How can I fix my marriage?

I love my husband, we have been together for over 5 years. He has changed a lot since we have been married and we have a son together. He can be really sweet sometimes but for the past few months he is just angry or unhappy. He never looks at things positive and I am normally very positive. When I try to kiss him unexpectedly hr looks grosses out and wipes it off but says its because he wasn't expecting it and doesn't like surprises. Every time we have sex he wants it to be fast and doesn't want to do anything to lead up to it and its over fast. He tells me he lives me and he is just really stressed. Recently my body is starting to reject his touch and I have a response to make move his hand. And I know this is bad but i had I was having an affair and didn't care but I don't want things to end this way. I don't ever want to hurt him that way and I want us both to be happy in our marriage. I just want to fix it but I'm not sure how to. I love him and I know he loves me but it is getting really hard sometimes. I want to think about the good things about our relationship but every time I think about it, I think of the bads things. Any advice on how to make it through this? Please nothing downing me. Thank you

Updates:
And i ment to say I dreamed about the affair, I did not actually have one. My post came out wrong

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like he's stressed or depressed and needs help and I hate to say it, you ignored the signs.

    I'm sorry. I'm been on the receiving end of a divorce (my parents) and been cheated on. I can't agree with what you've done but that's not to say I don't understand. Cheating destroys a family. You should tell him, but you should find out whats wrong first. His depression was a catalyst and you sought comfort and sex elsewhere as a result. Sort his depression, you sort the problems. In theory. If what you're saying is true.

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    • I haven't cheated on him, what I stated was just a dream. I would never do that to him. I really love him but its hard to figure it all out. My family keeps telling me that we shouldn't be together but that's not what I want to hear. I really want to stay together. We did get married young but we both made that decision.

    • Read it back that's not what you put.
      You need to talk to him. Like force it out of him. Nothing can progress until he's honest. Take him out for the night, pay for everything, have a date night and the following day have a heart to heart.

    • Wow, my post came out really wrong then and thank you

What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like you had a civil marriage and not a holy matrimony with a church and religion. In holy marriages the role of the husband is well defined and rules are spelled out. He has an obligation to make you happy with sex it is a job. If you look at the traditional marriage vows, love does not need to exist for a marriage to exist but it is told of man to love his woman and woman to do the same. If the shoe was on the other foot, you can not say no to sex and satifying your man and he must do the same. You need to see someone about your marriage.

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    • And i ment to say I dreamed about the affair, I did not actually have one. My post came out wrong

  • The guy is stressed. Ask him what he's stressed about and try to help him solve it.

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    • And i ment to say I dreamed about the affair, I did not actually have one. My post came out wrong

What Girls Said 5

  • Are you open to seeing a marriage counsellor? It is selfish that he just wants a quickie. Something's changed in his heart.

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  • Try seeing a marriage councelor or a sexologist to spice up the marriage. Also it would be a good idea for him to take a vacation.

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    • And i ment to say I dreamed about the affair, I did not actually have one. My post came out wrong

    • I know what you meant I just see a councelor because sometimes people need outside help

  • I'm assuming your married young

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    • Yes, we got married when we were 18. But I really want to make us work. I want to grow together instead of growing apart

    • And i ment to say I dreamed about the affair, I did not actually have one. My post came out wrong

  • great. a few months bad and u already cheated on him

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    • If you seen, I fixed the post. It was meant to say I had a dream. I would never do that to to him...

    • yes i saw it after posting. sorry

  • That's sad 😢

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