Are there guys out there who want to save sex for marriage?

At first when I started believing in God and deciding on my own to follow God, I wanted to save sex for marriage because of that, but over time, I ended up having my own desire in wanting to save sex for marriage. I just want to do it with someone I'm committed to and someone who I'll love and I feel like if I do end up having sex before marriage, than I'll end up betraying myself. But I do know that we live in a time when sex is very open and most relationships do have sex before marriage. And I do know that many guys wouldn't want to be with me once they find out that I don't wanna have sex before marriage. But I'm wondering if there are guy with similar mindset ad me and if some of them do wanna save sex for marriage?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sure, as if commitment was only possible if you are legally bound with a finger on your hand, and not because you are actually dedicated to each other. Because unless a guy buys two rings and signs a piece of paper, they obviously don't care about you even if you have been dating for 3 years. Other people get married in 4 months just so they can get in each other's pants, I am not sure if that is any more or less saint.

    I think it makes sense to want to have someone who is mutually committed to you, but I think it is somewhat half-hearted to claim that your partner is trustworthy only if they make a bureaucratic pact about it - and that so getting out of the relation can take extra hoops and time and money (divorce).

    Just because divorce makes separation more difficult doesn't mean it cannot happen. In which case it is odd that so many girls attempt to leverage themselves using physical intimacy as the offer in return for rings, I just find the whole concept roundabout and an obstacle against true mutuality.

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    • I want to get married and have children and etc. I suppose I come from a more traditional background. But not All marriages end up in divorce. I know many people who are married and love each other. Marriage for me is a statement of someone's love. Sure they know that the person loves them and they trust them, but through marriage both of them are stating their love for one another and their need for commitment. Not all marriages are used for negative things

    • I believe physical intimacy is an essential part of expressing affection, and therefore linking it to bureaucracy and a third party is in my opinion pretty much unreasonable in a relationship that is meant to be between two people.

      If you want to have sex with each other, then go for it! Go with your desires, if you trust each other, then why not?

      I can't blame people who break up rather than "wait until marriage", objectively that is proof that your partner does not trust you unless you sign a pact and buy her rings.

What Guys Said 15

  • Only about 3% will take the risk of a sexless marriage, or a life of sexual frustration.
    97% will expect premarital sex and proof.
    1% of marriages in the USA are never consummated, which becomes serious when you're only dealing with 3% of the population.

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    • I'm not saying sexless marriage. I'm saying saving sec for marriage

    • @ahrt95 : They never say in advance it will be a sexless marriage, but people who have never had sex can't say how they will perform. They may never perform (that happens) or they may think performing once every six months is quite adequate.

      The other 97% of people who actually have premarital sex know they can do it every day.

  • There are many guys who think like that so don't worry.
    The reason there aren't too many is that it's pretty risky to get married and find out later that you two are completely incompatible in the bedroom. It's like marrying someone without living together first. I know that sex shouldn't be so important but to me sexual compatibility is just as important as emotional compatibility. I would keep God out of the bedroom but that's just me, to me faith isn't about dissimulation and the following of predetermined laws.

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    • But if both of them are saving it for marriage, than would there still be a problem if they can't compare it to anything?

    • No, choosing a virgin guy is the best way to go and you can explore your sexuality together.

  • I wear a purity ring. Also, there's a very good reason to wait until marriage. Read what I said here: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1473295-do-you-think-it-s-inconsistent-to-be-christian-also-do-sexual-things

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  • Absolutely, I, myself, am one and I've met several others but its still only a handful compared to the world since sex is very popular. Also be careful when you do tell someone you will wait to have sex because there are some guys who will marry just for sex then either stay just for the sex and not care much about the children or may just leave afterwards. Some people just don't care about all the crap a divorce case will bring to get out of the relationship.

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  • Yessss! Right here baby! Ur the kinda gurl one in a million hard to find so... will u please marry meh 💍

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  • Your best bet is with religious people. Some people try to get laid but luck was against them so now they say they are saving themselves so watch out for those people...

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    • Hm I never thought of that. Well I do believe and love God but the true reason behind saving it is because of my own desire and even though I'd prefer to date someone with the same beliefs as me, at the same time I wouldn't want to be with someone whose saving sex out of force, not their own desire

  • I wouldn't have a problem with a girl that wants to wait until marriage as long as she wouldn't have a problem with the fact that I didn't.

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    • Yea I don't mind if the guy had sex or not before.

    • Then it wouldn't be a problem at all. I can't speak for all guys, but I'm probably not the only one.

  • This is a rare breed you speak of

    But they're out there...

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  • That's what I tell people in order to make sure they don't think of me as a loser who can't get laid, even though that's what I am.

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  • i wish i would have known god ahead of time but i didn't
    but i now him now so im happy I've only been with 1 person cause i have friends with hiv for having sex with so many people so god has protected me now im super picky when it comes to women

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  • I'm sure there are, especially in the States. Weren't the Jonas Brothers like that?

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  • I'm not going to wait for marriage...

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  • Yea, in utah.

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  • You know, sometimes I envy married guys. You have the same person every day for over 30 years. You wake up, eat with her, sleep with her. Make love to the same woman.
    You spend every possible waking moment together, while I'm out running around with a bunch of 20-year-olds who only want a good time and cheap sex sex sex. Girls who can't say no. Girls who can't get enough. "More, more, more. It's your turn now to wear the handcuffs... "
    [Asker starts foaming at the mouth... literally]
    I just want love, asker

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  • I waited until I was married. I'm not religious, though.

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    • So are you happy with your decision?

    • Yes, I'm glad I waited for the right person.

What Girls Said 3

  • There are DEFINITELY guys who want to save sex for marriage. You have to get around the right people and the right crowds. Forget about statistics and numbers because all you need is 1 guy who is going to love you and God and that guy is going to respect the decision you're making. I have a few celibate friends who are in relationship with men who are celibate too. Most people aren't into waiting until marriage for sex for some strange reason, but in my time being celibate I've learned that me being celibate will improve my marriage when it happens:
    1. Because I've decided that my body will only be for my husband
    2. I've had way more sexual thoughts than I ever did when I was actually having sex and my husband will reap the benefits
    Just keep doing what you are doing you're on the right track. Join religious groups you will meet both guys and girls who are waiting until marriage just like you. You will realize there are more of us than you think.

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  • my boyfriend and i are the same :) if i could find one so can you xx

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  • It really doesn't seem common at all but there has to be because my sister got one

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