Even the high ranking Islamic religious officials do this.

    All the prostitutes know the routine off by heart. He will say "I marry you" before the business starts. Then he will say "I divorce you", when the business is over. That way, he hasn't offended Allah or broken his religious beliefs.

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  • It is important to remember that "polygamy" can mean three or more people, regardless of gender.

    Under a system of gender equality, there is no good reason to deny that we must keep evolving until an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, monogamy or polyamory, race, or religion is free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any of those without the others) with any and all consenting adults. Polyamory, polygamy, open relationships are not for everyone, but they are for some. The limited same-gender freedom to marry is a great and historic step, but is NOT full marriage equality, because equality "just for some" is not equality. Let's stand up for EVERY ADULT'S right to marry the person (s) they love. Get on the right side of history!

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  • For me as a Muslim I do not see my self marrying more than one.

    Yes it is allowed in Islam, but people only stop as the surface and ignore it is conditions (I am not a scholar, but this is what I know):
    - Unless they agreed to something else; the husband have to provide full support for his wives (including separate household) and their respective children and to be fair between them.(This right is help by the wives for both themselves and their children).
    - It is allowed due to the Biological, Psychological and usually Cultural differences between Males and Female.
    - No one is forced by anyone. Even if all parties have fair condition and there is no rights violation occurred, the wife/wives can simply ask for divorce, or return the dowry paid to her and FORCE a divorce.

    In my view I see it is a rare special condition, the provide solution to communities with high Female ratios. And focused on by the media while other religious and none religious practices and plane unfair against Islam's teachings (For example the half/half Divorce rules in some countries, which I think is putting a lot of pressure on couple who want to marry, also possible scams?)

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  • I'm against polygamy. I don't think it should be sanctioned or licensed by the state, and in Western countries it isn't.

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  • As long yes everyone's consenting to it fully, I have no problem with polygamy. I mean, it's not my place to judge, even if it's something I'd never do nor want.

    That said, I doubt that this reasoning is sound: "it will reduce cheating and affairs outside of marriage."

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  • It causes too much jealousy. Every watch Big Love? I believe that marriage should be defined between one man and one woman.

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    • Forgot to say in Islam if a man wants to marry more than one he needs to treat them equal.

    • "I believe that marriage should be defined between one man and one woman.

      Marriage should be defined between two people that love each other...

    • Defined as "two people who love each other": Under the broadness of that definition, that could mean: Man and boy, brother and sister, man and man, two people who are already married, etc. etc. Marriage, since the beginning of known history has been defined between man and woman. It is not right to begin altering that institution, particularly being the cornerstone of the family and our society.

  • Whatever creams your twinkie.

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  • My preferred type of relationship. Not just me having multiple women around, but letting them have fun with other guys.

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  • I think consenting legal adults should be able to marry whoever they want.

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  • It's a bad idea. It leaves 75% of men forced to remain bachelors. If God had intended for every man to have four wives, then there would be four women for every one man in the human species.

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  • Consensual polygamy should be legal, but I wouldn't do it.

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  • In polygamy... You have to take care, perform your duties, give time to all your wives equally...

    Besides this... Wives, their families are jealous of each other...

    So its difficult n complex matter..

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  • as a guy im all for it

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  • its better than one. Although what's more worse than 1 nagging wife?

    anymore than 1.

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  • I think it's uncivilised.

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  • It's not ok in my opinion because marriage is between two people not multiple.

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    • Its always between two people its not like 1+4 but its like 4(1+1) .

    • What I mean is that you should have one partner not multiple partners.
      I hardly doubt that the man even fulfills all of his wives needs if he has more than one. Won't jealousy also come up if he spends more time with one wife than the others?

  • Frowned upon since the suppression of it by the Western people.

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  • The problem with women including Muslim women is they see polygamy only on the basis of "Sex or Intercourse". There are many cases in regions blighted by war and poverty wherein the women have been orphaned and without any male support. Do you think the government will provide for them or do you think the patriarchal society of men will go out and marry a woman who is poverty stricken and orphaned? Probably not.
    A marriage is much more than sex or intercourse. It is about sharing your pains, hunger, compassion and mercy towards each other.
    On the other hand feminists and their PR machinery will try to justify that polygamy is biased. Nevertheless do you think a man would marry some woman who has had multiple boyfriends before she gets hitched? They would run away.

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