Is it wrong that I don't wanna get married?

Well, I don't wanna get married until i make a good career and finanacial independence and sufficieny, I mean what is the rush? Marriage can wait and so can the guys. So, my exes were like very judgmental about how wrong i am about it and my choice. So, is it really wrong? Or am i just letting those jerks get on to my head like this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not it's not wrong at all. You're doing great, ur exes are just bitter. Forget them. Even if you decide to never get married, there's nothing wrong about that. It's your life, you are the only one to decide how to be happy.

    Want to know the truth? Many guys will make you feel bad about ti because they feel offended by your behavior. They feel like you refuse to make them the center of your life. And honetly, why would you?

    People can say: "Oh but you'll regret it as you get old, not having met agreat guy and bla bla bla and being with your prince charming and bla bla bla". But let's think the other way. What if you get married without having a career and being independant and before doing all you want to do. More than 50% of marriages don't work out or, at least, are less than what people expected. Then you'll be stuck in a prision marriage, not being able to provide for yourself and frustrated for not doing what you wanted to.

    I've met a lot of old women like this.

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    • Frustrated, constatly daydreaming about the ife they could have had. Stuck with domestic obligations and living with a person they don't love anymore.

      You should be the center of your own life, not anyone else.

      Take care.

What Guys Said 15

  • I'm on my second marriage and I can tell you that at 44 with 2 young kids it can be challenging keeping up with them...
    Few things to consider... and I'm not saying you'll be like this, but think about it...
    Once you get your career, you won't wanna give it up...
    When you have children, you become a parent so parent them, don't put them in daycare so you can have a career and your kids are raised by carers and grow up without that bond to you...
    If you wait till you have your career, your financial stability is under control etc you'll be past having kids and too old to enjoy them...
    Once you and your man are over 30 the quality of your eggs and his sperm are declining giving you a greater chance of issues and complications...

    Now I'm not saying that you need to get pregnant tomorrow, but fairy tales don't happen in real life.. life is what you make it...
    I was a stay at home dad to my two till they started pre school and I spend every precious minute I can with them, coz I grew up with working parents who I hardly saw and I am not close to them emotionally at all..

    You're only 20 but careers and ego's aren't everything, and although money can make life easier, it sure isn't necessary...

    Just my opinion

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  • boys were asking you to get married!!! that's seriously unusual... when it comes to commitment (marriage is biggest of them) guys just run like hyenas are chasing them!!! so u must have found some really elite posh exes... but i couldn't agree more about financial independence... guys won't agree to it but they look down upon girls who are homemakers (in fact, would be insecure if their wife is earning more)... so i believe you need to first create your own identity and then think of marriage... plenty of time for you..

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  • Well, it's your choice.
    Just remember a few things:

    1.) Women age faster than men. So while men generally look okay even when they're in their 50's, women start to lose their beauty rapidly. If you're going to wait for too long, by the time you'll "get ready", there will be a new generation of young, fresh, juicy girls that will be more attractive to men than you.

    2.) Successful women often have to pay a price for their success: and that is being lonely. If you're going to focus way too hard on your career and independence, over the years your character will change. And too independent/strong female character is unlikely to attract men, since men generally look for women to take care of due to built-in protector's instinct. So even if you will maintain your good looks, guys may start to see you like an extremely cute... guy. They may be up for a challenge to get "had sex with the Queen" trophy, but marrying you won't even appear in their heads.

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    • My mother is in her early fifties and people tell her all the time that she looks like she's in her twenties. Mt grandmother is 20 years older, and people used to think she looked like she was in her forties.

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    • I get it. So it's like she'd turn everything into a reverse sexism issue. So you can't hire someone who would cause that level of drama. Well, thanks for posting all of that, it gave me something to think about.

    • @CandyandPinkCats
      A bit wrong: she will create sexism (woman being sexist to man is not "reverse", it is also sexism) inside the office to begin with, while there's none in their office at the moment.

  • No who says you had to get married in the future? I'm not thinking about getting married cause it would be a lot to work on and commitments.

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  • I can't understand why people would look down their noses and be put off by that idea. I'm wanting to wait until I have a good income and life before having kids or getting married. I can only assume that is the normal thing to do?

