Do you believe a man can fully serve two families? In other words if a man has a wife is he more obligated to her or his intermediate family?

Do you believe a man can fully serve two families? In other words if a man has a wife is he more obligated to her or his intermediate family? I'm asking because my boyfriend was the type to always be there for his family financially. When we got together he told me he plans on making me his wife and started focusing more on us financially. He also continued to be there for them the best way he could but worked towards our future together. They became very resentful of our relationship and treated him wrong. Their attitudes became like forget what you did for me what are you doing lately. Or your not doing enough. It really bothers me to see him go through this. He wants to be accepted and loved by them regardless. We all have the same 24 hours but they think his belongs to them. We all grow up and make our own families which his sister have and parents. Its like they want him to make up for all their slack and leave him with nothing while they run along with whoever they are with. The sisters keep having kids by no counts so we watch the kids constantly but they still aren't satisfied so he just stopped. They don't like me and show it but expect me to jump when they need something. I do but it's getting old. If I have to go to school and tell them I can't do something they get mad at us and want include us in their lives. I don't want to only be liked based on what I can do for you. Treat me how you want but not him he doesn't deserve it. He loves them but now he loves a women too and they are so jealous and nasty about it. I believe it's because he's a good man and they are hard to come by. None of them have been blessed with this not even his mother. The father threw all his slack on my fiance. I really tried for him and to be liked but I'm washing my hands now.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Family loves and supports you regardless of financial contributions. If they only want him in their life because of how much money he gives them or how much help you both give them, that's not right or okay. It means they're using both of you.

    At this point I don't think it's a matter of choosing yourselves over them. It's keeping up with the needs you have for yourselves in your own lives.

    • Best answer yet! They have conditioned him this way and it's sad. We just want to be happy together. Misery loves company. Your right they just want to use people up. They don't even like me. Will come in my house without speaking but as soon as they need a ride or something they call ME! My family welcomes me with open arms so I don't get it.

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    • I have and once he said I'm so jealous of how y'all are.

    • Poor guy :c

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What Guys Said 3

  • Its a good question and each spouse has to learn a balancing act. Sometimes family of one side can't be pleased no matter what and the spouse of that family should recognize this and set boundaries with their family

    • Yes they are never pleased no matter what so he has cut them off completely. He's fed up but everyone wants a relationship with family regardless of what you can do for them. It's very sad to me.

  • once a guy's married, then he should focus on her... this is his actual family now anyway... no?

    • Glad somebody gets it.

  • Its all one big family. But she cmes first. That should evolve over tome though. At first he will be very tied to his parents, then less so as she takes the focus.

    • This method is fair. It gives the family time to get use to the girl instead of feeling like she just came and took over. But his family family didn't want it any way. They just don't like him being serious and we are grown. He automatically put me first and says it was just what came natural. He felt like it's the way it should be. Not like I just came in and demanded it. He was still very tied to them just wasn't satisfied.

What Girls Said 2

  • To both equally, but as he gets children - to his family - immediate one.

    • Well his sister's have children so shouldn't those men be helping them? Why does it change when he has children if we become married without children. I don't mind him doing for them or sacrificing at all but our needs and household come first. They don't stop to help us. They want him to sacrifice what they wouldn't even think about sacrificing. Parents are mad at him for doing what they wish their daughters baby fathers would do.

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    • I didn't down vote you sweetie someone else did just made a mistake and did it trying to see who did oops sorry

    • Haha Kinda made my day. xD
      No problem. =)

      If you can't talk to him about it... I don't know what else you can really do...

  • I don't think so.