I'm 17 years old and have been with a guy for almost 7 months... I also have a 2 year old who loves this guy more than anything. She calls him daddy sometimes but trust me, she knows who her real daddy is and loves him dearly. A month of two ago, he bought me an engagement ring but hasn't proposed yet. Do you think I'm too young to get married? We have an amazing relationship due to the fact that I'm VERY mature for my age and he's also 22 years old... let me know?
Most Helpful Girl
I will tell you a few things, as I feel I have married young (at age 21). I was always cautioned by my parents to wait. I was head over heals with my current husband at your age and I felt like it was us against the world. Nothing was going to stop us, and we were going to do as we pleased.
Reality settles in. I needed money in order to go to school - I had ambitions of going to college so that I could one day support my future family. Neither of our parents allowed us to live with one another or form anything more serious than a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. If we did get married, both of our parents would have stopped supporting us financially. Something we couldn't afford at the time.
I decided to wait until I graduated. Waiting always seemed like such a burden to me, but now that I am actually married, I realize what my parents were cautioning against.
We are now stuck in a situation where we are living in the in-laws basement, we have loans to pay off, and we owe money on a car that is currently broken down. I am unemployed, and we are barely making poverty level income. Don't get me wrong. I love my husband very much and would not undo the bond we have made now that we have made it; however, if I could go back and wait a little longer - until I could land a job on my own and be more independent myself, I think I would have voted to do that had I known it would be this hard now.
There are a lot of things to consider in marriage... not just love and romance, but the financial aspects of it as well.
Also, it is best to give a relationship some time before creating that ultimate bond. I was with my husband for four and a half years before marrying him and I have known him now for almost ten years. There are likely things that you don't know about your boyfriend. There were things about my husband that, despite knowing him that long, I didn't know until we were married. Like how frequently he plays videogames. I knew he played, but I never imagined the full scope of just how much of his time and energy it occupied. The things that annoy you a little now will become even more poignant in marriage because you will be living those annoyances day in and day out.
It's a big commitment, not to be taken lightly. It's easy to get caught up in the love, but you also have to be pragmatic about marriage as well. You don't just have to have the right guy - you also need the right timing. If you time it wrong, even the right guy could be the wrong guy.
Waiting never hurts. If you wait longer, it will allow you to get to know him and yourself better. You can perhaps go to school and get educated, become more independent. Grow in yourself and your mother role some. Remember, it's not just you you are taking into consideration any more. You also need to do what is best for your son. Be sure that if this is a relationship that doesn't work out, you have the means to take care of yourself on your own.
Good luck :)
PM me if you need anything2