Do you think 9 months is to soon to be engaged?

me and my fiancee only dated for 9 months before we got engaged however within the last 9 months we have spent every night togther have had sex everyday and gone out on at least three dates a week. we have gotten to know one another and we have all the same intrests and desires and goals in life. we support eachother we love eachother we care foreachother wed fight for eachother. now my propsal was a very in the moment thing we were at my grandmas house and i was showing her one of the rooms and she found this old jewlery box and she saw a ring which she loved i told her that the ring was given to me to give to my future wife and then i told her how i never thought i would get to use it and how pointless it was for me to have and then i started talking about her and how much i love her and love having her in my life and at that moment i knew it was the right moment and i got down on one knee and proposed to her and she started screaming yes. and when i put the ring on her finger and saw the way it looked on her i knew that she was the one. we both have all the same goals and support eachother in life she supports me in my goal of opening up my own bar and i support her in her goal of opening up her own beauty salon. she is my soulmate and i am sure of it and she thinks the same way about me i spent 24 years alone and it took me years of thinking of what i want in a girl and she's it. i love waking up right next to her eachmorning and i can't wait to grow old with her and spend the rest of my life with her. however many of my friends and family think this is a bad decision and we are both rushing into this. we have both agreed not to get married for another 2 years and we also agreed divorce isn't an option. however i cannot suggest to my fiancee that we call off the engagment and go back to dating she is very sensative and will probally leave me if i do that. i mean i am really nervous about this and starting to wonder if this was the right time to get engaged


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Awwww. That's such a sweet proposal. You seized the moment. I don't think 9 months is too soon to become engaged, especially since y'all spend so much time together. You can't listen to what other people say. They don't know your heart and everything about your relationship. THEY don't know her as well as you. Follow your heart and gut instincts. I admire what you said about your feelings for her. You show such strong feelings. The fact that you both agreed to wait two years before the wedding shows that your heads are in a good place. You are both being respectful of your family's feelings and using that time to grow together in your relationship. I do know quite a few people who have gotten married rather quickly and they have lasted. My best friend's mom and her stepfather got married within 4 months of meeting. They now have three teenage children and are going strong. There have been bumps along the way, but they work it out. I know a couple that got engaged within three weeks of meeting and they are still together years later. My aunt and uncle got married in Vegas when my aunt was 14. They are both in their early 70s and still married with two children, three grandchildren and two great grandchildren. You know what all of these people had in common? They all said "I just knew".

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What Girls Said 7

  • media3.giphy.com/media/1qweexqh24KuA/giphy.gif

    You can't really know someone after 9 months.

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  • Yes I feel so

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  • not to soon especially with a 2 year engagement !! Congrats!!

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  • I think 9 months is way too soon. The minimum for me would be 3 years.

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  • I think only you can know if it is right - every relationship is completely different and no one will ever experience yours. Dont go back to dating now - there is really very little difference between engaged and datung except that if you go back to dating you are breaking your engagement for the sake of outsiders putting doubts in your head. A couple of things that might really help you both is to learn more about relationships - a couple of
    things I really wished my husband and I had read before we got married and then went down a rocky path is:

    1) read the article below - I'll post it in a separate comment... basic idea is that our relationships consist of constant "bids" by each person to connect with the other and it is crucial for the relationship that the other person responds in a way that makes the other person feel loved. The article also talks about ways relationships are destroyed.
    2) read up about love languages - just google it. Basically everyone has different ways they like to receive love. If you understand your partners way then I think you can better spot one of their bids for a connection and you can give them what they need.

    these two things will also help you evaluate whether your current relationship is naturally going on a great path or whether it will require work to keep it on track. For example, if you both have the same love language you will naturally give eachother what you need because you tend to express love to your partner in the way you lije to receive it

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  • Yes it's too soon.

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  • No was engaged and married within four months

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What Guys Said 5

  • very soon bro... u hardly know her!

    i guess at least 2 years a good period to know each other better :)

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  • What difference does it make whether you are bf/gf, engaged or married? As many downvotes as I am expecting, how is one different for you from another?

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  • Yes! Way too soon. Two years would be perfect but anytime after 1.25 years is fine.

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  • if u love her it will be so long and if you dont feel into her so u will find her sitting on your head tomorrow haha , man it depends on how you feel.

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  • i think it can wrk

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