Have you been married 10 yrs+.. Is your relationship still great? Even in the bedroom.. or have you lost interest?

10 years married and I swear the last 2 have been ridiculously lonely. It's work and normal daily routines. Sometimes I feel like he doesn't even see me anymore. I aways heard jokes about marriage is the end to your sex life but I figured that depended on the couple. I've tried everything you could think of and he says everything is fine. If it does finally happen, it's just for his satisfaction. All this is leaving me confused and questioning everything :( Any advise from married guys or gals? Guys, After so many years did you ever lose interest in your wife?

Updates:
* so in your situation, you just grew up and apart over the years. That's kinda sad as well. At least you can admit it though. My husband says everything is fine. I'm still beautiful and he's happy. I just don't get why he isn't hearing me when I say I'm not... :(
Drifting apart because we are apart. That makes a lot of sense actually. We don't get a lot of alone time. I try to make it happen. I try to do all the little things to get his attention. I have dinner ready when he gets home, house is clean laundry done. I send texts throughout the day. I've tried explaining to him that a quickie once a month for his satisfaction leaves me with a lot to be desired and his response is normally.. I'll take care of that soon but soon never happens.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you talk to him? Do you do things together? The problem maybe that your drifting apart because you are apart. If you don't spend time with eachother in intimate stress free settings then this will happen. Do you have kids this is usual reason for the drifting apart, you have to reconnect. That doesn't mean sexually but emotionaly/mentally. When you have sex you can try and make it about him, teasing and such. This may help and make him desire you more, but this really is a symptom of the problem not the problem itself. Get him to do a date night, set it up yourself if you have to. Show him he is desirable for more then fullfilling your needs, and he will start wanting to fullfill your needs. If that doesn't help then you should see a counciler.

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    • I updated question in response before I noticed the comment section. Your response made me think a little more. It would be a lot easier to fix what's broken if I knew what it was. But he says everything is fine..

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    • Your* my apologies.

    • Tell him every word of this, if he doesn't respond then there is most definitly a problem and tell him this is a deal breaker. Marriage is about the both of you and you have to let him know, not in your disapointed sort of a way but that it has destroyed you confidence and makes you feel like he doesn't love you the way he use to.

What Guys Said 2

  • You need guidance. A lot more that anyone or even a group on here could possible give you. You would be best helped by someone who is trained to help couples understand what is wrong, and even to understand that something IS wrong. Pleas read www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10515-what-can-couples-do-when-the-relationship-is-rocky

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  • I've lost interest, and been with her for close to 11 years. but mine is a tad different. I just grew up to be a different person and I don't gel so much with my wife anymore in the attraction department. I love her, but as a friend basically and want to be with other women. Its tough and I havnt pulled the trigger yet. We have spoken about it and she says I can have sex workers when I want, but I don't like that either. People should not settle down young!!

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    • Growing up together and then apart is sad as well. I guess that happens when so much changes over the years. But at least you will admit it and say you're no longer happy. Instead of leaving her to question her every move. So kuddos to you for being a man about it.

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