What to do after 3 years? Part 2

So after she started to be somewhat bitchy, one night in particular was when we went to a mutual friends house and she wanted to drink. She had never done it before and wanted to try it with me but felt she needed my permission. I didn't want her to drink but said do whatever. She said she wouldn't but then seemed like she was sneaking drinks. I got upset and left the room, I'm not the yelling type I'm a bigger guy and wouldn't want to scare anyone. So she comes over to me and this is when we had a conversation I always regret. I told her that I could see us going separate ways. I could tell at that moment I had f***ed up. As before she never admittedly could've seen a life without me. I was all she knew. The thing is I don't enjoy drinking or smoking. It's just not for me I've done it plenty of times but I find it to be unnecessary. Since that day she was never really quite the same. She was distant walking around by herself exclaiming that she wanted to be alone. I knew that the reason for this was because of what I had said and her pent up frustrations with me almost 3 years at the time. I'd try to engage her in conversation but like most of our relationship she was withdrawn from confrontation with me. I know that that's my fault because I am somewhat condescending by nature and it's not intentional but there none the less. Well she started spending time with her mom again which was great, they reconciled but I knew it was because she didn't want to be around me which she admitted openly. Well it got to the point where I knew I just made her unhappy. We are on a team together and have to leave on weekends and one weekend she completely ignored me stating she needed some space. This wasn't like her and I wasn't used to it. Later that week she told me that point blank after I begged for the answer "she wasn't unloved with me anymore." my heart broken I tried to tell myself it was just a phase and told her that I'd leave so she could straighten things out but I couldn't for a month or so because I needed winter break to happen first. Well although for moments things seemed normal I knew it wasn't their anymore and I tried harder than ever got candles wrote love letters poems things I'd done in the past to let her know I was back the guy she fell in love with. But she, the girl I fell in love with was gone. As I typed that I kind of just realized that. Damn. "she ended up telling me that I was right. And that she had started to resent me." she never stated a particular reason but she was just angry and didn't feel the same and didn't know what she wanted. I knew that this wouldn't heal itself we had to break up. About four days ago she came home late from hanging with some kids on the team a guy friend of mine dropped her off and I didn't really care but her lack of concern is what made me upset. So the next morning I thought wow I'm only 20 and this is hard...So I'm gonna post a part three I swear this is it

Updates:
So the next morning I wake up and she actually approaches me I was still angry but I told her I had just been rude the night before and I was sorry. She shook it off but I asked her if she understood why I was upset she said no. I explained that I fel
So the next morning I wake up and she actually approaches me I was still angry but I told her I had just been rude the night before and I was sorry. She shook it off but I asked her if she understood why I was upset she said no.
I explained that I felt she didn't respect me as she stayed out until two in the morning and didn't even call. Truth is I can't really sleep without her so I have to stay up, it's lame. But she said that just sounded like she had to check in.
I just look at it as common courtesy as it's something both her and I did for the past 3 years. She later went on to tell me that the change in her behavior was linked to the fact that she was basically tired of trying to live up to my standards
as she constantly had to worry about doing all the right things. And that she was not as unhappy anymore. That broke my heart once again
ill post more later if you have any thoughts so far please share them it's to late now I'm tired thanks

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  • Donn't get back with her

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