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  • Yes, you are letting other people interfere with your thoughts. It's common these days to want to pursue a career, or travel, before gettig married maybe about age 30, especially among educated women.

    So don't get down on yourself. You're in good company!

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  • you are ONLY 20!!! OMG getting married at that age is just foolish. Get married after 30 when you are settled and ready to start a family.

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  • Marriage is a choice the same as having kids, pickin what shirt to wear and decidin where you'll have lunch are choices, it's up to you.

    Few hundred years ago when survival was dependent on people raisin families it'd be a different story, but there are so many people now it doesn't matter.

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  • Nothing wrong with that just dont get too wraped up in your career goals that you forget how to love and live life and ya know the right guy won't hinder your progress hell encourage you

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  • All you need to realize is that the number of miscarriages spikes statistically after the age of 30, and after that point, there is no going back. Otherwise, wanting financial independence is admirable, but marriage isn't necessarily a hindrance to that, other than the wedding costs anyways.

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  • It is up to you after all, your life not theirs

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  • You've been drinking too much of the kool-aid sweety.

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  • I honestly wouldn't care whenyou got married. But just remember, its bad if you wait to long because all the top guys will be taken by then and the quality of guys will diminish. Instead of getting ths huge black body builder at 27, your left with a skinny mexican guy at 32.

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  • Good luck finding that man, who is as financially independent as you are. HAHAHa

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  • You're not wrong at all. The married life isn't for everyone and if you don't wanna do it, don't. They'll either have to just deal with it or find someone who's willing to just dive into marriage.

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What Girls Said 12

  • It's not wrong. I decided the same thing after my divorce. I realized that everyone would be a lot happier if they had themselves together before trying to bring something serious in their lives. Plus I've been divorced for three months and I feel great. Just focusing on me and not on anyone else. I've been able to accomplish sooo much more. There is no rush. Except rushing to make mistakes.

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  • Coming from someone who is actually about to get married i completely agree with you. If you don't want to or you want to wait until you have a career then that is fine. You're young so there is no rush. I wouldn't worry about them, when you find the right time you will know. Likewise if you never want to get married that is fine as well!

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  • its your choice... it should be respected

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  • Not at all. It's actually very smart that you are focusing on your career and yourself rather than anyone else. Most relationships don't work out anyways.

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    • True that. Thank you

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    • You are so strong! I wish you all the good luck and best wishes for brighter future for you.

    • Thanks hunny :) Best of luck to you too in your career and life!

  • Most people my age don't want to get married right now either including me. I'm not seeing myself getting married till my late 20's. There's a difference in saying you never want to marry and saying you're not interested in marriage right now.

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  • They are just trying to change your belief about it. You would be surprised even if you don't tell them anything, they will ask you a list of questions to determine if you are on the same line with them.

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    • Nah i think that they are just finding some kind of excuse to break up with me. They believe that rules are different for en and women. It doesn't work like that.

  • Of course it's not wrong! If you NEVER want to get married, it's not wrong. It's your life, don't let other people tell you what is right for you.

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  • No it's just your ideal life

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  • No, it's not wrong at all. It's your life and your choice.

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  • You have to remember that guys may not be that great looking in their later ages and all those handsome guys out there would already get married by then and only those who didn't get any matches or those who are divorced and wants to marry again shall be the only option for you. It's good that you want to be financially self sufficient but eventually, you will realise that there is no relation between "financial independence " and marriage. There are many examples to quote this. Look at Natalia Luckyanova and Keith Shepherd. They are the founders of imangi studios (temple run fame) and became millionaires because they were married to each other. Husband could always be a great support for you to settle financially. I don't mean that you ought to depend on him but 2 is always better than 1 isn't it? You could save your earnings (or his) when you spend his money (or yours). Think about it. Good luck :)

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    • And I don't really think those guys are either judgmental or jerks cause it's very unlikely that you find a guy who is willing to marry very late. Again, I'm not telling you should compromise, just letting you know what the norm is like.

  • No not at all. You've the right to choose your own life. People should respect your decision and shouldn't push their belief to you.

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  • No thats the smart thing to do.

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