Just found out dad cheated on mom after 20 years and my boyfriend is planning on proposing to me very soon. Advice please?

I have three younger brothers and I'm staying at my apartment in my college town. My 16 year old brother called me yesterday saying some woman called my dads phone while my brothers and mom were also in the car and it was synced to the phone in the car and everyone heard her. She didn't say anything but my dad wouldn't answer the question when my mom and brother asked her and he started drinking a lot and finally he admitted that he has been cheating on her and said he doesn't need her anymore. I thought my dad was perfect and he's the reason I believed in love and marriage and now I have no respect for him. After 20 years and four kids I can't believe he would do this. I haven't talked to mom yet but this morning I found out my boyfriend is picking up my engagement ring! He hasn't asked my dad permission yet but now I don't even know if he should.. and I'm scared ro get married because I thought my parents had it all together and my mom made sooo many sacrifices for him and he just threw it all away. Should I just let him propose to me in his own time and tell them later when things cool down? How do I keep from becoming paranoid about my relationship? I need all the advice I can get right now


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Most Helpful Girl

  • dont relate yourself to your parents relation.. sorry if i sound rude but it is not your or your bf's fault that you dad was a jerk.. and i feel very sorry for your mom.. but you cannot see one man and make a theory for all the men on planet.. for all i know your dad is a drunk idiot.. and your boyfriend can b the mos loving and loyal person on earth.. dont give away your happiness because of what your dad did.. ok.. i hope this helps.. :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • Every relationship is built with two people, a man and a woman. Marriage provides a framework for certain legal rights and responsibilities and certain expectations, but the framework does not define the relationship; the two partners define it. Your marriage will be what you and your boyfriend make it into and you are certainly not doomed by anything that your parents have passed on to you. Read my recent take on Who Should You Marry

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10762-who-should-you-marry

    Answering those questions may help to allay your concerns.

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  • You're fine. Your dad is silly don't worry about it.

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  • Ur boyfriend will cheat on you too. Or maybe he will picture u as someone else while having sex with u.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Your parents are you and your boyfriend. If you love him, don't be scared. Trust him. He is not your father. He is your boyfriend. When I found out things similar to that about my parents, I was so confused panicked. I didn't think I would ever be able to trust someone enough to even enter a relationship with, but I am in a relationship and he has proven to me time and time again that he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Talk to your boyfriend about your fears. He'll understand and he will be able to settle those fears.

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  • OMG!!! The first thing I am going to say is I am sorry to hear that about your parents. I remember years ago when my boyfriend wanted to propose to me and I was afraid because his mom and dad were together for 25 years and he cheated on her. They were not married. He got up one day and left her so I started to think wow is my boyfriend going to be like his dad? But you know what I said no I have to give him a chance. Remember life is about taking chances weather it be good or bad. Just because that happen to your parents doesn't mean it will happen to you too. I married him I been with him for 11 years altogether but married only 8 years and 2 kids later. And I love him and I am happy I give him the chance to prove to me that he is not like his father a cheater. You deserve to be HAPPY too don't ever forget that..

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  • your boyfriend is not your dad!

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