Are second thoughts before marriage normal?

This guy just unloaded his soul to me. He is getting married in three months! I said he doesn't feel like the person he is marrying is marrying him b/c she loves him... but b/c she wants to be married. He said she isn't affectionate, she doesn't touch him and she creates rules. He also said she feels more like his mother than his wife... Are these second thoughts or should I advise him to call off the wedding?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is marrying a total loser!!! He should definitely call off the wedding...

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    • How bad is all of that? How bad is it that he thinks she is like his mother and not a wife?

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    • No worries. He is marrying her b/c he loves her as a person... and doesn't want to hurt her. Maybe he doesn't feel like he can do any better. I'm not sure. I don't have his number or any way to contact him so... I can't carry on any further conversation.

    • Ok well i hope she stood rejecting him at least once they get married... LOL

What Guys Said 4

  • The question is, why is HE getting married? He needs to reexamine this decision.

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    • I know, I wish I had his number.

  • Second thoughts are definitely normal. The reasons he is giving though doesn't seem normal for a couple who is about to get married.

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    • I agree. So what do I do? I don't have his number. He isn't on FB. I live across the country.

  • He needs to call it off.

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    • Right? If he feels like she acts like his mother and not a wife... she makes rules and is affectionate when he responds correctly.. it's just a doomed marriage in my opinion.

    • All it sounds like is that she doesn't want to be alone. And she trying to lash on to this guy or anybody.

    • Yeah. Small town, people are kind of expected to be married by a certain age... she latched onto the first guy she dated after college. He said he thinks she just loves the idea of being married, but doesn't want to marry him. That's horrible! How can he go through with that marriage?

  • are you getting married?

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What Girls Said 1

  • It doesn't sound good... Plus everyone says that marriage tends to make existing problems worse.

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    • I feel like I should call him so we can talk about this more. I mean, he needs to talk to her. I just don't know how much or how little I should intervene. He spilled his soul to me about what he really feels and I feel a little responsible now!

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    • She doesn't even believe in divorce... so that would be extra hard. I think they are doomed no matter what. They only seem to get along when they drink. They fight all the time about everything. Yes, I think being nervous is normal, but he sure said a lot there... a lot more than that. He sounds kind of miserable actually.

    • Yeah that is so bad! It's just a sign of things to come. If they already argue all the time then I think things will get even worse. That's why they have that saying about fighting like a married couple!

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